I am actually considering this...Name Change/Hyphen

[bononos again]

Another aspect.
I am thinking of this as to what kiddo deserves, but, I am realizing I feel I deserve it too.
I am the only functional parent here.
I do it all.
I work 2 jobs cause CS is never paid.
I provide EVERYTHING.
I choose to live a respectable life for my kids.
I choose to be involved in everything.
I am Mom and Dad.
Don't I deserve for him to have my last name?

 

[CourtClerk]

Another aspect.
I am thinking of this as to what kiddo deserves, but, I am realizing I feel I deserve it too.
I am the only functional parent here.
I do it all.
I work 2 jobs cause CS is never paid.
I provide EVERYTHING.
I choose to live a respectable life for my kids.
I choose to be involved in everything.
I am Mom and Dad.
Don't I deserve for him to have my last name?

So long as you finally admit that this is all about you, and less about your child, then do what you want.

For the record:
I raise mine on my own
12 years, not a dime in CS
I have worked at some points 3 jobs.
College full time, work full time and a newborn baby when he was born.
I am mom, dad, pastor, nurse, doctor, friend, tackling dummy, workout partner, part time tutor (I pay someone to do the other part), psychologist, chef, chauffer, rollerskating parter, football thrower, baseball thrower, pitcher, umpire, referee, wrestling partner, maid, fashion coordinator, personal shopper, water ride parter, roller coaster partner, disciplinarian, huggy kissy mommy when needed, stick my foot in your arse when needed 110% full time parent.

Don't give a da*m what his last name is.... that's not the important part.

 

[ezmarelda]

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."


...just a thought

 

[truebluemd]

Another aspect.
I am thinking of this as to what kiddo deserves, but, I am realizing I feel I deserve it too.
I am the only functional parent here.
I do it all.
I work 2 jobs cause CS is never paid.
I provide EVERYTHING.
I choose to live a respectable life for my kids.
I choose to be involved in everything.
I am Mom and Dad.
Don't I deserve for him to have my last name?

In trying to focus on the legal aspect of this......If you are serious about taking this to court, then you are going to have to focus on why it is in your son's best interest that his last name should be changed.

 

[bononos again]

So long as you finally admit that this is all about you, and less about your child, then do what you want.

For the record:
I raise mine on my own
12 years, not a dime in CS
I have worked at some points 3 jobs.
College full time, work full time and a newborn baby when he was born.
I am mom, dad, pastor, nurse, doctor, friend, tackling dummy, workout partner, part time tutor (I pay someone to do the other part), psychologist, chef, chauffer, rollerskating parter, football thrower, baseball thrower, pitcher, umpire, referee, wrestling partner, maid, fashion coordinator, personal shopper, water ride parter, roller coaster partner, disciplinarian, huggy kissy mommy when needed, stick my foot in your arse when needed 110% full time parent.

Don't give a da*m what his last name is.... that's not the important part.

Please don't put words in my mouth, this is about kiddo.
I just got to thinking more and concluded we both deserve it.
You can disagree with me as much as you want. I guess I can be prepared for what i might hear in court.
I could guarantee if I dropped CS he would agree to it.

I am all those too. And I'm sure we both could extend that list about a mile long. And I think we both deservingly should up that percent.
You may not care what is in a name. That is your opinion. I care what's in a name because that name is associated with bad people and bad actions.

I cannot control the opinions of others. I could try to alleviate those opinions in the first place with the name change.

Edit to add:
By the way, my older son (11) has his Father's last name. We jointly work together to parent. We jointly work together to support him. All without court orders.
I would never in my life think to change his last name.

 

[CJane]

Don't give a da*m what his last name is.... that's not the important part.

SO true.

I get having a family name that makes other people roll their eyes. I didn't, but there were kids in town who when you said that name, your first thought was 'isn't his dad in prison'?

But ya know what? Most of those kids shouldered the burden of being the 'murdering reservation basta**s' kids and made something of themselves... more BECAUSE of what people thought of them, than IN SPITE of what people thought.

D'man asks me now and then if I wish I'd given Twain my last name since I was pretty sure from WAY before Day 1 that his father wasn't going to stick. And ya know? I've never once regretted the fact that Twain has his very own name, different from mine, the girls', anyone's at all. It's HIS name. No one else's.

 

[CourtClerk]

SO true.

I get having a family name that makes other people roll their eyes. I didn't, but there were kids in town who when you said that name, your first thought was 'isn't his dad in prison'?

But ya know what? Most of those kids shouldered the burden of being the 'murdering reservation basta**s' kids and made something of themselves... more BECAUSE of what people thought of them, than IN SPITE of what people thought.

D'man asks me now and then if I wish I'd given Twain my last name since I was pretty sure from WAY before Day 1 that his father wasn't going to stick. And ya know? I've never once regretted the fact that Twain has his very own name, different from mine, the girls', anyone's at all. It's HIS name. No one else's.

Titles and names only count at work for me. There, when my title changes, so does my pay. Home, no matter WHAT your name is (first or last), the pay is still the same... and most times, I'm underpaid.

 

[bononos again]

I guess I am seeing your points.
It is just a name and will have no bearing on the man I hope to raise kiddo to be.
He is 7, and until now, I have never really thought to change his name.
Things just keep getting worse in his Father's life (and kiddos uncle too - he's even worse than ex). That is what prompted this.
I just don't want kiddo to ever be considered "guilty by association." Or be given a bad rap for things he has no control over.
His Father and I both attended the same school kiddo does. Some of the same staff is surprisingly still there and of course live in the area and have heard stories. The attendance secretary was asking questions as to who kiddos Dad was (which one of the brother's) one day he was signed in late for a Doc's Appt.

 

[LdiJ]

I guess I am seeing your points.
It is just a name and will have no bearing on the man I hope to raise kiddo to be.
He is 7, and until now, I have never really thought to change his name.
Things just keep getting worse in his Father's life (and kiddos uncle too - he's even worse than ex). That is what prompted this.
I just don't want kiddo to ever be considered "guilty by association." Or be given a bad rap for things he has no control over.
His Father and I both attended the same school kiddo does. Some of the same staff is surprisingly still there and of course live in the area and have heard stories. The attendance secretary was asking questions as to who kiddos Dad was (which one of the brother's) one day he was signed in late for a Doc's Appt.

Look, despite what everyone else is saying there is no harm whatsoever in you trying to change the child's last name, and there is no reason why you shouldn't give it a try considering the circumstances. There is no guarantee that you will be successful, but you certainly can try.

 

[mommabearx1]

I understand the boat you are in. My kid's have their father's last name, as I personally believe it should be, and he & his family don't have a great reputation in our town either. However my kids have already grown above and beyond and prejudgement anyone could place on them.
I get compliments all the time on there manners, behavior, how great they are doing in school and maybe it's selfishness on my part but I know I am the main reason for that, because of how they have been raised. And when anyone asks "Oh they are papabear's kids?" it is normally in shock because quite frankly they do not fit the mold of what that family has prduced and as far as I am concerned they never will.
I hold my head high when I say yes we were married for so many years and these are our beautiful children. And no I'm not biased there GORGEOUS kids

 

[bononos again]

Look, despite what everyone else is saying there is no harm whatsoever in you trying to change the child's last name, and there is no reason why you shouldn't give it a try considering the circumstances. There is no guarantee that you will be successful, but you certainly can try.

You are right and this is a matter more of my opinion and what I think is best.
I think I will give the attorney a call that I used last summer when his custody was lost. She was a helpful woman and not a sugar coater. I will see if she thinks it's worth it to try.