commuting

[fishermanSTEVE]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I have primary custody of both of our sons. I am the father. Receiving party does the pickups. My ex-wife would pick them up from school on Fridays, every other weekend. I pick them up Sunday nights at 8:30. (The judge ruled that she does all the driving for her mid-week visit on Wednesdays).

Last week, my ex-wife informed me of her new address. Before, she lived 30 miles away. Now she is 80 miles away. Luckily, my drive won't be as bad as hers, since my drive is on Sunday evenings, but it's still a significant increase. What used to take 45 minutes tops, will now take me about 1 hour 45 minutes (and that is without traffic). With traffic, it could be up to 3 hours. (L.A. is a nightmare on the freeways and i have never been to this area so i don't know what to expect). Tomorrow will be my first commute.

Is this a significant change that i can ask the courts for her to do all the driving? Or at least meet me half way? Or have my pick up at 7 instead?

If i pick them up at 8:30, they won't get to bed till 10 on a school night. My boys are in elementary school and i feel it is not in their best interest to be up that late, even if they sleep in the car (as you can imagine, it is tough to take 2 sleeping boys out of a car and put them to bed without it being disruptive to a good night sleep).

It isn't a big deal now, since it is summer. Just wondering what my chances are if i wanted this to change for the new school year. If she does all the driving, she could drop them off at my house at 8:30, keeping her visitation until 8:30. If i petition to get it changed to 7pm or something, to allow for the drive home, she would lose an hour and a half.

She is not cooperative, to say the least, so asking her of this change, her response will be the standard "we are sticking to the court order".

Or do i suck it up and drive?

PS there is nothing in the court order that states when a parent moves.

 

[CourtClerk]

This is a bit of an exaggeration... in what part of LA do you live and where did she move to?

Really... Barstow is a 120 mile trip from my house, I go frequently and it never takes me more than 1hr and 15 minutes. So I'd be interested in how you have an almost 2 hr trip to go 80 miles....

And I can be out of the state in 3 hours... Really, you get better answers if you post without the dramatics.

 

[fishermanSTEVE]

I'm in santa clarita, she moved to laguna beach (from burbank). we have to drive through los angeles. my best options are the 5 or the 405, and those are tough fwys to travel (like i said, i have the better commute)

 

[fishermanSTEVE]

During rush hour it could be 3 hrs, luckily i would rarely have to deal with that, if ever. it can take me 2 hrs to get to santa monica, and thats like 30 miles. LA traffic blows.

 

[CourtClerk]

I'm in santa clarita, she moved to laguna beach (from burbank). we have to drive through los angeles. my best options are the 5 or the 405, and those are tough fwys to travel (like i said, i have the better commute)

It is NOT a 2 hour drive from Santa Clarita to Laguna Beach on a Sunday evening... unless someone is dead on the freeway.

Please stop talking to everyone like no one lives near you. You'd be surprised just how familiar some of us are with LA and LA traffic from one end to another. By the way, if the CO says receiving parent does the driving... then the receiving parent does the driving.

Signed,

Someone who used to make the drive from the border of Orange County to Antelope Valley court 5 days a week DURING RUSH HOUR (both ways) and it RARELY took me 2 hours.

 

[fishermanSTEVE]

Sorry i didn't include this all in one reply.
But i am more concerned about the hour and a half drive (not the potential 3 hour drive with heavy traffic) starting at 8:30 getting home at 10 on a school night with my boys. i could probably make it out of state in 3 hours too, with no traffic but that would be going 80 mph. i don't drive that fast with kids in my car.

 

[CourtClerk]

Then ask her if she wouldn't mind picking up the boys 2 hours earlier and you pick them up 2 hours earlier.

 

[fishermanSTEVE]

It is NOT a 2 hour drive from Santa Clarita to Laguna Beach on a Sunday evening... unless someone is dead on the freeway.

Please stop talking to everyone like no one lives near you. You'd be surprised just how familiar some of us are with LA and LA traffic from one end to another. By the way, if the CO says receiving parent does the driving... then the receiving parent does the driving.

OK, let me start over. My initial post stated that my drive went from 45 minutes to 1 hr 45 minutes (not sure yet since tomorrow will be my first drive). I know that it's not that far, BUT it's the time of the travel that concerns me, since it's so late at night, when the boys have school the next day. Like i said, right now it's not an issue since it's summer. So, it's not the distance that I have a problem with.

The CO says the receiving parent does the driving, but if she moved to San Francisco, would that be far enough for things to change? What is the limit of how far one can move before it goes to court to get things changed?

 

[CourtClerk]

Your question has been answered. And yes, it would make a big difference between Burbank and San Francisco.

 

[fishermanSTEVE]

Then ask her if she wouldn't mind picking up the boys 2 hours earlier and you pick them up 2 hours earlier.

She picks them up from school, once they are released at 2:45, so that won't be an option. And asking her for a change is a battle, no matter how small. Court has been the only way we ever have things changed. I suppose I can just wait to see how it goes once school starts and if it's a problem, take it to court?

My question is just what would be the chances of a judge making a change to an earlier Sunday pick up or meeting half way, or her driving them back. If her move isn't something the judge would see as a significant change, it might not be worth changing.

Thanks for the reply! I am open to hearing what you all have to say about this.

 

[LdiJ]

She picks them up from school, once they are released at 2:45, so that won't be an option. And asking her for a change is a battle, no matter how small. Court has been the only way we ever have things changed. I suppose I can just wait to see how it goes once school starts and if it's a problem, take it to court?

My question is just what would be the chances of a judge making a change to an earlier Sunday pick up or meeting half way, or her driving them back. If her move isn't something the judge would see as a significant change, it might not be worth changing.

Thanks for the reply! I am open to hearing what you all have to say about this.

Its not impossible that a judge would have you meet half way for both pickups AND dropoffs. Its also not impossible that a judge would have her meet you half way only on Sunday, since she is creating the extra distance. its also not impossible that a judge would leave things just the way that they are now, or leave things the way that they are now but grant an earlier pickup on Sunday.

In other words, this situation is such that it could go any which way.

I agree with you that getting home at 10 on Sundays, or even 9:30 is not in the best interest of the children. Therefore I don't blame you for wanting to change that.

However, I suspect that the children are going to be losing their midweek with mom, because that 80 miles may not be workable for her...so a judge may be hesitant to cut time out of the weekend.

 

[LdiJ]

This is a bit of an exaggeration... in what part of LA do you live and where did she move to?

Really... Barstow is a 120 mile trip from my house, I go frequently and it never takes me more than 1hr and 15 minutes. So I'd be interested in how you have an almost 2 hr trip to go 80 miles....

And I can be out of the state in 3 hours... Really, you get better answers if you post without the dramatics.

120 miles in 1 hr and 15 minutes? I have a huge "lead foot" and I cannot imagine doing 120 miles in 1 hr and 15 minutes. 60 miles per hour puts 120 miles at 2 hours. Surely you made a typo somewhere? You would have to be driving 120 miles an hour to do it in an hour, and not much less than that to do it in and hour and 15 minutes.

80 miles with Sunday traffic in my area could be an hour and 15 minutes...but even then it would be lead footing it, you would have to have almost all highway and being doing at least 75 the whole way to accomplish that.

However, even 9:45 is late to get home for kids when they have school the next morning.

I don't blame this dad at all for wanting to "tweak" the times or the transportation responsibility.

 

[CourtClerk]

120 miles in 1 hr and 15 minutes? I have a huge "lead foot" and I cannot imagine doing 120 miles in 1 hr and 15 minutes. 60 miles per hour puts 120 miles at 2 hours. Surely you made a typo somewhere? You would have to be driving 120 miles an hour to do it in an hour, and not much less than that to do it in and hour and 15 minutes.

80 miles with Sunday traffic in my area could be an hour and 15 minutes...but even then it would be lead footing it, you would have to have almost all highway and being doing at least 75 the whole way to accomplish that.

Please don't correct me when I say what I say unless you're sitting in my car next to me looking at my speedometer. I said what I said, meant what I said the way I said it and yes, it's all highway - just as the OP's drive will be.

 

[Rushia]

Please don't correct me when I say what I say unless you're sitting in my car next to me looking at my speedometer. I said what I said, meant what I said the way I said it and yes, it's all highway - just as the OP's drive will be.

CC, I'm sorry but unless you have a time warp machine there is NO way that you can cover 120 miles in a touch over an hour without you doing at least 96mph. DH did the math.

 

[CourtClerk]

CC, I'm sorry but unless you have a time warp machine there is NO way that you can cover 120 miles in a touch over an hour without you doing at least 96mph. DH did the math.

Oh yeah... you can - and I never reach 96. It is exactly 118 miles from my driveway to one of my favorite stores. It takes me less than an hour and a half to get there... always. I do the drive. I oughta know. I did it again... just last weekend. I suppose next time I'll call OG and she can time me, although I believe she's been on the phone with me while I was making that drive a time or 2.

Now, I've gotten to Vegas in less than 4 hours.... yes, that requires me to drive pretty fast.

Correction: 115 miles... I just mapquested it.