Use of visitation?

[reportermom]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA.

In this thread,
https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/what-consequences-could-i-face-452876.html

the comment has been made that, "But your parenting time (visitation) is not transferrable. Not even to Grandma, unless Dad agrees." (by Silverplum)

Doesn't this go against the rule that one party can not tell the other party what to do with their time with the children?

I had come to believe that even if the NCP(or CP) picked up the kids and immediately dropped them off to the Grandparents and spent no time with them at all, that would be within their right as a parent. That the parent has a right to pick up the child and do what they see fit, even if it is dropping off the child at a relative's house every time there is a visit scheduled.

Could someone please explain that to me?

Thanks!!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA.

In this thread,
https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/what-consequences-could-i-face-452876.html

the comment has been made that, "But your parenting time (visitation) is not transferrable. Not even to Grandma, unless Dad agrees." (by Silverplum)

Doesn't this go against the rule that one party can not tell the other party what to do with their time with the children?

I had come to believe that even if the NCP(or CP) picked up the kids and immediately dropped them off to the Grandparents and spent no time with them at all, that would be within their right as a parent. That the parent has a right to pick up the child and do what they see fit, even if it is dropping off the child at a relative's house every time there is a visit scheduled.

Could someone please explain that to me?

Thanks!!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

That is allowed (the bolded) however if the NCP cannot be around at all and cannot even pick up the children and/or drop them off per the court order, they cannot decide that someone else gets to exercise their time completely.

For instance, NCP is deployed to IRaq. While they are deployed their new spouse or SO or parents do not get to exercise their court appointed visitation.

 

[LdiJ]

That is allowed (the bolded) however if the NCP cannot be around at all and cannot even pick up the children and/or drop them off per the court order, they cannot decide that someone else gets to exercise their time completely.

For instance, NCP is deployed to IRaq. While they are deployed their new spouse or SO or parents do not get to exercise their court appointed visitation.

The same applies if the ncp lives on the west coast, and the cp and kids and paternal grandparents live on the east coast. The paternal grandparents cannot exercise the ncp's time.

However, if the ncp gets 8 weeks of summer, and sends the kids back to the east coast a week early so that they can spend a week with the paternal grandparents, that's absolutely ok.

The whole point is that extended family are supposed to see the children on their own child's time. However that doesn't mean that they get to become the ncp by default, if the ncp will not or cannot see the children.

Yet at the same time, if the ncp picks up and drops off, the ncp controls what happens during his/her "time".

I suspect that if an ncp had 8 weeks of every summer, and picked the children up and dropped them off an hour later, with the grandparents, for the whole 8 weeks...that the CP would have some grounds to modify visitation. However that would be an unusual situation.

 

[Ohiogal]

The same applies if the ncp lives on the west coast, and the cp and kids and paternal grandparents live on the east coast. The paternal grandparents cannot exercise the ncp's time.

However, if the ncp gets 8 weeks of summer, and sends the kids back to the east coast a week early so that they can spend a week with the paternal grandparents, that's absolutely ok.

The whole point is that extended family are supposed to see the children on their own child's time. However that doesn't mean that they get to become the ncp by default, if the ncp will not or cannot see the children.

Yet at the same time, if the ncp picks up and drops off, the ncp controls what happens during his/her "time".

I suspect that if an ncp had 8 weeks of every summer, and picked the children up and dropped them off an hour later, with the grandparents, for the whole 8 weeks...that the CP would have some grounds to modify visitation. However that would be an unusual situation.

Agree wholeheartedly. But the NCP dropping the children off on some weekends with the GPs or other family members is fine.

 

[LdiJ]

Agree wholeheartedly. But the NCP dropping the children off on some weekends with the GPs or other family members is fine.

I also agree wholeheartedly.

 

[reportermom]

Thanks for the clarifications.
So just to make sure that I understand, The parent picking the kids up gets to decide where they go and what they do, no one can step in and do it for them. I got that part.

What if there is a PFA, or no contact order, as in my situation? The paternal grandparents do all of the picking up and dropping off for NCP because of the PFA. We had to go back into court because he was using the pick-ups and drop-offs to intimidate me and the only acceptable solution we could get to was his parents do exchanges.

If NCP's parents do picking up and dropping off, and Little one says she doesn't see her Daddy at all, is that still okay? Little one was told by her Dad that she would have to spend lots of his weekends with Grandma and Grandpa because he already has plans for those weekends(even though this is the schedule he just petitioned for and got, a reduction to every other weekend)

Is it considered a violation of the order if they never take Little one to him? and he never sees her? If it is how should I handle it? Just let it go or bring it up when we go to set the summer schedule? The conciliator we had refused to set the summer schedule because NCP was asking about a drawn out Thursday to Tuesday with all types of odd days and times in the middle of the day and I don't know my schedule for the summer yet because I graduate school in May. She just put summer off until the end of May. (There is lots to the story, but it has nothing to do with this question.)

THanks for your help!

 

[Ohiogal]

You need a GAL appointed.