Neglect?

[lilbnp]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? LA

My son is on several medications for ADHD which causes him to have freguent headaches and stomach aches. He has told me that on several occasions he has asked his stepmother for tylenol or advil for the headaches and she always tells him "NO" that he is just faking to get attention. This past Friday he called me from his dad's house and asked me to bring him some Tylenol when I came to get him b/c his head felt like is was going to explode and his stepmother told him he was faking and wouldn't give him anything.
He gets the headaches at my home as well and I usually give him Tylenol, send him to lie down and he is fine after about an hour or so. It is visible in his face that he is in pain...he starts sweating, grimacing, and squinting his eyes. He also gets very irritable and restless. I'm a nurse and was taught that pain is what the patient tells you it is...if they say they are in pain then they are in pain!!! I haven't confronted her about it b/c dad and I do not have a civil relationship and he is going to take her side and agree that our son is faking to get attention. We are set to go to trial for a modification soon, but what can I do for him in the mean time....is this neglect for denying a child medicine for a headache when he asks for it?

 

[bononos again]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? LA

My son is on several medications for ADHD which causes him to have freguent headaches and stomach aches. He has told me that on several occasions he has asked his stepmother for tylenol or advil for the headaches and she always tells him "NO" that he is just faking to get attention. This past Friday he called me from his dad's house and asked me to bring him some Tylenol when I came to get him b/c his head felt like is was going to explode and his stepmother told him he was faking and wouldn't give him anything.
He gets the headaches at my home as well and I usually give him Tylenol, send him to lie down and he is fine after about an hour or so. It is visible in his face that he is in pain...he starts sweating, grimacing, and squinting his eyes. He also gets very irritable and restless. I'm a nurse and was taught that pain is what the patient tells you it is...if they say they are in pain then they are in pain!!! I haven't confronted her about it b/c dad and I do not have a civil relationship and he is going to take her side and agree that our son is faking to get attention. We are set to go to trial for a modification soon, but what can I do for him in the mean time....is this neglect for denying a child medicine for a headache when he asks for it?

How old is he?

 

[Proserpina]

How old is your son?

 

[Zigner]

If the medication has caused so much pain, you should be looking for a different med.

 

[lilbnp]

He is 13 and dad had him put on the meds and the dr's only listen to him. When I call to complain about side effects they call dad and dad tells them that he isn't having any. That is part of the pleading for the modification.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Can he pack his own bottle of Tylenol so he won't have to ask?

 

[bononos again]

He is 13 and dad had him put on the meds and the dr's only listen to him. When I call to complain about side effects they call dad and dad tells them that he isn't having any. That is part of the pleading for the modification.

Why not give him 2 pills to tuck away somewhere?
He can take them if he needs it.
DO NOT give him more, only ONE recommended dose at a time.

 

[lilbnp]

I would, but dad conducts frequent "inspections" of his room and if he finds it would go ballistic and ask him where he got it from. That would lead to my child being caught in the middle. If his dad isn't satisfied w/ our son's explanation he will get in his face yell and scream at him until he's in tears and then ultimately will end up spanking him...yes spanking him still at 13!! Let's just say we have plenty of issues to bring up at trial. I just need to know if the headache thing would be something I should mention or just leave it alone to not risk sounding petty.

 

[Silverplum]

I'm flabbergasted.

Someone wants a stepparent to "administer" medication; even to the point of fabricating "abuse" allegations for the non-administration of said meds.



Poster, I suggest that this is one of the smartest stepparents we've heard of yet.

 

[lilbnp]

I am by no way "fabricating" any allegations. When at his dad's he spends majority of his time w/ step mom, so she is the one he would have to go to to ask for any medicine as his dad is never home. The fact that she won't give my son medicine if he has a headache is simply not cool. How would you feel if you are in pain and are told you are faking and cannot have the medication which will bring relief? I am not saying she is abusing him...I'm asking what I can do about. If I was trying to accuse her of abuse I would have just called CPS and been done w/ it. Contrary to what most people on here do or say I try to do and take the route that is going to be the least damaging to my child and it would be traumatic for him to have CPS come into his father's home to investigate that. I should know since he still hasn't gotten over the time they made a false report against me and he was home at the time. He ran into his room crying b/c he thought they were going to take him away from me. It took me a couple of days to convince him that no one was going to do that. I would never do that to him!! So unless you are going to intelligently try to assist me w/ my problem keep your ignorant biased (your obviously a step parent) rants to yourself!!

 

[Silverplum]

I am by no way "fabricating" any allegations. When at his dad's he spends majority of his time w/ step mom, so she is the one he would have to go to to ask for any medicine as his dad is never home. The fact that she won't give my son medicine if he has a headache is simply not cool. How would you feel if you are in pain and are told you are faking and cannot have the medication which will bring relief? I am not saying she is abusing him...I'm asking what I can do about. If I was trying to accuse her of abuse I would have just called CPS and been done w/ it. Contrary to what most people on here do or say I try to do and take the route that is going to be the least damaging to my child and it would be traumatic for him to have CPS come into his father's home to investigate that. I should know since he still hasn't gotten over the time they made a false report against me and he was home at the time. He ran into his room crying b/c he thought they were going to take him away from me. It took me a couple of days to convince him that no one was going to do that. I would never do that to him!! So unless you are going to intelligently try to assist me w/ my problem keep your ignorant biased (your obviously a step parent) rants to yourself!!

This is not a matter of being "ignorant," or "biased." It's a matter of learning to read, lady. But hey, you take your snotty attitude with you whenever you deal with court-types, okay? That will save time.

We have ONE BAZILLION threads on the topic of stepparenting. You didn't bother to READ any of them, did you? No. Because your "situation" with a teenager who can't take care of himself was sooooo speshul and unique.



It's not.

 

[lilbnp]

This is not a matter of being "ignorant," or "biased." It's a matter of learning to read, lady. But hey, you take your snotty attitude with you whenever you deal with court-types, okay? That will save time.

We have ONE BAZILLION threads on the topic of stepparenting. You didn't bother to READ any of them, did you? No. Because your "situation" with a teenager who can't take care of himself was sooooo speshul and unique.



It's not.

Actually I did do a search to try to find out if there was a topic similar to mine...as a matter of fact I've been reading through these forums all day trying to find an answer and finally (relunctantly) decided to ask my question. I belong to several forums and know how that works in that aspect. You got ugly w/ my situation first so of course I'm going to get defensive. Look, I'm a concerned mother. My son has alot of issues, sees two therapist, etc. He can barely take a pee at his dad's w/o permission so before you say he can't take care of himself consider that not all children are in the same situation or have been raised the same. If he could "take care of himself" he wouldn't need parents would he. I don't know many 13 yr old who can so call "take care of themselves". If that was the case we wouldn't have these forums w/ people asking questions about any teenagers would we b/c they should be able to take care of themselves. Perhaps I shouldn't have used the word "neglect" as if apparently implied I was looking for some sort of revenge. I'm by no means looking for anyone to tell me to hang stepmom out to dry and I appreciate the suggestions. By the way....its special

 

[Silverplum]

By the way....its special

Yeah, I know. I was making a point.

Apparently, however, you care very much about spelling and grammar. Therefore, you should know that you misused the word "your" in your earlier post. Since you are so very literate and concerned, you might want to learn to properly use contractions.

Contractions are shortened/combined words. When shortening and combining "you" and "are," one must use an apostrophe to indicate the "missing" letter/s. Therefore, the correct manner of spelling the contraction "you are" is "you're."

 

[jbowman]

Poster, I suggest that this is one of the smartest stepparents we've heard of yet.

Silver, Im a bit lost on your response here. Are you saying this is a smart stepparent for not getting involved? Or is is a smart stepparent for not believing the poor kid when he has horrible headaches?

There has got to be common sense here. A stepparent would not be considered as overstepping if the other parent ASKED that they do something. It is ridiculous to applaud a stepparent for not taking basic care of a child in their care.

And I believe that a 13 year old is still a child and it should not be advised that mom give him medication (tylenol or not) to hide and take on his own. That is obviously being directly defiant to dad. And by the way, kids get EXPELLED from school these days for taking aspirin to school. Why in the world would we advise this mom to give her kid medication to hide?

 

[lilbnp]

Thank You.