Filing for Custody Pro Se

[2Mistakes]

I try to communicate with her dad. How can I get the insurance company to give us a card with only our daughter's name and info? My husband does not want his children's info in the hands of my ex. Neither do I. My ex agreed that I could just take the card to the doctor, dentist, eye doctor, etc. and have them copy it and get the info that they need directly from me. The problem now is that he will not tell me who he took her to see so I cannot talk to the dentist, or give them the information for insurance.

Have you explained the situation to the insurance company? Have you asked them to send you an insurance card with only your daughter's information?

Or here's another idea: Make a photocopy of the card and redact all information but that pertaining to your daughter. Give dad that copy.

There's more than 1 way to skin a fly with honey, or something like that.

 

[NC Mom in Indy]

Have you explained the situation to the insurance company? Have you asked them to send you an insurance card with only your daughter's information?

Or here's another idea: Make a photocopy of the card and redact all information but that pertaining to your daughter. Give dad that copy.

There's more than 1 way to skin a fly with honey, or something like that.

I have explained to the insurance company. They don't care. They said to just give the copy of the card to the doctor's office myself.

I am going to copy it and remove all information pertaining to anyone other than our daughter. The doctor's office will receive a copy of the entire card from me. My ex was ordered to carry insurance. My husband put her on his insurance after we were married as a bonus. Both companies pay. We never have OP expenses thanks to my husband's insurance. My ex should be happy about that after all of the months that he failed to carry insurance and my husband's insurance was there. Instead of saying thank you he gets resentful. He tells our daughter that my husband and I are rich and can afford to buy her clothes and take her places he can't because he is poor, because I took all of his money!

 

[2Mistakes]

I have explained to the insurance company. They don't care. They said to just give the copy of the card to the doctor's office myself.

I am going to copy it and remove all information pertaining to anyone other than our daughter. The doctor's office will receive a copy of the entire card from me. My ex was ordered to carry insurance. My husband put her on his insurance after we were married as a bonus. Both companies pay. We never have OP expenses thanks to my husband's insurance. My ex should be happy about that after all of the months that he failed to carry insurance and my husband's insurance was there. Instead of saying thank you he gets resentful. He tells our daughter that my husband and I are rich and can afford to buy her clothes and take her places he can't because he is poor, because I took all of his money!

Seems to me that you are making this whole insurance card thing more difficult than it needs to be. You've already said that you CAN'T provide the doctor with the card directly because you don't know who the doctor is. So how can you follow through on the bolded statement? You can't. So I presume it's back to, "Well, the doctor will get the card when dad gives me the doctor's name." You're both being boneheads about this.

Should dad give you the docs info? Yeah. But he hasn't.

So be the bigger the person. Copy the stupid card, redact all info that is not your daughter's, and give dad the redacted copy of the blankety blank card, for God's sake!

No wonder the 2 of your aren't co-parenting very well. You're both too concerned with "beating" the other.

 

[NC Mom in Indy]

Dad was ordered in court to provide me with all information pertaining to medical issues, appointments, etc. He refuses to give me information such as the name of the therapist he took our daughter to, etc. When he had a medical card for our daughter (the other insurance company BC/BS issued the kids their own cards) he refused to use the card. He is in essence refusing my husband's insurance coverage.

With the costs of medical care, appointments, medication, tests, etc. who would ever refuse good insurance?

I have the right to know the names of my daughters doctors, dentist, therapist, eye doctor, etc. I may not have a legal say in her treatment today, BUT I care about my daughter. My ex is only concerned with being in control. If I have to file for a contempt hearing I will do so.

If I file for contempt and he decides to cooperate prior to the hearing will the judge still hear the case, or will it be dismissed?

 

[2Mistakes]

Dad was ordered in court to provide me with all information pertaining to medical issues, appointments, etc. He refuses to give me information such as the name of the therapist he took our daughter to, etc. When he had a medical card for our daughter (the other insurance company BC/BS issued the kids their own cards) he refused to use the card. He is in essence refusing my husband's insurance coverage.

With the costs of medical care, appointments, medication, tests, etc. who would ever refuse good insurance?

I have the right to know the names of my daughters doctors, dentist, therapist, eye doctor, etc. I may not have a legal say in her treatment today, BUT I care about my daughter. My ex is only concerned with being in control. If I have to file for a contempt hearing I will do so.

If I file for contempt and he decides to cooperate prior to the hearing will the judge still hear the case, or will it be dismissed?

You just don't get it. You don't KNOW that dad would refuse to use your husband's insurance. You won't know that until you GIVE DAD THE CARD.

And wow. Think about THIS . . . . if dad does use it, viola, you can find out the names of your daughter's doctors. Everyone ends up happy.

Don't cut off your nose to spite your face. Just because dad may not be right doesn't mean that you have to stoop to his level.

And I'm not sure dad even HAS to tell you who her doctors are. He has sole physical and legal custody correct?

Another senior who understand's the ins and outs of whether he has to tell you anything can clarify that.

 

[NC Mom in Indy]

You just don't get it. You don't KNOW that dad would refuse to use your husband's insurance. You won't know that until you GIVE DAD THE CARD.
And wow. Think about THIS . . . . if dad does use it, viola, you can find out the names of your daughter's doctors. Everyone ends up happy.

Don't cut off your nose to spite your face. Just because dad may not be right doesn't mean that you have to stoop to his level.

And I'm not sure dad even HAS to tell you who her doctors are. He has sole physical and legal custody correct?
Another senior who understand's the ins and outs of whether he has to tell you anything can clarify that.

My husband's insurance plan changed. Prior to that time my daughter's dad had a CARD HE REFUSED TO USE OR ACKNOWLEDGE FOR HER HEALTH INSURANCE. Therefore, I know that he would NOT use the card.

There is a CO that dad MUST provide me with the medical information. In addition to that CO it is in the ISPTG that both parents ust share info. He is required by law to notify me of all medical appointments, etc. He agreed that since my minor stepchildren were listed on the card I could just provide it to the doctor.

 

[2Mistakes]

My husband's insurance plan changed. Prior to that time my daughter's dad had a CARD HE REFUSED TO USE OR ACKNOWLEDGE FOR HER HEALTH INSURANCE. Therefore, I know that he would NOT use the card.

There is a CO that dad MUST provide me with the medical information. In addition to that CO it is in the ISPTG that both parents ust share info. He is required by law to notify me of all medical appointments, etc. He agreed that since my minor stepchildren were listed on the card I could just provide it to the doctor.

Then I don't know what to tell you. I still think you should make a copy of the card, redact your step-children's info, and give it to dad. If he doesn't use it, he doesn't use it. But you did what you could to provide him with the information.

And if he is not following the court order, file for contempt. There's not much else you can do.

Do you ever talk to your daughter about when she goes to the doctor? Does she not know her doctor's name? I'm not saying that you should "pump" your child for information or put her in the middle of this, but through casual conversation with her, you could find out the name of her doctor.

 

[Ohiogal]

My daughter has been budding for 6 months or so. She is 4'7". I bought her training bras, and spoke to her dad about encouraging her to wear them. I am concerned about early puberty (it runs in my family). I don't know if it runs in her dad's family. There are no other young girls. I have several relatives with PCOS, so I think that our daughter needs to be watched for this. The weight gain worried me for 2 reasons. It could be a sign of PCOS even at her early age, or it could be a sign of depression. My daughter cried when her pants wouldn't button, and told me that her dad calls her a tub of lard and fatty. He tells her that she is fat and ugly like her Mom. (He must mean her STEPMOM ) (C'mon how could I resist that one...)

Snipes like that are immature. But if your daughter is budding most likely she has entered early puberty. She needs an appointment.

I try to communicate with her dad. How can I get the insurance company to give us a card with only our daughter's name and info? My husband does not want his children's info in the hands of my ex. Neither do I. My ex agreed that I could just take the card to the doctor, dentist, eye doctor, etc. and have them copy it and get the info that they need directly from me. The problem now is that he will not tell me who he took her to see so I cannot talk to the dentist, or give them the information for insurance.

The problem is your husband is insuring your daughter. If you don't want that issue, then HE does not insure her. YOU do.

 

[LdiJ]

Snipes like that are immature. But if your daughter is budding most likely she has entered early puberty. She needs an appointment.



The problem is your husband is insuring your daughter. If you don't want that issue, then HE does not insure her. YOU do.

OG, I understand why you are saying the bolded, but for most families that is simply not economically feasible. First, you are assuming that mom's employer offer insurance, which is not necessarily the case.

Employer's family plans charge the same rate for 1 child or 6 children. (most of the time) If her husband is picking up insurance for his children from a former relationship perhaps, and any mutual children, it probably costs nothing extra to have OP's daughter on his insurance. However if mom's employer offers insurance, it would likely cost a couple of hundred a month to include the child on hers.

 

[wileybunch]

Snipes like that are immature. But if your daughter is budding most likely she has entered early puberty. She needs an appointment.

Aw, come on. Dad tells the child she's fat and ugly like her mother. OP's quip was clever and a way of making humor out of an unfortunate situation, in any event.

 

[NC Mom in Indy]

Then I don't know what to tell you. I still think you should make a copy of the card, redact your step-children's info, and give it to dad. If he doesn't use it, he doesn't use it. But you did what you could to provide him with the information.

And if he is not following the court order, file for contempt. There's not much else you can do.

Do you ever talk to your daughter about when she goes to the doctor? Does she not know her doctor's name? I'm not saying that you should "pump" your child for information or put her in the middle of this, but through casual conversation with her, you could find out the name of her doctor.

My daughter does not know the name of her doctor. He takes her to a clinic where she sees different doctors.

I don't pump her for info, but I asked her how she liked the dentist. If it was a male or female. Normal conversational questions.

Snipes like that are immature. But if your daughter is budding most likely she has entered early puberty. She needs an appointment.



The problem is your husband is insuring your daughter. If you don't want that issue, then HE does not insure her. YOU do.

OG, I understand why you are saying the bolded, but for most families that is simply not economically feasible. First, you are assuming that mom's employer offer insurance, which is not necessarily the case.

Employer's family plans charge the same rate for 1 child or 6 children. (most of the time) If her husband is picking up insurance for his children from a former relationship perhaps, and any mutual children, it probably costs nothing extra to have OP's daughter on his insurance. However if mom's employer offers insurance, it would likely cost a couple of hundred a month to include the child on hers.

My husband has a job that includes all benefits. I would have to insure myself and then my daughter through my employment. It would cost a min. $500 per month.

The deductable on her dad's insurance and the copays all year are about equal to this.

Aw, come on. Dad tells the child she's fat and ugly like her mother. OP's quip was clever and a way of making humor out of an unfortunate situation, in any event.

Thanks! If I don't laugh about some of it on my own I would never make it. I'm very confident that I am neither fat nor ugly. My daughter is very beautiful. It kills me to see her fahter tear her apart like that. It is emotional abuse. She knows that I am not fat, but she hears the words coming from his mouth, and it hurts her. It makes her wonder.

Our daughter used to be this outgoing bubbly bright little girl who would light up a room anymore by walking into it. Now she is obnoxious, had a bad odor, unwashed hair, dirty clothes, and I see the kids move away from her when she tries to talk to them. The sparkle is gone from her eyes. They are flat and sad.

My dauhgter is a talented dancer. She is tall for her age, and began ballet at age 3. She loves ballet, tap, and jazz. Her father will not allow her to dance.

My daughter sees her dad hit his wife. She said that her stepmom has bruises on her arms.

My daughter is only 9. She needs to be removed from their home because of the violence and the neglect. I am worried that she will step in to save her stepmom and get hurt badly.

I will file contempt againt my ex for not cooperating and following the CO. Then I will file for custody. I am going to speak to the Social Worker again to see if she has talked to my daughter.