toddler & visits with father she doesn't know

[disturbeddreame]

DD will be 2 in May. she is still nursing and not night weaned. i work 12-4 weekdays. My mother watches her/naps her during this time. She is at a very clingy stage in her life. Much more so than say 6 months ago.

DD's father has never paid child support.

His parents look the other way if they pass us on the street. they said "we'll have to see what colour she turns out to be before we decide if she might be his kid"

DD's father visited for the first year of her life. off and on. when he wasnt hungover on the weekend. he would stroll her and i would explain she doesnt get to know you when you are behind her! He smokes ciggs and weed, and is pretty much just an average live to party type guy. But not mean-spirited or anything.

I've been summoned to court to explain why he doesnt have access to her... I don't know why it took him this long if he truly cares. His name is not on the BC so I guess we'll have to establish paternity first.

Since he has filed for access to her I kinda have some hope, that he wants to start taking responsiblity. I don't know why it took this long, but best to get it sorted out sooner rather than later. And they will order child support/visitation.

And he can't take her home (he lives with his parents) because they are just really nuts. He would never hurt her or anything he's just irresponsible. He has even admitted that they aren't capable of not saying mean things... because they have been saying the same nasty things loudly in public places where I am about me/DD.

So I want a paternity test, so there's no doubts in his families mind about me trying to swindle him for money. and I want a drug test.

But I'm scared about what they will order for visitation.

i'd much rather 3 times a week for a little while. in a nuetral location. like a playground where she can get used to him. than 5 hours on a weekend....
is that something that is up for discussion in cases like this?

because if he picked her up and left with her, screaming for me, that would be cruel.

anyone help me understand what kind of visitation might be ordered for my nursing almost 2 year old.... with a man she doesn't know.

I know that he has the right to it, and so I would like to make it as easy as possible for DD.

 

[mommyof4]

WHAT STATE?

The question was not included to test your 'delete' skills.

Suffice it to say, though, that unless you have proof that the man is a deteriment to his child (once paternity is established, of course) he's going to be allowed to have a relationship with his child. At her age, it will possibly be ordered on a graduated schedule working up (rather quickly) to standard parenting time.

 

[disturbeddreame]

I'm very sorry but there's no reason to be rude.... I don't live in one of the 50 states. I live in the Bahamas, and though I know not all the laws are the same, I was hoping for some general advice. thank you for yours.

 

[LdiJ]

I'm very sorry but there's no reason to be rude.... I don't live in one of the 50 states. I live in the Bahamas, and though I know not all the laws are the same, I was hoping for some general advice. thank you for yours.

We don't know anything about the law in the Bahamas, therefore we honestly cannot be of any help to you.