Support above my income

[MJA89]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

My STBX still refuses to seek gainful employment although she is a college graduate with some, albeit limited, work experience. She is claiming living expenses in excess of what I earn (which led us into debt in the first place). How much and how long can I be expected to continue to support her? Will the courts question why this able bodied, educated, 43 year old adult cannot even partially support herself? I understand I have an obligation for the first several years in order to help her get back on her feet (we will have been married 20 years), but isn't ther some expectation that she pitch in? At this rate, I will not have anything to live on from the salary I make.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Have either of you filed for divorce?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

My STBX still refuses to seek gainful employment although she is a college graduate with some, albeit limited, work experience. She is claiming living expenses in excess of what I earn (which led us into debt in the first place). How much and how long can I be expected to continue to support her? Will the courts question why this able bodied, educated, 43 year old adult cannot even partially support herself? I understand I have an obligation for the first several years in order to help her get back on her feet (we will have been married 20 years), but isn't ther some expectation that she pitch in? At this rate, I will not have anything to live on from the salary I make.

If she got her degree more than 20 years ago and has limited work experience, most likely she is going to need some refresher education to bring her skills up to today's standards. In the meantime, you are likely going to be on the hook for some alimony, but at the absolute most it would be 50% of your pay, and that would be taxable income to her, and tax deductible to you.

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

My STBX still refuses to seek gainful employment although she is a college graduate with some, albeit limited, work experience. She is claiming living expenses in excess of what I earn (which led us into debt in the first place). How much and how long can I be expected to continue to support her? Will the courts question why this able bodied, educated, 43 year old adult cannot even partially support herself? I understand I have an obligation for the first several years in order to help her get back on her feet (we will have been married 20 years), but isn't ther some expectation that she pitch in? At this rate, I will not have anything to live on from the salary I make.

No the court is not going to question why she's a bum. After all, you made her that way.

The court WILL make sure that she doesn't suck off the taxpayers. The only person left is you. You are very much looking at permanent alimony. Sorry.

 

[MJA89]

Have either of you filed for divorce?

Yes, I have. She is cuurently going to a paralegal certification course which I am funding. We also have one minor child at home. I know I will be paying full CS for her. So, with the award of permanent support am I to assume that I will have to keep working to support her after reitrement. I am military, so she will also receive 50% of my retirement, but as I understand that- it's not support, but an asset to be awarded.

 

[LdiJ]

Yes, I have. She is cuurently going to a paralegal certification course which I am funding. We also have one minor child at home. I know I will be paying full CS for her. So, with the award of permanent support am I to assume that I will have to keep working to support her after reitrement. I am military, so she will also receive 50% of my retirement, but as I understand that- it's not support, but an asset to be awarded.

So she is getting some more education...that's good. There is no guarantee at all that you are going to be on the hook for permanent alimony. Its not impossible, but its not all that likely either.

Since there is a minor child for whom you will be paying child support, that amount will reduce the maximum potential amount of alimony as well. How soon will you be retiring?

 

[MJA89]

I will retire next year. That will be 21 years in the military. I know I will have to find another job and expect to, I am only 41. My daughter is 13. Once I retire and find a new job, will/should I open the support case back up to be readjudicated? I think by then the dynamics with be quite different. I will most likely not be making the same at my next job, but with the retirement, it should be close. How will the retirement be looked at then?

 

[Bali Hai]

I will retire next year. That will be 21 years in the military. I know I will have to find another job and expect to, I am only 41. My daughter is 13. Once I retire and find a new job, will/should I open the support case back up to be readjudicated? I think by then the dynamics with be quite different. I will most likely not be making the same at my next job, but with the retirement, it should be close. How will the retirement be looked at then?

I suggest you withdraw that petition for divorce filed in FL and wait.

Move to Texas and file there, otherwise you're dead meat!!

 

[LdiJ]

I will retire next year. That will be 21 years in the military. I know I will have to find another job and expect to, I am only 41. My daughter is 13. Once I retire and find a new job, will/should I open the support case back up to be readjudicated? I think by then the dynamics with be quite different. I will most likely not be making the same at my next job, but with the retirement, it should be close. How will the retirement be looked at then?

The retirement is still a marital asset, to be divided. However, you could argue that the fact that she will be receiving her half of the retirement, mitigates the need for alimony from you once you retire. That is a permanent income that she will be receiving.

Make sure that her portion of the retirement is paid directly to her. It makes things less complicated tax wise.

 

[LdiJ]

I suggest you withdraw that petition for divorce filed in FL and wait.

Move to Texas and file there, otherwise you're dead meat!!

Moving to TX will not help him whatsoever.

 

[IrishLady47]

The retirement is still a marital asset, to be divided. However, you could argue that the fact that she will be receiving her half of the retirement, mitigates the need for alimony from you once you retire. That is a permanent income that she will be receiving.

Make sure that her portion of the retirement is paid directly to her. It makes things less complicated tax wise.

Totally agree. Although legally a property settlement, her portion of the military retirement is a annually cost-of-living adjusted monthly income for life. And, as it appears she will meet the 20/20/20 rule, she also has TRICARE for life. Two benefits that you need to make sure are considered. Plus, she should be imputed an income--whether working or not.

Beyond providing temporary support while she finishes school, I would NOT agree to any alimony.

 

[LdiJ]

Totally agree. Although legally a property settlement, her portion of the military retirement is a annually cost-of-living adjusted monthly income for life. And, as it appears she will meet the 20/20/20 rule, she also has TRICARE for life. Two benefits that you need to make sure are considered. Plus, she should be imputed an income--whether working or not.

Beyond providing temporary support while she finishes school, I would NOT agree to any alimony.

He is not going to retire for a year, so some short term support would be reasonable...to end when she starts receiving her share of the retirement. I know that you are thinking that she won't be done with school by then, but paralegal training is pretty short term.

And you are right, if she qualifies for Tricare for life that's a HUGE benefit that needs to be factored in.