Peek-A-Boo Daddy Issue

[nythng4mygrl]

Thank you all. Wiley, for the record, I did not delet a post. If you look at the email I posted from Senator's office, underneath it says "have a GREAT day" which is all that was pretty much said.

As for dad being abusive to daughter, he was investigated by OCS and had visitation stricken for a year, then gradually was able to have supervised visits. The stepmom is the one that has been hitting my daughter, which is court ordered, "No hitting of any kind, or corporal punishment" and she clearly violated that order from the email that she sent giving me reasons why my daughter was hit and that she would not tolerate my daughter's behavior. Speaking of emails, she sends the emails on his behalf and says that he asked her to send them and signs her name after each email. He is always in the dark when I bring up the emails, which leads me to believe she is stirring the pot. Whenever we communicated by phone a long time ago, things were fine. The email account that was set up is her full name. Heck, he doesn't even know how to use a computer.

thank you for answering child support question.

 

[CJane]

Can I just say that just because that bill passed - that does NOT mean it passed in the form in which it was posted when it was still a bill. It does NOT mean that all of the changes (the bold/underlined portions) proposed made it into the statute.

The bill we were linked to is the Original Senate Bill we all watched Schoolhouse Rock enough to know that the Original Bill is almost never what the final statute reads like, yes?

This is the final text as signed by the governor.

http://www.legis.state.la.us/billdata/streamdocument.asp?did=504189

YES, a parent MAY be held in contempt for failing to exercise parenting time - the 'punishment' would be:

Counseling costs if required
Reimbursement of child care costs incurred due to the failure to exercise visitation
The reimbursement of any ACTUAL EXPENDITURES
Attorney fees.

BFD. Nowhere does it say "Greatly reduced parenting time" or "A new reintroduction period for a nearly tween child".

 

[wileybunch]

Wiley, for the record, I did not delet a post. If you look at the email I posted from Senator's office, underneath it says "have a GREAT day" which is all that was pretty much said.

Whoops, found it. That's not all that was said:

Julie Quinn, and maybe I will look to them for further answers. They were much nicer and more helpful. It is sad that you are all so worked up to prove that you are always right, and never imperfect, then you get cokky when someone out of the legal system digs deeper, and ended up right the whole time.

As for dad being abusive to daughter, he was investigated by OCS and had visitation stricken for a year, then gradually was able to have supervised visits.

OK, but that was in the past and so not a part of the current situation why you would have any grounds to restrict a father from his daughter. That was my point. So what did OCS find at the time and how old was the DD?

The email account that was set up is her full name. Heck, he doesn't even know how to use a computer.

All that is none of your business, really. If she is signing the emails, ignore them. If they aren't signed and they are supposedly from Dad, answer them. It doesn't matter if he pays a monkey to type emails for him, that's not your business. If he doesn't seem to know what's in them, you'll have to find a way to deal with that, but what is there really all that much that goes on via email anyway? Stepmom does sound like she does some turd-ish things (and definitely take up the issue with stepmom spanking if that's going on), but you also need to let some things go and stop trying to control every jot and tittle.

Since CJane posted what the law on NCP not exercising visitation, what exactly are the remedies you're seeking from the ones provided by law?

 

[tazball]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? LA

Dad wanted to terminate his rights 4 months ago, has had no contact with our daughter since, but continued with child support. I denied his request to terminate rights, as I did not believe that to be in the best interest of our daughter.

OK now what I do not understand (unless I am totally off about what him terminating his rights means) wouldn't the father terminating his rights terminate any rights he has for visitation? Not to say you would take any visitation "requested by him" away. But wouldn't it leave things to the control of the mother on how things are done or if there done at all? An wouldn't that solve you problems with dealing with his wife in e mails and him wanting to see the daughter on a whim(having to worry about dropping plans on his weekends due to him deciding he wants to see her) if at all. If the reason has to do with child support(if it actually gives him termination of child support) well remember you cannot win them all.

As I said unless I am wrong about what termination of rights means. I have been known to be wrong before. If I was always right I would not be on here seeking advice.

I would also like to add in writing this it does not mean for these type of action or that I feel these type of actions are right in any sense. It was just I didn't see anyone addressing this issue. Only reason i could think of is cos no one thinks the judge would allow it. But again i could be wrong.

 

[LdiJ]

I am going to throw in my two cents worth.

I think that you should respond to stepmom in the following manner:

Dear Stepmom,

Based on the calendar this weekend is my weekend and we have plans to go out of town.

If dad would like to resume visitation please have him contact me by telephone as I need to discuss some things with him about our daughter.


Then, if dad does contact you discuss the situation with him. Explain to him that dropping in and out of the child's life isn't healthy for the child, and that you won't deny his visitation, but you want him to understand how important consistancy is for the child.

If he is not obeying the court orders regarding child support or anything else, take him to court for contempt.

I also agree with Jbowman that that it was tacky to put her down for proving that the law had gone into effect.

 

[nythng4mygrl]

CJane, I NEVER said that I was going to file a rule for contempt because Dad was not exercising his visitation. YOU ALL ARE PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH!!!!! I said there is a law against a parent not exercising their visitation and I explained that he has not done so in 4 months and that because of the new law I COULD file a rule for contempt. Trust me, he has done his fair share of not obeing court order and I don't need that ONE issue to take him to court. I brought it up ONCE, and other posters were DETERMINED to make fun of me, call me a liar, call BS on me, and what not, so I got the factual information on forwarded it.

As for stepmom, Wiley, it IS my business. She is toying with me, and DAD is ordered to have SOLE contact with me. Stepmom is ordered to HAVE NO CONTACT with me whatsoever. SHe violated the order and should pay consequences.

LdiJ, thank you for your advice. I have taken that road so much, and then dad never calls me. When we go to court, they say I avoided all contact with dad. Last time, I was able to show cell phone records that I called him and he did not call me and they were found in contempt. Stepmom is at it again, and I am over it. I forwarded the email to my attorney and plan on filing for contempt.

I don't have a problem with dad seeing my daughter, but given that he just got out of jail for a drug possession charge (he had to serve 30 days), I highly doubt that a judge would allow sleepovers when he was busted to for dealing out of his own home. There really are extenuating circumstances here.

Tazball, I don't have another male to adopt my daughter, which is a requirement in Louisiana, and I don't know how to explain to my daughter that she won't ever see him again. She wants to see him, she just doesn't want to sleep over.

THanks again all!

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

CJane, I NEVER said that I was going to file a rule for contempt because Dad was not exercising his visitation. YOU ALL ARE PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH!!!!! I said there is a law against a parent not exercising their visitation and I explained that he has not done so in 4 months and that because of the new law I COULD file a rule for contempt....

I, again, beg to differ.

He is in contempt for not drug screening, his wife has contacted me, wife has spanked my daughter ( I have in writing her defense for why she did it, she is lucky to still be walking), he has not been available for any of his court ordered visitation since 1st week of November 2008 (new policy just went into effect in LA about a parent not appearing to exchange child for visitation would be found in contempt), and has not contacted me since 1st week of November regarding his "new job" which is also court ordered. ....

If it was the "other issues" you are filing for contempt on, why did you lump that in there?

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

I don't have a problem with dad seeing my daughter, but given that he just got out of jail for a drug possession charge (he had to serve 30 days), I highly doubt that a judge would allow sleepovers when he was busted to for dealing out of his own home. There really are extenuating circumstances here.

Nice that suddenly there's a new reason, that you never mentioned in the previous 3 pages...

 

[Silverplum]

OK now what I do not understand (unless I am totally off about what him terminating his rights means) wouldn't the father terminating his rights terminate any rights he has for visitation? Not to say you would take any visitation "requested by him" away. But wouldn't it leave things to the control of the mother on how things are done or if there done at all? An wouldn't that solve you problems with dealing with his wife in e mails and him wanting to see the daughter on a whim(having to worry about dropping plans on his weekends due to him deciding he wants to see her) if at all. If the reason has to do with child support(if it actually gives him termination of child support) well remember you cannot win them all.

As I said unless I am wrong about what termination of rights means. I have been known to be wrong before. If I was always right I would not be on here seeking advice.

I would also like to add in writing this it does not mean for these type of action or that I feel these type of actions are right in any sense. It was just I didn't see anyone addressing this issue. Only reason i could think of is cos no one thinks the judge would allow it. But again i could be wrong.

Just.
Stop.

If you don't KNOW, don't post.

If you're here to GET advice, you are not qualified to GIVE advice.

 

[penelope10]

I, again, beg to differ.

If it was the "other issues" you are filing for contempt on, why did you lump that in there?

LOL, cause some of us girlie-girls lump everything together (even if we don't plan on acting out on a particular grievance like missed visitation). It's like--he or she has done this and that, and guess what they even did this, so they better watch out because I can do this and this....

I liked the advice that LD gave on this one. It's not Dad's weekend. Mom should contact Dad and discuss the issue in an adult manner with him. If Dad wnats to see kiddo on his weekend then Mom should comply.

 

[nythng4mygrl]

ProSeDad, I said he is in contempt (in my opinion), not that I was filing. I was just merely stating ALL of the facts. You are preaching to the choir ma friend. You need a hug. As for the charges, I included them in previous posts and did not want to go into detail. If you would read the ENTIRE post, you would see that I wrote there were other issues that I did not wish to discuss on this forum because I knew those answers. I stated in my last post about his sentence, because I was called selfish, controlling, and accused of not wanting to let go of my daughter.

Penelope, I too liked Ldij's advice. That is the road I will attempt to take again. I prefer to communicate through my attorney though, considering the circumstances.

Thanks again.

 

[wileybunch]

As for stepmom, Wiley, it IS my business. She is toying with me, and DAD is ordered to have SOLE contact with me. Stepmom is ordered to HAVE NO CONTACT with me whatsoever. SHe violated the order and should pay consequences.

Settle down, you're getting into drama. You don't need to lecture me on this if you had actually read my post. YOU think you can control what comes from that one account just BECAUSE it has her name on it and that is what I'm saying is not your business. What is your business is if the stepmom is in fact emailing you because she's not supposed to be per your CO, not if you are getting email from your ex (whether he wrote it or not).

To break it down more for you, they can set up a new gmail account in his name and stepmom could still write emails for him and sign his name. You seem to think you can control that and you can't. Heck, if Dad came here looking for advice and was a reasonable guy, we might just pen his emails for him, too. THAT is the level of control you want that I said is none of your business.

Given all the higher priority things you want us to understand are going on, why do you wrap yourself around the axle on THIS point?

 

[wileybunch]

LdiJ, thank you for your advice. I have taken that road so much, and then dad never calls me. When we go to court, they say I avoided all contact with dad. Last time, I was able to show cell phone records that I called him and he did not call me and they were found in contempt. Stepmom is at it again, and I am over it. I forwarded the email to my attorney and plan on filing for contempt.

Well, Ldij tried to help, but you seem to like to keep it churning so have fun with all of that. At least you're doing your part to stimulate the economy.

By the way, if your DD is willing to visit dad, but not overnight, that sure seems like a signal of parental manipulation.

 

[Silverplum]

Given all the higher priority things you want us to understand are going on, why do you wrap yourself around the axle on THIS point?

Generalized rage. Blinded by rage. Filled with rage.

 

[wileybunch]

Generalized rage. Blinded by rage. Filled with rage.

Seems like an alpha thing going on. She could simply ignore all communication the s-mother directs towards her.

Which reminds me, OP, have you or your attorney reminded Dad (in a business like manner) of the court order provision about no contact between his wife and you?