Whatever help i can get

[tazball]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

I just want to start out by saying there has been no previous custody matter in court nor has there me and my sons mother been married. Now I am bringing my sons mother to court to get custody and related issues established due to her deciding to move from Massachusetts. In which she decided to tell me a month after she moved.

This is not the fist time she had done this. Last time it was she had moved up to Vermont(claiming it was cos her mother was sick and needed her help). An so you know why I did not put up a fight about it then(once I figured it was a lie) was that I was going up to Vermont on a regular basis to see my son so it was no big deal to me. Well I was till it was to late(after 6 months were up). Things had changed she moved to Florida to go marry some guy. An with that she disappeared. Not only leaving me with no way to contact him but also not contacting me. I made many attempts to find him but with limited finances everything I tried just ended up in dead ends.


So in September of 07 I finally get response from my sons mother(after 4 years of being gone) stating her plans of moving back to Massachusetts in which she did in January of 08. An after her moving back to MA I endured listening to how my son has had so many people thrown at him and that she was not going to throw me at him as well (this is how she worded it). So finally in April I had started to rebuild my relationship with my son. Started off a few hours on weekends to eventually taking him over night every other weekend.

Things were going good till last month. When I tried to call her I get a message saying the phone is no longer accepting incoming calls. So I figured she had gone over on her minutes or something like that. an after getting no response to any messages I tried to send her online I finally get a response when I say I was going to stop by the house to see what is going on. which I get a response to call her a a new number. I call and leads us up to now.

Some of my biggest concerns are that when he moved up here from Florida he has already way behind in school(is Florida slower then MA in education?). There was talk about him possibly needing special help in some areas. An i would like to make sure he gets tested for dyslexia which runs in my family. Should I go talk to the teacher he had in MA to make sure i know of all there educational concerns on him?

Then there is that she is pulling him in and out of my life at her will. Also I got big concerns about her disappearing with no trace again.

What are my chances of getting custody of my son?

Whats the chances she would be forced to move back/bring him back to MA?

What are the chances the court will let her continue to live in Florida with my son?

What if she does not even show up to the court date?

I would keep going but I am not writing a book(yet). Any input is appreciated. I would rater be torn apart here then by the judge.

 

[stealth2]

So, since you've never been to court, is it safe to assume that you've never had paternity *legally* established?

 

[LdiJ]

What are my chances of getting custody of my son?

Hard to say. The only justification for custody would be the fact that she moved. Since she lived in FL for 4 years prior to moving to MA for one year, and since you had no court orders established, I don't think its guaranteed at all.

Whats the chances she would be forced to move back/bring him back to MA?

See above

What are the chances the court will let her continue to live in Florida with my son?

See above

What if she does not even show up to the court date?

You could possibly win by default. Assuming that you could prove proper service.

I would keep going but I am not writing a book(yet). Any input is appreciated. I would rater be torn apart here then by the judge.

Your son is old enough that he has been in school for at least a year or two and never once in that time did you take things to court to establish anything legally. That's not going to help you.

In addition, he has lived his entire life with his mother, and has only spent an overnight with you every other weekend for a relatively short amount of time. Therefore a judge would have to take that into consideration.

 

[tazball]

well i would like to start by saying i know there is no guarantees on anything. i am going to go in with asking for the most but would be happy with at least making sure she can not totally rip him out of my life again.

so with that said.... there was one court date that i had attended that the state was going to come after me for child support and health insurance due to the aid she was getting from the state back in 2003. it ended up only being for health insurance due to the lack of cooperation she was giving the state(which she lost the aid she was getting because of). An due to not having a job that had health insurance I left on the understanding I would get him health insurance as soon as i had a job that i could do so. Also on that day i remember signing a voluntary acknowledgment of paternity.

An to why i have not taken any legal steps in the past 2 years or the time he has been in school. the first time she emerged after disappearing was due about 2 weeks into his kindergarten year stating she was trying to find a way to move back to Massachusetts. Which i was just happy to know something and since i was getting to finally get some pictures of him i was just being happy to get something. and also since i did not have the funds to be trucking down to Florida i was going to be nice and wait for her to move back to MA.
So once she was back in MA I wanted to make sure that she was in MA long enough that i could get jurisdiction back in MA before i filed anything. An as to why i did not file anything months ago once i could have is because things were going good and i honestly do not feel courts should be used unless it is necessary. And yes now i feel it is totally necessary.

an i do understand the judge will put into consideration that he had lived with her his whole life. but will the judge also be looking at things like that she not only dragged him away from his life in Florida first off. Told me it was cos she was being abused by her husband which yes i cannot prove but if i cannot prove it and she would not state it what good reason does she have? To then let me and my sons relationship build to that he was with me on a regular basis to rip him away from that bringing him back to Florida(back to the same guy she was claiming was abusing her) just because she was mad with someone that lived where she was staying. her words were that she had to get away from there before she killed someone. i have a good feeling it was due to her getting pregnant and someone speaking there mind about it. so would the judge possibly see it as 2 life changing moves that didn't have his best interest in mind? well moving to MA might have been cos i do not have a doubt in my mind her husband at least spanked my son but again cannot prove it.