Neglect?

[jbowman]

I did NOT say to send medicine to dad's and have him take it arbitrarily. Mom, on mom's time, can teach her child how to take medicine and to understand doses.

I also suggest finding ways to help child's ADD that doesn't involve medication.

Im sorry but OP's issue is that child is not getting medication on DAD's time. So letting the child take medicine at mom's and mom teaching child these lessons may be helpful but completely irrelevant in this situation, with this particular problem.

OP was told

Can he pack his own bottle of Tylenol so he won't have to ask?

and THIS is the reason I am saying what I am saying. I was not speaking to you directly, Tink.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

In the beginning, the OP mentioned that she was going to court. The medication issue can be brought up there. IN.THE.MEANTIME., we have all put offers on ways to mitigate the problem.

 

[jbowman]

In the beginning, the OP mentioned that she was going to court. The medication issue can be brought up there. IN.THE.MEANTIME., we have all put offers on ways to mitigate the problem.

Well it seems to me that the child understands his pain and knows he needs an aspirin. He is just denied.

Apparently OP's only option at this point is to be assertive, speak to the doctors and get her points across. As well as take this issue up in court.

 

[lilbnp]

Thanks for all of the help and suggestions. I realize now that it will not be resolved until we go to trial which is now set back until next month!! Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!! Kinda good , but kinda bad too . I hate the waiting.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks for all of the help and suggestions. I realize now that it will not be resolved until we go to trial which is now set back until next month!! Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!! Kinda good , but kinda bad too . I hate the waiting.

I do feel very sorry for your son. Its extremely sad that he has to be in pain and be denied simple pain relievers...and be denied the right to wear his glasses as well.

 

[>Charlotte<]

I guess the point of whether a 13 year old is mature enough to be trusted with Tylenol is just entirely too subjective for consensus. When I was 13, I was babysitting six year old kids. When my son was 13, he was using a lawn mower and weed eater. I understand locking up the vodka or Xanax if you have a young teenager in the house, but acetaminophen? Obviously, my opinion is in the minority in this thread, and I certainly can’t dispute anyone’s personal experience with their own 13 year olds.

There’s no denying, however, that if giving him his own Tylenol is going send Dad off on a screaming tangent it’s a bad idea. It just doesn’t seem to jibe that Dad is accused of going off on a screaming tangent at any suggestion that the boy suffers from headaches and gets in his face if he so much as winces in pain, but the suggestion of having him keep a journal is accepted as a great idea.

Lilbnp, when you say you’re up for a modification, what is it you’re trying to modify? Do you want to be declared the domiciliary?

 

[LdiJ]

I guess the point of whether a 13 year old is mature enough to be trusted with Tylenol is just entirely too subjective for consensus. When I was 13, I was babysitting six year old kids. When my son was 13, he was using a lawn mower and weed eater. I understand locking up the vodka or Xanax if you have a young teenager in the house, but acetaminophen? Obviously, my opinion is in the minority in this thread, and I certainly can’t dispute anyone’s personal experience with their own 13 year olds.

There’s no denying, however, that if giving him his own Tylenol is going send Dad off on a screaming tangent it’s a bad idea. It just doesn’t seem to jibe that Dad is accused of going off on a screaming tangent at any suggestion that the boy suffers from headaches and gets in his face if he so much as winces in pain, but the suggestion of having him keep a journal is accepted as a great idea.

Lilbnp, when you say you’re up for a modification, what is it you’re trying to modify? Do you want to be declared the domiciliary?

I actually agree with you. I think that a 13 year old is perfectly able to determine if they need Tylanol or another similar pain reliever and I cannot imagine denying that to a 13 year old who is asking for it.

What I think is going on is that dad wants the child on the medication that gives the side effect of headaches, and is assuming that mom is egging the child on to complain of side effects, therefore dad and stepmom are assuming that the child is faking..and are therefore denying the pain relief.

If I lived in a magical world where my word was law, I would order that dad and stepmom both feel the child's pain, in full, until the child's pain is relieved. However no one lives in that kind of magical world, therefore that's never going to happen.

However I also think that there is a special place in "you know where" reserved for parents like dad and stepmom.

 

[>Charlotte<]

What I think is going on is that dad wants the child on the medication that gives the side effect of headaches, and is assuming that mom is egging the child on to complain of side effects, therefore dad and stepmom are assuming that the child is faking..and are therefore denying the pain relief.

Or the father and stepmother don't love the boy and go out of their way to make him suffer. Their actions as described here sound like a Dickens novel. Mom's not only battling Dad and stepmom, but also the doctors and teachers, and every aspect of this seems to be an uphill battle with no workable solution, other than Mom gaining physical custody. It certainly makes one appreciate a peaceful life.

 

[lilbnp]

Or the father and stepmother don't love the boy and go out of their way to make him suffer. Their actions as described here sound like a Dickens novel. Mom's not only battling Dad and stepmom, but also the doctors and teachers, and every aspect of this seems to be an uphill battle with no workable solution, other than Mom gaining physical custody. It certainly makes one appreciate a peaceful life.

Yes I envy people who do have simple lives. This is a daily issue for me. After meeting w/ attorney today as soon as my son gets out of school we have to get a 2nd opinion about his meds from a different psychiatrist. Still have yet to hear from his current psychiatrist and really don't plan to. Finally spoke to my child tonight and he sounded a bit more upbeat, but during the conversation conveniently dad called and he said he had to get off so dad could speak to stepmom.....(they have played this game for yrs...SM calls dad on cell and tells him to call the house so my son has to get off)....well my husband just called right back and we talked for quite a while after that.


Despite the set back in court date my attorney seems optimistic that we have a really good chance at least for 50/50 time and a change in "domiciliary" status to my home. So at least I will be able to change his schools (get him away from SM prying).

Not only that, but he said he has heard some really negative things about dad's attorney (not answering discovery, interrogatories, etc) and that she really basically screws up cases. She got fired from her firm about 3 months ago. She didn't even inform dad about our last court date where we asked that we go straight to trial instead of going through the evaluation (that I was ordered to pay for in full ($6000), b/c I was the petitioner) b/c dad was in contempt of court for not informing me about taking my son to another therapist until after he had been seeing him for over a month!! So dad was not even there to object to a trial instead of eval and judge gave me what I wanted. Its been two months since then and I don't think she has informed dad that we are set to go to trial. My attorney sent interrogatories over a month ago and hasn't heard anything, so now we have to file a "motion to compel". Maybe at that point she will realize she needs to call her client. Anyway, all the better for me that he has sucky representation....maybe he is finally reaping what he sows!!

 

[wileybunch]

I do feel very sorry for your son. Its extremely sad that he has to be in pain and be denied simple pain relievers...and be denied the right to wear his glasses as well.

Not wearing the glasses he needs can ALSO be causing headaches.

I don't know what other issues you all may be going back to court over, but these control issues over doctor visits, not allowing pain relief for headaches, and not wearing glasses .... I would have been back in court yesterday for these things alone (and also the apparent attempts to paint you as :::whatever::: so that care providers and teachers keep you at arm's length and you can't find an "in" to be able to communicate effectively with them, either).