Grandparents going against my will

[Youngmom]

Ok thank you!

 

[nextwife]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia/ California

Ok I just want a quick answer if possible. My daughter is currently visiting my parents in CA and me and my daughter's father are currently going through a custody battle. I have full custody right now and he is not on the birth certificate yet. No visitation has been established. I have explained to my parents that I do not want my daughter going over to his place unsupervised and they are not listening. Is there any legal action I can take that they would have to abide by?

Thanks.

What is the unfitness on Dad's part that would require supervised visitation?

 

[CJane]

What is the unfitness on Dad's part that would require supervised visitation?

Perhaps the fact that he has no legal claim whatsoever to this child as he as failed and refused to attempt to establish paternity/custody/support for nearly 5 years?

 

[CJane]

But really how would she stop her parents. They have been the one providing food, shelter, and needs to this child for months now and are going to have to continue to provide for this child. All through no fault of their own but because mom . Plus she is miles and miles away from her child. I wonder how often during all this she has seen her child.

I was addressing ONLY nextwife's question re: the fitness of the father. As of today, he is NOT this child's father.

I'm fairly certain OP is NOT handling any of this properly - and I sort of wonder how 'young' she is - because she's clearly not thinking through anything thoroughly or handling things in an adult manner.

In fact, since OP is thinking she can file all of this by mail and the judge will rule on it w/out her present and 'get it all dismissed', it's possible she's gonna miss the boat completely, Dad will get a default judgment and she'll be trying to figure out how to get custody back from Dad.

But none of that changes the LEGAL FACT that this child DOES NOT HAVE A FATHER.

 

[wileybunch]

Yes my friend and her parents...they are pretty much like her grandparents. The only thing I am concerned about is that my daughter has been through alot in the last few months and I dont want her to go through another big change expecially if I cannot be there to explain things to her. I also dont think that will look good to the courts if this does go that far.

Is there anything else I can do?

So you don't want your DD living with people that you trust more ... and you're concerned how your actions will look to the judge. Were you looking for some sort of restraining order on your parents to restrict their movement with the child? I'm not sure what else you think the courts should do when you entrusted your child to your parents of your own free will in the first place. Legally, you can move to CA and have your DD live with you.

Also, a couple of us asked in your previous thread, but you didn't answer ....

What kind of contact has Dad had during the time child has been in CA this time and in any previous times?

 

[CJane]

So you don't want your DD living with people that you trust more ... and you're concerned how your actions will look to the judge. Were you looking for some sort of restraining order on your parents to restrict their movement with the child? I'm not sure what else you think the courts should do when you entrusted your child to your parents of your own free will in the first place. Legally, you can move to CA and have your DD live with you.

Also, a couple of us asked in your previous thread, but you didn't answer ....

What kind of contact has Dad had during the time child has been in CA this time and in any previous times?

Well, she COULD file for a restraining order, but she'd be giving CA jurisdiction.

 

[LdiJ]

Well, she COULD file for a restraining order, but she'd be giving CA jurisdiction.

Somehow I think that this is all about the grandparents wanting to keep the children in CA...and that the grandparents are in league with dad.

 

[CJane]

Somehow I think that this is all about the grandparents wanting to keep the children in CA...and that the grandparents are in league with dad.

I agree. I'm thinking that if I'd been 'watching' my grandchild for THREE MONTHS and the only time Mom showed an interest in picking her up was when Dad filed for custody, I'd be 'in league' with him too.

I could be WAY wrong about this Mom, but it doesn't seem to me that she'd be at all interested in being with her child if Dad hadn't filed.

 

[nextwife]

I agree. I'm thinking that if I'd been 'watching' my grandchild for THREE MONTHS and the only time Mom showed an interest in picking her up was when Dad filed for custody, I'd be 'in league' with him too.

I could be WAY wrong about this Mom, but it doesn't seem to me that she'd be at all interested in being with her child if Dad hadn't filed.

You mean it isn't the Grandparents JOB to spend 24/7 caring for HER child, while she's off doing what she chose to do, rather than sharing caregiving with the man whom mom told them was the father? I'm shocked that one would think the grandparents have any right to seek a break from caregiving a child they did not give birth to! How dare they!

Frankly, I think it's a lot of CHUTZPAH on Mom's part to second guess her parents from hundreds of miles away while she's living her own life and her parents are raising the child SHE chose to have. This is NOT THEIR child. They did their job, they raised THEIR child. Betcha she's not even paying them adequate child support to provide for HER child..

 

[haiku]

I am a little confused as to how I could possibly not be in the same state as my own child if I was the one with the current custody.

 

[LdiJ]

I am a little confused as to how I could possibly not be in the same state as my own child if I was the one with the current custody.

She was allowing her children to temporarily live with the grandparents because she was having some financial problems...and the grandparents talked her into that to some extent.

My guess is that now that the children have been with the grandparents for 3months that they don't want the kids to leave CA...that they are hoping that dad will either leave the children with them or allow them to see the children often if he gets custody.

This seemed to all start up when mom indicated that she was ready for the children to come home.

 

[CourtClerk]

Perhaps the fact that he has no legal claim whatsoever to this child as he as failed and refused to attempt to establish paternity/custody/support for nearly 5 years?

To be quite honest, this won't be held against him not one iota. If there is no support order, there is no legal obligation to support. Nothing in the law says he HAS to establish parentage immediately upon the child's birth or even timely after the child's birth. Heck, I've never even heard a judge ASK why it has taken so long to establish parentage. What matters is that they are there now. Men who have stepped up 10 years later have gotten at least joint custody (legal and sometimes physical) of the child under certain circumstances. CA is very forgiving....

 

[CourtClerk]

Legally, all you can do is have your daughter stay with someone different because there isn't a court order that says Gma, Gpa - keep child away from this person.

And if she does that just to keep "dad" away from "his child," when dad has been actively forming a relationship with this child, then dad is going back into court to tell the judge and potentially, baby is going to be living with dad, or judge is going to ORDER baby to live with gparents.

Really, let's not piss of the judges. They aren't THAT forgiving.

 

[wileybunch]

I agree something's fishy and if there's more to this story, OP needs to be brutally honest if she wants accurate advice regarding such an important matter.

 

[VeronicaLodge]

did you marry your fiance last june? did you lose your job due to that "fight" you got in with that girl? just curious.