Little lost on what is to happen next

[CarrieWest]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas (San Antonio)

Let me start here. I had my daughter 3 years ago and at that time did not know who the father was. I had a good idea but did not know for sure. I called him a few times to come see her but when I found out that he wanted to bring his wife and his step children I told him not to bother that if he wanted to see her he needed to come alone. Over the latter part of the last two years I offered him a few more times and he said he did not know for sure if she was his and wanted a paternity test done and after that I never pushed the issue. To make this short last year he filed for a paternity test with the attorney generals office. We toke the test and the next month came back for the results, he in fact was her father(March 08). My ex has an attorney as well as I do but things are getting alittle out of hand. With the most recent being a closed CPS case against him and his wife but they have to do court ordered services ex...Anger Mgmt, therapy, protective parenting, Physic Evalation and still have custody of all of her three children in their home, when I found out about this case with CPS I did not let my daughter go to the visits. (which at this time where temp orders for 2,4,5th weekends and weekends extended by a holiday) One of these visits I was even contact by a deputy from the San Marcos police dept where visits were to pick up and drop off and she threatned to arrest me. Since this we went to court and my ex was given supervised visits once a week @ the CPS office in Austin for an hour, and we both were to particapate in a social study split 50/50. ( I have to drive all the way from San Antonio and sit and wait) My questions are as follows

1. Do I have a good chance of getting full custody of our daughter?
2. Back child support is that based off of how much he made during those 2 years? (It is currently set @ minimum wage because he is a full time student, and he is currently up to date)
3. How can him and his wife still have custody of her children if they are ordered to particapte in svcs?
4. Is there a good chance that he will get standard visits when this is said and done? (No final hearing set untill social study is complete. Him and his wife and kids have done theres but I have yet to do mine. My ex has had 7 supervised visits so far)
5. Even though they have not mentioned the contempt of court charges can they do so @ the final hearing?
6. We are also ordered to particapate in a mediation but it has been put on hold till right before final hearing. If we do not come to an agreement (as I am sticking to me having full custody and he is sticking to he wants standard visits with holidays) What happens then? (as this is being set for a trial jury)

I am a bit lost and this whole thing has dragged out for almost a year and it is beging to stress me. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

 

[CarrieWest]

the gentleman that does the study has not had an opening yet as he does the social studies on Saturdays and it happens to be A day I have to go to work. Everyone has to be there for the study including my husband, my daughter and my step son. (per the instructions from the gentlemen doing the study) His mother has not let him come over for my husbands weekend as she says this is no concern of her sons because she does not want him involved in something that does not concern him. (awhole nother story there)

A final court hearing will not be set untill it is done and completed and I have been told this process can take 30 days to complete the social study.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas (San Antonio)

Let me start here. I had my daughter 3 years ago and at that time did not know who the father was. I had a good idea but did not know for sure. I called him a few times to come see her but when I found out that he wanted to bring his wife and his step children I told him not to bother that if he wanted to see her he needed to come alone. Over the latter part of the last two years I offered him a few more times and he said he did not know for sure if she was his and wanted a paternity test done and after that I never pushed the issue. To make this short last year he filed for a paternity test with the attorney generals office. We toke the test and the next month came back for the results, he in fact was her father(March 08). My ex has an attorney as well as I do but things are getting alittle out of hand. With the most recent being a closed CPS case against him and his wife but they have to do court ordered services ex...Anger Mgmt, therapy, protective parenting, Physic Evalation and still have custody of all of her three children in their home, when I found out about this case with CPS I did not let my daughter go to the visits. (which at this time where temp orders for 2,4,5th weekends and weekends extended by a holiday) One of these visits I was even contact by a deputy from the San Marcos police dept where visits were to pick up and drop off and she threatned to arrest me. Since this we went to court and my ex was given supervised visits once a week @ the CPS office in Austin for an hour, and we both were to particapate in a social study split 50/50. ( I have to drive all the way from San Antonio and sit and wait) My questions are as follows

1. Do I have a good chance of getting full custody of our daughter?
2. Back child support is that based off of how much he made during those 2 years? (It is currently set @ minimum wage because he is a full time student, and he is currently up to date)
3. How can him and his wife still have custody of her children if they are ordered to particapte in svcs?
4. Is there a good chance that he will get standard visits when this is said and done? (No final hearing set untill social study is complete. Him and his wife and kids have done theres but I have yet to do mine. My ex has had 7 supervised visits so far)
5. Even though they have not mentioned the contempt of court charges can they do so @ the final hearing?
6. We are also ordered to particapate in a mediation but it has been put on hold till right before final hearing. If we do not come to an agreement (as I am sticking to me having full custody and he is sticking to he wants standard visits with holidays) What happens then? (as this is being set for a trial jury)

I am a bit lost and this whole thing has dragged out for almost a year and it is beging to stress me. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

You have a decent shot at getting full custody but I don't think that you understand what that means. Full custody would not stop a non-custodial parent from receiving standard visitation.

It is my understanding that TX does tend to award a couple of years of back support.

They still have custody of their children because CPS determined that there were problems in the home sufficient to warrant the family having services, but not sufficient enough to warrant removing the children from the home.

I suspect that since they put dad on supervised visitation, that you are not going to be held in contempt.

Since they have dad on supervised visitation its not very likely that they are going to give him standard visitation any time soon, but its likely to happen eventually, unless he and his wife fail in complying with CPS and get the other children removed from their home.

 

[CarrieWest]

It is my understanding they have everything done except anger mgmt they are still doing it but have not gotten a certificate for being done.

 

[CarrieWest]

when I say full custody I do not want him to have any visits with her at all. He was not there for the first two years and then this last year because of court battles he has had 5 overnight weekends and 7 supervised visits. I would much rather him sighn over his rights and I will give up asking for child support. My daughter does not have a relationship with him she calls him daddy but I think she does that because his step kids call him daddy. I would much rather not deal with him or his family.

 

[Ohiogal]

when I say full custody I do not want him to have any visits with her at all. He was not there for the first two years and then this last year because of court battles he has had 5 overnight weekends and 7 supervised visits. I would much rather him sighn over his rights and I will give up asking for child support. My daughter does not have a relationship with him she calls him daddy but I think she does that because his step kids call him daddy. I would much rather not deal with him or his family.

TOUGH. He is the child's father and he has a right to be involved in his child's life. YOU do not get to decide he gets no visits. You are out of line quite frankly.

 

[wileybunch]

Ditto OG's post. You can't decide to cut Dad out. I realize that it's embarrassing sometimes to realize the shallow pond we've fished in and had sex with, but once a child results, we're kinda stuck with our choices unless there are some extreme circumstances. If you endeavor to do things to cut Dad out and he has the cajones to fight it, you could end up losing custody so you need to remove yourself and your wishes out of the picture and let the contributor of 50% of your DD's DNA have a chance at being her parent on the very broad spectrum of parenting the court would deem acceptable.

Also, another poster from TX just a few days ago was apparently found in contempt, made to return her child to the school she removed her from, and forced to give make up time (whether she has to pay sanctions or attorney's fees is still TBD) even though the Dad was also given supervised visitation based on Mom's claims so just because Dad here was given supervised visitation is no assurance that you will not be found in contempt.

 

[LdiJ]

Ditto OG's post. You can't decide to cut Dad out. I realize that it's embarrassing sometimes to realize the shallow pond we've fished in and had sex with, but once a child results, we're kinda stuck with our choices unless there are some extreme circumstances. If you endeavor to do things to cut Dad out and he has the cajones to fight it, you could end up losing custody so you need to remove yourself and your wishes out of the picture and let the contributor of 50% of your DD's DNA have a chance at being her parent on the very broad spectrum of parenting the court would deem acceptable.

Also, another poster from TX just a few days ago was apparently found in contempt, made to return her child to the school she removed her from, and forced to give make up time (whether she has to pay sanctions or attorney's fees is still TBD) even though the Dad was also given supervised visitation based on Mom's claims so just because Dad here was given supervised visitation is no assurance that you will not be found in contempt.

While I agree that mom is being completely unrealistic about her wishes and more than a bit naive about how things works, I do not believe that we can compare this case to the other TX case.

In this instance CPS is involved and has found dad and stepmom in need of services, and determined that dad's visitation needed to take place at a supervision center.

Also, the other TX was not specifically found to be in contempt. She was ordered to return the child to the original school.

 

[Ohiogal]

While I agree that mom is being completely unrealistic about her wishes and more than a bit naive about how things works, I do not believe that we can compare this case to the other TX case.

In this instance CPS is involved and has found dad and stepmom in need of services, and determined that dad's visitation needed to take place at a supervision center.

Also, the other TX was not specifically found to be in contempt. She was ordered to return the child to the original school.

THE BOLDED IS INCORRECT!

With the most recent being a closed CPS case against him and his wife but they have to do court ordered services ex...Anger Mgmt, therapy, protective parenting, Physic Evalation and still have custody of all of her three children in their home, when I found out about this case with CPS I did not let my daughter go to the visits. (which at this time where temp orders for 2,4,5th weekends and weekends extended by a holiday)

The case is closed with CPS. The children were allowed to remain in the home.
The court ordered supervised visits:

Since this we went to court and my ex was given supervised visits once a week @ the CPS office in Austin for an hour, and we both were to particapate in a social study split 50/50.

And that could be due to the fact that paternity was established in March 2008 and the child is only three. CPS did not determine that dad needed supervised visits.

Mom is being unrealistic. And here is why:

Let me start here. I had my daughter 3 years ago and at that time did not know who the father was.

How many possible fathers were there?

I had a good idea but did not know for sure. I called him a few times to come see her but when I found out that he wanted to bring his wife and his step children I told him not to bother that if he wanted to see her he needed to come alone.

Why did you want him to come alone? Was he married when you made him a daddy?

Over the latter part of the last two years I offered him a few more times and he said he did not know for sure if she was his and wanted a paternity test done and after that I never pushed the issue.

Why didn't you establish paternity before now?

To make this short last year he filed for a paternity test with the attorney generals office. We toke the test and the next month came back for the results, he in fact was her father(March 08).

Okay.

My ex has an attorney as well as I do but things are getting alittle out of hand. With the most recent being a closed CPS case against him and his wife but they have to do court ordered services ex...Anger Mgmt, therapy, protective parenting, Physic Evalation and still have custody of all of her three children in their home, when I found out about this case with CPS I did not let my daughter go to the visits. (which at this time where temp orders for 2,4,5th weekends and weekends extended by a holiday)

So you violated the temp orders.

One of these visits I was even contact by a deputy from the San Marcos police dept where visits were to pick up and drop off and she threatned to arrest me. Since this we went to court and my ex was given supervised visits once a week @ the CPS office in Austin for an hour, and we both were to particapate in a social study split 50/50.

Okay.

( I have to drive all the way from San Antonio and sit and wait) My questions are as follows

1. Do I have a good chance of getting full custody of our daughter?

Not necessarily. YOu have shown you will not obey a court order when you don't want to and you also have delayed getting a social study.

2. Back child support is that based off of how much he made during those 2 years? (It is currently set @ minimum wage because he is a full time student, and he is currently up to date)

Why do you think you will get back child support/ That is NOT a guarantee.

3. How can him and his wife still have custody of her children if they are ordered to particapte in svcs?

That is NONE of your business but quite frankly apparently the children are not in danger.

4. Is there a good chance that he will get standard visits when this is said and done? (No final hearing set untill social study is complete. Him and his wife and kids have done theres but I have yet to do mine. My ex has had 7 supervised visits so far)

Look for standard visits to start sooner if you keep delaying.

5. Even though they have not mentioned the contempt of court charges can they do so @ the final hearing?

Yep.

6. We are also ordered to particapate in a mediation but it has been put on hold till right before final hearing. If we do not come to an agreement (as I am sticking to me having full custody and he is sticking to he wants standard visits with holidays) What happens then? (as this is being set for a trial jury)

YOu will lose. He should get standard visitation with holidays.

I am a bit lost and this whole thing has dragged out for almost a year and it is beging to stress me.

Then grow up and start following court orders.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

You are welcome.

 

[Ohiogal]

the gentleman that does the study has not had an opening yet as he does the social studies on Saturdays and it happens to be A day I have to go to work. Everyone has to be there for the study including my husband, my daughter and my step son. (per the instructions from the gentlemen doing the study) His mother has not let him come over for my husbands weekend as she says this is no concern of her sons because she does not want him involved in something that does not concern him. (awhole nother story there)

A final court hearing will not be set untill it is done and completed and I have been told this process can take 30 days to complete the social study.

You are stalling quite frankly. Your husband could enforce his court ordered visitation to have your step son there. End of story. You are ridiculous and if you keep this up and dad has developed good reports from the visitation center, things will progress and down the road you will be one seeking visitation and dad having custody. Do you understand? You are playing a game. You are stalling because dad only has supervised visits and he will get standard visitation most likely at the final hearing.

Keep stalling and you will face LOSING custody.

 

[wileybunch]

Also, the other TX was not specifically found to be in contempt. She was ordered to return the child to the original school.

OP hasn't seen if the judge has specifically found her in contempt. Remember, she was ill advised by her attorney that her withholding visitation was OK. Not only did she have to return her DD to school, but she was also ordered to give make up time, as I said in my previous post. Parties don't get make up time for no reason, they get it b/c the judge believes they denied visitation. Whether the judge decides to call it contempt this time or not remains to be seen as that party was ill advised by her attorney in the first place and is still coming to grasp with what happened when she went to court last week and got smacked. She has not seen the judge's order yet and attorney's fees were put off until their next court date. It's really a matter of semantics at this point whether she is actually found in contempt if she's forced to remedy things (ie. return to school, make up time, potentially paying attorney's fees) and the judge has that record now to weigh in future appearances before him.