Legal Strangers, Step-parents & Grandparents

[HayIsForHorses]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I hear the term "legal stranger" used quite a bit on this site. I have two questions:

1) Can step or grandparents be used as a substitute for transportation of a child to and from visitation when the visitation order states that I am responsible for transportation to and from? How strict are the courts about this? I'm assuming that it only matters if one parent makes a stink about it.

2) If i have a right of first refusal order in place, and choose to go out after my child is in bed (with a sitter of family member of course) would I have to call my ex and let her pick up our son after he's already in bed?

Thanks for your help.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I hear the term "legal stranger" used quite a bit on this site. I have two questions:

1) Can step or grandparents be used as a substitute for transportation of a child to and from visitation when the visitation order states that I am responsible for transportation to and from? How strict are the courts about this? I'm assuming that it only matters if one parent makes a stink about it.

2) If i have a right of first refusal order in place, and choose to go out after my child is in bed (with a sitter of family member of course) would I have to call my ex and let her pick up our son after he's already in bed?

Thanks for your help.

Exact wording of transportation please. And exact wording for right of first refusal as well.

 

[HayIsForHorses]

Exact wording of transportation please. And exact wording for right of first refusal as well.

I don't have the order with me, but it says that I am responsible for transportation to and from. I am curious if there are ever modifications made adding step-parents or grandparents as acceptable "chaperones" for the child.

There isn't a right of first refusal set up yet but my ex has mentioned it, stating if I am away for more than 4 hours, she must be called to take the child. I just wanted to know how they work if one should be put in place.

 

[Ohiogal]

I don't have the order with me, but it says that I am responsible for transportation to and from. I am curious if there are ever modifications made adding step-parents or grandparents as acceptable "chaperones" for the child.

There isn't a right of first refusal set up yet but my ex has mentioned it, stating if I am away for more than 4 hours, she must be called to take the child. I just wanted to know how they work if one should be put in place.

WIthout the wording we cannot tell you. They can be written a dozen different ways. And sometimes transportation clauses allow other people to do the traveling. SPECIFIC wording from your order if you want an answer that will help you.

 

[HayIsForHorses]

WIthout the wording we cannot tell you. They can be written a dozen different ways. And sometimes transportation clauses allow other people to do the traveling. SPECIFIC wording from your order if you want an answer that will help you.

"Transportation for visitation:
Transportation to the visits will be provided by [me]
Transportation from the visits will be provided by [me]"

There is no info described regarding drop off addresses or times.

As far as the ROFR, I know she is looking at making it kick in when the child is not with me for anything over 4 hours. Is this standard?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

ROFR goes BOTH ways.

 

[Ohiogal]

"Transportation for visitation:
Transportation to the visits will be provided by [me]
Transportation from the visits will be provided by [me]"

There is no info described regarding drop off addresses or times.

As far as the ROFR, I know she is looking at making it kick in when the child is not with me for anything over 4 hours. Is this standard?

You are to provide transportation. You might be able to force the issue to have it clarified that sending grandma or stepmom is you providing the transportation because mom doesn't have to do anything.

 

[HayIsForHorses]

ROFR goes BOTH ways.

I understand that it works both ways. I'm not the one initiating it but am curious if 4 hours is a standard ROFR time frame. I guess I don't understand why it is needed when it would probably apply only when I go out after the child is asleep, and left with a relative. I guess I don't quite understand the purpose of the ROFR and I'm not sure if our situation is one that necessitates an order like this.

Thanks for your help.

 

[HayIsForHorses]

You are to provide transportation. You might be able to force the issue to have it clarified that sending grandma or stepmom is you providing the transportation because mom doesn't have to do anything.

Can she just claim that the others are "Legal Strangers" and are not a party in the visitation? This is where I get confused. If the answer is yes, then the term "Legal Strangers" should really be "Legal Strangers" unless otherwise decided by the court trivializing the term all together.

 

[wileybunch]

"Transportation for visitation:
Transportation to the visits will be provided by [me]
Transportation from the visits will be provided by [me]"

There is no info described regarding drop off addresses or times.

As far as the ROFR, I know she is looking at making it kick in when the child is not with me for anything over 4 hours. Is this standard?

There is no standard. Some people don't have a ROFR at all and the ones that do vary for how many hours before it kicks in (ie. I don't have one in my parenting plan, but DH has one in his and it applies when a parent will be away from the child overnight). Does your order have a ROFR in it or not? If it doesn't, then you don't have one.

 

[HayIsForHorses]

There is no standard. Some people don't have a ROFR at all and the ones that do vary for how many hours before it kicks in (ie. I don't have one in my parenting plan, but DH has one in his and it applies when a parent will be away from the child overnight). Does your order have a ROFR in it or not? If it doesn't, then you don't have one.

I understand.

We don't have one in place currently. My ex is trying to add it now. 4 hours just seems a little ridiculous to me. Overnight makes more sense.

Thanks!