Leaving the state

[MCDATX]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I'm hoping someone can shed light on this issue:
I was offered a great spot at a university in another state this fall, scholarship and housing. I only have two semesters to complete. I have full legal custody of my 4.5 yr old son and his mother has visitation. My order says I can take him anywhere but I do of course have to notify the court and his mother. We follow the standard visitation schedule for the state of TX.

I've tried to talk to her about letting me take him until next summer. I've found a great school on the campus for him (better than the one he has here) and overall it would a great temporary change for him. The long-term benefits of my going to school out of state would prove advantageous to me and my abilities to support my son and the opportunities I could afford him. I've offered her in exchange the entire summer and the month of December so that she doesn't lose any of her time. I'm not trying to take him away from her at all...if we worked out summers, technically she'd have the same amount of visitation as she takes per year-- just weeks at a time instead of hours per week. She is not hearing any of it. She's refuses to work with me.

Fine. I can accept that. Its her right regardless of her real reasons for refusing to work with me.

However, I'm wondering if I can leave my son with my wife in the home he's lived most of his life. Will this be acceptable or does she have grounds to go to court for custody? I'm not leaving indefinitely, I am coming back after two semesters. If my son stayed, his mother would continue her visitation as normal. My entire family is here in town also. Would this be acceptable or should I scrap the idea of going to school over there altogether because I could lose my child?
I have full legal custody of him, could I grant temp guardianship to my wife while I'm gone? I realize she's a legal stranger but she's raised him most of his life and our home is his my son's home.

I would have son would stay with wife because mom frequently skips out on visitation and is overall undependable. I have over two years' worth of documentation to prove this. Not petty stuff at all. Real proof she's not full time parent material. This past weekend, she returned him an hour late with no shoes or shirt...(what the h--?) Hence, I have full legal custody. She has visitation.
Her fighting me on this has little do with our son but that fact that I won't be around anymore for her to harrass and attempt to get back with. (Multiple emails and texts to prove this as well.) I'd have no problem leaving him with her if she was a good parent. Of course, I know legally, those standards in our courts are very low...

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I'm hoping someone can shed light on this issue:
I was offered a great spot at a university in another state this fall, scholarship and housing. I only have two semesters to complete. I have full legal custody of my 4.5 yr old son and his mother has visitation. My order says I can take him anywhere but I do of course have to notify the court and his mother. We follow the standard visitation schedule for the state of TX.

I've tried to talk to her about letting me take him until next summer. I've found a great school on the campus for him (better than the one he has here) and overall it would a great temporary change for him. The long-term benefits of my going to school out of state would prove advantageous to me and my abilities to support my son and the opportunities I could afford him. I've offered her in exchange the entire summer and the month of December so that she doesn't lose any of her time. I'm not trying to take him away from her at all...if we worked out summers, technically she'd have the same amount of visitation as she takes per year-- just weeks at a time instead of hours per week. She is not hearing any of it. She's refuses to work with me.

Fine. I can accept that. Its her right regardless of her real reasons for refusing to work with me.

However, I'm wondering if I can leave my son with my wife in the home he's lived most of his life. Will this be acceptable or does she have grounds to go to court for custody? I'm not leaving indefinitely, I am coming back after two semesters. If my son stayed, his mother would continue her visitation as normal. My entire family is here in town also. Would this be acceptable or should I scrap the idea of going to school over there altogether because I could lose my child?
I have full legal custody of him, could I grant temp guardianship to my wife while I'm gone? I realize she's a legal stranger but she's raised him most of his life and our home is his my son's home.

I would have son would stay with wife because mom frequently skips out on visitation and is overall undependable. I have over two years' worth of documentation to prove this. Not petty stuff at all. Real proof she's not full time parent material. This past weekend, she returned him an hour late with no shoes or shirt...(what the h--?) Hence, I have full legal custody. She has visitation.
Her fighting me on this has little do with our son but that fact that I won't be around anymore for her to harrass and attempt to get back with. (Multiple emails and texts to prove this as well.) I'd have no problem leaving him with her if she was a good parent. Of course, I know legally, those standards in our courts are very low...

if you want to move with the child, mom has the right to fight that move.

if you move without the child, mom has the right to fight for custody and WIN.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I'm hoping someone can shed light on this issue:
I was offered a great spot at a university in another state this fall, scholarship and housing. I only have two semesters to complete. I have full legal custody of my 4.5 yr old son and his mother has visitation. My order says I can take him anywhere but I do of course have to notify the court and his mother. We follow the standard visitation schedule for the state of TX.

Please dig out your order and quote that moving section, word for word.
If it really says that, then why would you need Mom's permission? Because you won't be able to fulfill her visitation/parenting time schedule?

I've tried to talk to her about letting me take him until next summer. I've found a great school on the campus for him (better than the one he has here) and overall it would a great temporary change for him. The long-term benefits of my going to school out of state would prove advantageous to me and my abilities to support my son and the opportunities I could afford him. I've offered her in exchange the entire summer and the month of December so that she doesn't lose any of her time. I'm not trying to take him away from her at all...if we worked out summers, technically she'd have the same amount of visitation as she takes per year-- just weeks at a time instead of hours per week. She is not hearing any of it. She's refuses to work with me.

Fine. I can accept that. Its her right regardless of her real reasons for refusing to work with me.

That's correct. She doesn't have to agree -- depending upon your order.

However, I'm wondering if I can leave my son with my wife

No.

in the home he's lived most of his life.

I always lol a bit when folks add that part.

Will this be acceptable or does she have grounds to go to court for custody?

Not acceptable, and yes, it gives Mom "grounds" to file for custody.

I'm not leaving indefinitely, I am coming back after two semesters.

That's pleasant.
But matters not to your question.

If my son stayed, his mother would continue her visitation as normal. My entire family is here in town also. Would this be acceptable or should I scrap the idea of going to school over there altogether because I could lose my child?

I've been pretty clear, right?

I have full legal custody of him, could I grant temp guardianship to my wife while I'm gone? I realize she's a legal stranger but she's raised him most of his life and our home is his my son's home.

No. You aren't a Judge, are you? You can't *grant* beans.

I would have son would stay with wife because mom frequently skips out on visitation and is overall undependable. I have over two years' worth of documentation to prove this. Not petty stuff at all. Real proof she's not full time parent material. This past weekend, she returned him an hour late with no shoes or shirt...(what the h--?) Hence, I have full legal custody. She has visitation.
Her fighting me on this has little do with our son but that fact that I won't be around anymore for her to harrass and attempt to get back with. (Multiple emails and texts to prove this as well.) I'd have no problem leaving him with her if she was a good parent. Of course, I know legally, those standards in our courts are very low...

I'll just let you read the previous comments. No need for more, right?

 

[MCDATX]

What's funny about the fact that he's lived with me most of his life? You got me there, Silverplum. There's nothing funny about his situation. It's quite sad, actually and I'm doing my best to give my child the very best. I thank you, however, for taking the time to respond.

The court order names me as the home parent: "The Home Parent decides where the child's primary home will be, and that home may be: (the ANYWHERE box is checked. Other boxes are In This County, In Texas and Other)."

Still, I think even though it says this, she has the right to fight the move.

I guess it's confusing that if a judge already awarded me full legal custody based onthe fact that this person is unfit, why would my chances of losing him over a temporary move to HER be likely if I can prove that it's in our son's best interests NOT to reside with her?

 

[Silverplum]

What's funny about the fact that he's lived with me most of his life? You got me there, Silverplum. There's nothing funny about his situation. It's quite sad, actually and I'm doing my best to give my child the very best. I thank you, however, for taking the time to respond.

You're welcome.
What's funny is that people think that a HOUSE matters. It doesn't.

The court order names me as the home parent: "The Home Parent decides where the child's primary home will be, and that home may be: (the ANYWHERE box is checked. Other boxes are In This County, In Texas and Other)."

Still, I think even though it says this, she has the right to fight the move.

I think she does have that right. I don't know if she'll win, but she IS the child's other parent. Your wife is a legal stranger, a nobody in this equation. A babysitter.

I guess it's confusing that if a judge already awarded me full legal custody based onthe fact that this person is unfit, why would my chances of losing him over a temporary move to HER be likely if I can prove that it's in our son's best interests NOT to reside with her?

You want to leave your child for two semesters with a babysitter instead of their other parent. THAT'S what's wrong with your plan.

 

[MCDATX]

Duly noted. Ok...so wife is pretty much a babysitter in courts eyes. Got it.
What about grandparents? Both my parents live in town. Pretty much my entire extended family is in town. Could that work to my advantage?

I'm considering going to court to try to get permission anyway but I'm trying to get a feel of all my options. If my son stays with family, instead of an already deemed unfit mother, do you think a judge might consider that?

 

[Silverplum]

Duly noted. Ok...so wife is pretty much a babysitter in courts eyes. Got it.
What about grandparents? Both my parents live in town. Pretty much my entire extended family is in town. Could that work to my advantage?

I'm considering going to court to try to get permission anyway but I'm trying to get a feel of all my options. If my son stays with family, instead of an already deemed unfit mother, do you think a judge might consider that?

sigh...I thought I WAS clear.

Grandparents are also legal strangers. So are aunties. So are uncles. So are cousins.

MOM and DAD are the PARENTS. That is all.

 

[mommabearx1]

[ This past weekend, she returned him an hour late with no shoes or shirt...(what the h--?) Hence, I have full legal custody.[/QUOTE]

This is the part I don't really get. My XH brings my kids back shirtless, shoeless and dirty I personally think it means they have had a blast. I sent three pairs of shoes for my daughter one weekend (play shoes, church shoes, and flip flops to wear on the boat) my daughter lost every single pair!!
Irritating yes but it isn't why here dad doesn't have custody of her

 

[MCDATX]

ok, I'll take my chances in front of a judge...If he says no, then I stay and find another good opportunity here.
Seriously though, thanks for responding so quickly. I appreciate it.

 

[Just Blue]

Duly noted. Ok...so wife is pretty much a babysitter in courts eyes. Got it.
What about grandparents? Both my parents live in town. Pretty much my entire extended family is in town. Could that work to my advantage?

I'm considering going to court to try to get permission anyway but I'm trying to get a feel of all my options. If my son stays with family, instead of an already deemed unfit mother, do you think a judge might consider that?

Why was your child MOTHER deemed unfit? And was it a court that deemed her unfit? CPS? YOU?

 

[MCDATX]

[ This past weekend, she returned him an hour late with no shoes or shirt...(what the h--?) Hence, I have full legal custody.

This is the part I don't really get. My XH brings my kids back shirtless, shoeless and dirty I personally think it means they have had a blast. I sent three pairs of shoes for my daughter one weekend (play shoes, church shoes, and flip flops to wear on the boat) my daughter lost every single pair!!
Irritating yes but it isn't why here dad doesn't have ucstody of her[/QUOTE]

oh, that my son comes home with no shoes and shirt is not why his mother lost complete legal custody of him. Trust me...that's the cherry on top of it all. (Mothers don't typically lose custody of their toddlers unless they are seriously inept.)

I'm glad that you can trust your children with your ex like that. I, on the other hand, cannot live the same way.

 

[mommabearx1]

Sr.'s correct me if I am wrong, I thought if a parent was "deemed unfit" they would not receive visitation at all?

 

[mommabearx1]

This is the part I don't really get. My XH brings my kids back shirtless, shoeless and dirty I personally think it means they have had a blast. I sent three pairs of shoes for my daughter one weekend (play shoes, church shoes, and flip flops to wear on the boat) my daughter lost every single pair!!
Irritating yes but it isn't why here dad doesn't have ucstody of her

oh, that my son comes home with no shoes and shirt is not why his mother lost complete legal custody of him. Trust me...that's the cherry on top of it all. (Mothers don't typically lose custody of their toddlers unless they are seriously inept.)

I'm glad that you can trust your children with your ex like that. I, on the other hand, cannot live the same way.[/QUOTE]

COMPLETE BS!! My step-son's mother lost physical custody of her son to my now ex-husband. and she was a good mother. It was just in their son's better interest to live with his father, had nothing to do with her inept-ness

 

[Silverplum]

ok, I'll take my chances in front of a judge...If he says no, then I stay and find another good opportunity here.
Seriously though, thanks for responding so quickly. I appreciate it.

You're welcome.

 

[MCDATX]

We follow the standard visitation schedule for the state of Texas. At that, she regularly skips out on her time. Court awared me full legal custody because she's filed false suits claiming child abuse, false reports of domestic abuse, wouldn't show up to hearings, along with a slew of other reasons...bottom line: she has not grown up.