Leaving the state

[MCDATX]

oh, that my son comes home with no shoes and shirt is not why his mother lost complete legal custody of him. Trust me...that's the cherry on top of it all. (Mothers don't typically lose custody of their toddlers unless they are seriously inept.)

I'm glad that you can trust your children with your ex like that. I, on the other hand, cannot live the same way.

COMPLETE BS!! My step-son's mother lost physical custody of her son to my now ex-husband. and she was a good mother. It was just in their son's better interest to live with his father, had nothing to do with her inept-ness[/QUOTE]

You step-son's mother is not my son's mother. Again, I'm glad he has two good parents. It's not the same case with me. Why would a judge think it's in my 4.5 yr old son's best interest not to live with his mother if she was a good mom? Why would he not to grant her joint custody?
BTW, she does visit him when she chooses to be a mom.

 

[bononos again]

oh, that my son comes home with no shoes and shirt is not why his mother lost complete legal custody of him. Trust me...that's the cherry on top of it all. (Mothers don't typically lose custody of their toddlers unless they are seriously inept.)

I'm glad that you can trust your children with your ex like that. I, on the other hand, cannot live the same way.

COMPLETE BS!! My step-son's mother lost physical custody of her son to my now ex-husband. and she was a good mother. It was just in their son's better interest to live with his father, had nothing to do with her inept-ness[/QUOTE]

It seems this Mom lost LEGAL custody. That says alot. that would make me think the court thought this Mom was inept.

 

[mommabearx1]

COMPLETE BS!! My step-son's mother lost physical custody of her son to my now ex-husband. and she was a good mother. It was just in their son's better interest to live with his father, had nothing to do with her inept-ness

You step-son's mother is not my son's mother. Again, I'm glad he has two good parents. It's not the same case with me. Why would a judge think it's in my 4.5 yr old son's best interest not to live with his mother if she was a good mom? Why would he not to grant her joint custody?
BTW, she does visit him when she chooses to be a mom.[/QUOTE]

I didn't say she was his mother , however you generalized that most "mothers" don't lose custody of their toddlers. SOme do, it's about what is in the best interest of the child at that time. As for why a judge thought it was n your son's best interest is beyond me I wasn;t inthe court room when the case was presented. However just because she doesn't have custody doesn't make her a BAD mom & the fact that she floats in and out of his life irregularly just means she has differnt priorities. My XH used to do that, did I agree nope but that was his way of parenting, that said when he did pick thekids up they had a blast with him even if it was only for three days a month.
Not arguing you just shoudln't generalize things so much.

 

[MCDATX]

I understand what you're saying but to me, someone who doesn't make their children a priority don't fall under the Good Parent category. It's just my opinion. If three days a month works out for you and your ex, then that's good for you two and the kids...but my situation is totally different. To me three days of visitation a month is not parenting...She does not act like a parent at all.
ANYWAY, my whole reason for asking was so I could gauge my chances of being able to take him out of state...I think I have all I need before I head to court.
Thanks to all of you for your responses!

 

[mommabearx1]

I understand what you're saying but to me, someone who doesn't make their children a priority don't fall under the Good Parent category. It's just my opinion. If three days a month works out for you and your ex, then that's good for you two and the kids...but my situation is totally different. To me three days of visitation a month is not parenting...She does not act like a parent at all.
ANYWAY, my whole reason for asking was so I could gauge my chances of being able to take him out of state...I think I have all I need before I head to court.
Thanks to all of you for your responses!

You and I agree there but you cannot make someone be the type of parent you think they should be, however you did decide to make her the other parent to your son, as I did with my children's father, and that is the situation you are in. The courts want the child to be with on parent or the other and she is the other.
But you never know what a judge could decide I guess.

 

[MCDATX]

Yep...Trust, I kick myself enough over that! It's just sad that I'm the only one that grew up and put our son first. I guess we'll see what a judge says.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I'm hoping someone can shed light on this issue:
I was offered a great spot at a university in another state this fall, scholarship and housing. I only have two semesters to complete. I have full legal custody of my 4.5 yr old son and his mother has visitation. My order says I can take him anywhere but I do of course have to notify the court and his mother. We follow the standard visitation schedule for the state of TX.

I've tried to talk to her about letting me take him until next summer. I've found a great school on the campus for him (better than the one he has here) and overall it would a great temporary change for him. The long-term benefits of my going to school out of state would prove advantageous to me and my abilities to support my son and the opportunities I could afford him. I've offered her in exchange the entire summer and the month of December so that she doesn't lose any of her time. I'm not trying to take him away from her at all...if we worked out summers, technically she'd have the same amount of visitation as she takes per year-- just weeks at a time instead of hours per week. She is not hearing any of it. She's refuses to work with me.

Fine. I can accept that. Its her right regardless of her real reasons for refusing to work with me.

However, I'm wondering if I can leave my son with my wife in the home he's lived most of his life. Will this be acceptable or does she have grounds to go to court for custody? I'm not leaving indefinitely, I am coming back after two semesters. If my son stayed, his mother would continue her visitation as normal. My entire family is here in town also. Would this be acceptable or should I scrap the idea of going to school over there altogether because I could lose my child?
I have full legal custody of him, could I grant temp guardianship to my wife while I'm gone? I realize she's a legal stranger but she's raised him most of his life and our home is his my son's home.

I would have son would stay with wife because mom frequently skips out on visitation and is overall undependable. I have over two years' worth of documentation to prove this. Not petty stuff at all. Real proof she's not full time parent material. This past weekend, she returned him an hour late with no shoes or shirt...(what the h--?) Hence, I have full legal custody. She has visitation.
Her fighting me on this has little do with our son but that fact that I won't be around anymore for her to harrass and attempt to get back with. (Multiple emails and texts to prove this as well.) I'd have no problem leaving him with her if she was a good parent. Of course, I know legally, those standards in our courts are very low...

Dad, if you move out of state the child is either going to be moving with you, or the child is going to be living with mom. The option of living with your new wife does not exist at all.

You may have documentation that mom isn't the best mom, but that still doesn't guarantee that you will win the right to relocate with the child. You need to get the ball rolling in court now. You may end up having to leave the child with mom anyway, because there is so little time before the fall semester starts.