Plowman Petition

[chipmunk226]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? My custody order is in PA but I currently live 180 miles away in MD.

In 2003 it was agreed that I could move to MD with our son for me to be with my husband, who at the time was in the military. Our son is now 9 years old. Terms were 2 weekends a month at NCP and all of summer vaca, every thanksgiving, every spring and winter break with me providing all transportation. If a weekend had an extra off day or two, then that would also be part of NCP's visitation.

The order was later modified to to allow for set weekends and again for me to have 2 weekends in the PA during the 9 week summer.

In January, we had another hearing to modify with a master. The master had submitted the 'recommendation' that NCP was now to do half the transportation and also that NCP summer visitation was reduced to 2 weeks in July and 2 weeks in August so that our son can have continuity of care as far as therapy and that dad does not discuss custody matters or pressure our child to make a choice of where he wants to live. Father since filed an appeal and we have a court date set for 6/24

In trying to make this brief, I have been to court over a dozen times since 2001. My lawyer affectionately calls my case his "frequent flyer" case. I have orders from ordering NCP not to exposed our highly allergic son to cats. Seems like a no-brainer, but yeah, I had to get an order; to barring him from contact with 3 minor male family members for inappropriate contact.

My husband just got offered a job promotion to a management position and a 20% pay increase which is pretty substantial. Bad news is that its in NC, 500 miles away from NCP.

He will never agree to the move, not that I blame him. So I will be filing for a Plowman hearing. Any one have experience with one?

I have searched for the PA family law code on the matter but keep hitting dead ends.

I am almost positive that NCP will file for a transfer of custody. What are the chances of them deciding to move him from my custody to his dad's? I have had primary physical and legal since our first final order back in 2002.

Will the abuse incidents come in to play? His father was not the culprit, however, but he hasn't made any effort to continue our son's therapy while hes with him to help him cope. Even after the psychiatrists and therapists have phoned and mailed requests to him. Nor has he ever come to terms that this even happened. His father has followed the orders not to allow contact with the offenders. But he will routinely leave our son with family members that continually ask our son why did he 'lie' on the family and cause all that "trouble". They treat our son as if he was the offender, not the victim. My son is routinely excluded from family events because the true offenders will be there. Our son missed out on his older sister's graduation party because of it. His dad felt it more important to allow the offending cousin to attend then his own son. But not before he had my son help set up and blow up balloons.

My son has been in therapy continually since 2005 and is currently on medication for anxiety and depression. It would not be in my son's best interest (of course this is my opinion ) to go live with his father full time. He doesn't provide the simple basic need as far as his medical care. He also continually has our son lie about what he does and who he is with. This is a concern to me because of the past abuse.

Sorry so long, but basically I want to know to a degree what to expect. What do I need to show that this is in my son's best interest and that transferring custody would not be? If we move, I will continue his therapy there. I am willing to withdraw my request for more time during the summer and offer to fly our son up to PA once a month at my expense. If feasible, our son would go on weekends that have extra days off. He will continue to have all the other extended breaks during the school year.

If my husband accepts the position, he will move down to NC while I, my son and our two other young children stay in MD until I can get my court date in PA. Anyone know how long this can take? I am really not looking forward to have to live separately from my husband for too long But I've learned my lesson from trying to do things before the court makes its ruling

Will they take in to consideration my son's wishes? He is 9 and will be 10 in June. I am pretty sure he will say he will want to live with his dad because he has no rules or structure and his father continually pressures him to do the 'right' thing and come 'home'.

What would be the worse case scenario? Can they say no the child cannot move, but no there won't be a transfer of custody either?

Thanks in advance! and thanks for reading my novel

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? My custody order is in PA but I currently live 180 miles away in MD.

In 2003 it was agreed that I could move to MD with our son for me to be with my husband, who at the time was in the military. Our son is now 9 years old. Terms were 2 weekends a month at NCP and all of summer vaca, every thanksgiving, every spring and winter break with me providing all transportation. If a weekend had an extra off day or two, then that would also be part of NCP's visitation.

The order was later modified to to allow for set weekends and again for me to have 2 weekends in the PA during the 9 week summer.

In January, we had another hearing to modify with a master. The master had submitted the 'recommendation' that NCP was now to do half the transportation and also that NCP summer visitation was reduced to 2 weeks in July and 2 weeks in August so that our son can have continuity of care as far as therapy and that dad does not discuss custody matters or pressure our child to make a choice of where he wants to live. Father since filed an appeal and we have a court date set for 6/24

In trying to make this brief, I have been to court over a dozen times since 2001. My lawyer affectionately calls my case his "frequent flyer" case. I have orders from ordering NCP not to exposed our highly allergic son to cats. Seems like a no-brainer, but yeah, I had to get an order; to barring him from contact with 3 minor male family members for inappropriate contact.

My husband just got offered a job promotion to a management position and a 20% pay increase which is pretty substantial. Bad news is that its in NC, 500 miles away from NCP.

He will never agree to the move, not that I blame him. So I will be filing for a Plowman hearing. Any one have experience with one?

I have searched for the PA family law code on the matter but keep hitting dead ends.

I am almost positive that NCP will file for a transfer of custody. What are the chances of them deciding to move him from my custody to his dad's? I have had primary physical and legal since our first final order back in 2002.

Will the abuse incidents come in to play? His father was not the culprit, however, but he hasn't made any effort to continue our son's therapy while hes with him to help him cope. Even after the psychiatrists and therapists have phoned and mailed requests to him. Nor has he ever come to terms that this even happened. His father has followed the orders not to allow contact with the offenders. But he will routinely leave our son with family members that continually ask our son why did he 'lie' on the family and cause all that "trouble". They treat our son as if he was the offender, not the victim. My son is routinely excluded from family events because the true offenders will be there. Our son missed out on his older sister's graduation party because of it. His dad felt it more important to allow the offending cousin to attend then his own son. But not before he had my son help set up and blow up balloons.

My son has been in therapy continually since 2005 and is currently on medication for anxiety and depression. It would not be in my son's best interest (of course this is my opinion ) to go live with his father full time. He doesn't provide the simple basic need as far as his medical care. He also continually has our son lie about what he does and who he is with. This is a concern to me because of the past abuse.

Sorry so long, but basically I want to know to a degree what to expect. What do I need to show that this is in my son's best interest and that transferring custody would not be? If we move, I will continue his therapy there. I am willing to withdraw my request for more time during the summer and offer to fly our son up to PA once a month at my expense. If feasible, our son would go on weekends that have extra days off. He will continue to have all the other extended breaks during the school year.

If my husband accepts the position, he will move down to NC while I, my son and our two other young children stay in MD until I can get my court date in PA. Anyone know how long this can take? I am really not looking forward to have to live separately from my husband for too long But I've learned my lesson from trying to do things before the court makes its ruling

Will they take in to consideration my son's wishes? He is 9 and will be 10 in June. I am pretty sure he will say he will want to live with his dad because he has no rules or structure and his father continually pressures him to do the 'right' thing and come 'home'.

What would be the worse case scenario? Can they say no the child cannot move, but no there won't be a transfer of custody either?

Thanks in advance! and thanks for reading my novel

In your deliberations regarding whether or not your husband should accept the position, you should take into consideration how much "net" that 20% will actually be, and then compare the cost of living with where you live now, and where you would be living if he accepts.

You also should factor in the cost of flying your child to dad's once a month. Its possible that the promotion would still be worth it, but its also possible that it would not.

 

[chipmunk226]

In your deliberations regarding whether or not your husband should accept the position, you should take into consideration how much "net" that 20% will actually be, and then compare the cost of living with where you live now, and where you would be living if he accepts.

You also should factor in the cost of flying your child to dad's once a month. Its possible that the promotion would still be worth it, but its also possible that it would not.

Thanks LdiJ - Right now, my husband has said that he is interested, but it all depends on what they will offer him as far as salary. If the number isn't right, then we won't do it. We have crunched all the numbers and have over estimated for the cost of traveling.

My husband currently makes over 6 figures, so a 20% increase is very substantial. Where we live now, the cost of living is at 115 with 100 being the nationwide average. Where we would be moving to is 85.

Do they factor in more then financial benefit?

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks LdiJ - Right now, my husband has said that he is interested, but it all depends on what they will offer him as far as salary. If the number isn't right, then we won't do it. We have crunched all the numbers and have over estimated for the cost of traveling.

My husband currently makes over 6 figures, so a 20% increase is very substantial. Where we live now, the cost of living is at 115 with 100 being the nationwide average. Where we would be moving to is 85.

Do they factor in more then financial benefit?

In your case, the factors will be different than in a case where the parents currently live in the same community. The two of you already live a distance apart, therefore the child's community would change no matter which parent ended up with primary custody.

Therefore the judge has to look at it from the standpoint of which move would be the least disruptive for the child. A further move away from dad but remaining in the same primary custody, or changing primary custody and being a long distance away from the parent with whom primary custody has always been established.

I personally think that you are likely to win this one, if you are as generous and cooperative as possible with the long distance visitation plan. You need to keep your child's therapy in mind however and not give dad so much uninterrupted summer time that it breaks it up too much.

There is a long weekend nearly every month during the school year, and you should make sure that dad gets those long weekends.

September - Labor Day
October - Fall Break
November - Thanksgiving (rotate the day of but always give the rest of the weekend to dad)
Christmas - one week to Dad
January - ****** Luther King Day
February - Presidents Day
March/April - Spring Break (always give that to dad)
May - Memorial Day

Over the summer I would recommend a rotation that gives two weeks to dad, one to you, two to dad, one to you etc. so that you can continue with your son's therapy.

You should also offer to provide webcams for both houses so that your son can see and speak to dad over the internet.

 

[chipmunk226]

In your case, the factors will be different than in a case where the parents currently live in the same community. The two of you already live a distance apart, therefore the child's community would change no matter which parent ended up with primary custody.

Therefore the judge has to look at it from the standpoint of which move would be the least disruptive for the child. A further move away from dad but remaining in the same primary custody, or changing primary custody and being a long distance away from the parent with whom primary custody has always been established.

I personally think that you are likely to win this one, if you are as generous and cooperative as possible with the long distance visitation plan. You need to keep your child's therapy in mind however and not give dad so much uninterrupted summer time that it breaks it up too much.

There is a long weekend nearly every month during the school year, and you should make sure that dad gets those long weekends.

September - Labor Day
October - Fall Break
November - Thanksgiving (rotate the day of but always give the rest of the weekend to dad)
Christmas - one week to Dad
January - ****** Luther King Day
February - Presidents Day
March/April - Spring Break (always give that to dad)
May - Memorial Day

Over the summer I would recommend a rotation that gives two weeks to dad, one to you, two to dad, one to you etc. so that you can continue with your son's therapy.

You should also offer to provide webcams for both houses so that your son can see and speak to dad over the internet.

Responding to the bold, even with the move distance, would the court agree to that? Especially since dad is now losing a weekend per month?

I would be happy to provide the web cams... now if dad can keep his internet paid up is another story

Thanks again!

 

[stealth2]

I, personally, do not see you having much luck. Your prior move pretty much gave Dad all the time he could get. Now you're asking to move again AND to cut his time. For a non-mandatory move.

 

[chipmunk226]

I, personally, do not see you having much luck. Your prior move pretty much gave Dad all the time he could get. Now you're asking to move again AND to cut his time. For a non-mandatory move.

In order for my husband to advance in his career, we would most likely have to move somewhere. He is a government contractor in network security. His job took our situation into consideration and gave him a location that is the closest. I can understand from his father's perspective, the move is not mandatory. But for our family it would mean more income and a better standard of living and benefit us greatly.

We aren't moving just because we decided we want to live there for the beach

Also, while he is an involved parent as far as visitation, when he gets into court he very quickly shows that his position is what is most convenient for him, not our son. The court is starting to loose their patience with him. That is why, based on his testimony, his visitation was recommended by a Master to be reduced from 9 weeks to just 4 weeks in the summer.