commuting

[Rushia]

I used to do the same thing with OZ. Fast driving doesn't bother me, but riding someone's tail end does. He'd be really bad about looking at other things when we'd get to a light. Not only would I hit the imaginary brake, a couple of times I literally screamed--saved us from seriously hurting the other party and ourselves.

I'm a pretty boring driver myself (most of the time). That's why I take a book with me and ride as a passenger on rode trips.

I think DH drives too fast and stops to close to the other cars. He's paying attention and hasn't gotten into an accident yet. LOL, I was the one in an accident. I was rear ended by a stupid teenager who was driving around in his brand new truck, playing with his radio doing 40.

 

[LdiJ]

I think DH drives too fast and stops to close to the other cars. He's paying attention and hasn't gotten into an accident yet. LOL, I was the one in an accident. I was rear ended by a stupid teenager who was driving around in his brand new truck, playing with his radio doing 40.

Both my daughter AND her father do the same. I hate being in the car with either one of them. Both of them have been in an accident, but neither one of them were at fault and neither had to do with how closely they follow or how late they wait to break, but it still drives me nuts.

 

[Rushia]

Both my daughter AND her father do the same. I hate being in the car with either one of them. Both of them have been in an accident, but neither one of them were at fault and neither had to do with how closely they follow or how late they wait to break, but it still drives me nuts.

The kid was completely at fault. I was stopped waiting to make a left when he hit me. I'd been sitting there for a few minutes.

 

[fishermanSTEVE]

So why would you have sex with an irrational woman?

Well, she always was a little nuts, but isn't everyone??? After our divorce, her crazy factor shot up about 1000% percent and is now hellbent on being as difficult as possible. (i know, i know, im probably exaggerating and im probably just as bad).

I am sure many people here can relate to this: She was on "good behavior" until we broke up, then the vindictiveness kicked in. I never saw this trait in her with any of her enemies or family members when we were together, so it was a shock. She wanted the divorce because she fell in love with a co-worker (nice!). After that dude left, she was pretty upset and took it out on me. Actually, i have noticed a pattern, when she is single, she is really hard to deal with AND super flakey. When she is in a relationship, she seems somewhat normal.

Yes, i am biased, and yes, i am probably guilty of being somewhat difficult at times as well, although i don't think so. I am a simple man, pretty easy going, and i don't ask for much. However, i think about the kids best interest whereas she thinks about her best interest, or rather, what's not in my best interest. If it benefits both me and the children, she says no. If it benefits her and the children, she says yes. (yeah, i know that it just my opinion).

Why do you say that?
Maybe she thinks you have been irrational.

Yes, she probably would think that. But, i don't bother bringing anything up with her unless i think its in the children's best interest. I would not say that I am irrational. It's not worth the fight. I hate arguing, i hate reading her snappy replies about how we need to stick to the court order, or "just take me to court, dipsh** and see if you will get it" no matter how small the request it is. Seriously, i don't even ask to trade weekends with her anymore because it turns into a huge thing about how i'm disrespectful for wanting to disrupt her plans (not that i even know her plans). C'mon, just say yes or no, and i will accept the answer and get on with my day.

Really? If you dont' worry about until school starts then the children will be dealing with late nights for quite a bit during school. Guess it is not that important.

Well, it is important, that's the reason i came here to find out if it's worth a shot. I would not have spent so much time reading and responding to this if it wasn't important. I stated from the start that my main concern is getting the children in bed at a decent hour. When i said i won't worry about it till school starts, what i meant was, i will try to have a decent conversation with the mom closer to the time that school is about to start (and hope she would be rational, like someone suggested could happen) so that maybe i can pick them up at 7 instead, and if she says no, then get the ball rolling for court.

But, now that you mention it, it would be wise to bring it up sooner than later so that there won't be any problems when school starts. (see, that's why i came here, to get advice like THAT. Someone telling me that waiting till school starts isn't the best idea!). But don't misunderstand my motive here.... it is important for me to get the kids in bed at a decent time.

I've probably said enough now that it can get picked apart even further, and honestly, i wouldn't normally get so personal on a public forum (sometimes you just gotta let it out).

Well, it's actually about time for me to get ready for my first trek down south to her new pad, and who knows, maybe it will be a quick drive and none of this would be an issue afterall. We'll see if they boys sleep the whole way and how easy it is to get them in bed.

Thanks again everyone. I bookmarked this site so i can use it in the future if i ever need to.

 

[CJane]

I'm a little late on this, but EVEN IF it takes 2 hours because someone died on the highway, it's still only 2 nights/month. NOT a significant change in circ. Sorry.

 

[wileybunch]

Barstow is the middle of the desert so not a good comparison to the drive OP is doing in the thick of LA traffic. 405 is terrible at all hours of the day.

OP, I would try to change things up, too, so the kids aren't getting home as late as they will be on Sunday nights during the school year. And, like LDIJ mentioned, you will have to deal with the mid-week visit, too, at least for the school year if there are issues also with late returns.

Keep in mind that if you want to go towards a longer distance parenting arrangement (which this is NOT, but it's not exactly local, either) that you should expect to give up more of the summer time to the NCP.

 

[fishermanSTEVE]

For those following this post, i made the drive last night for the first time.
There wasn't much traffic except here and there. It took 1 hr 50 minutes to get down there, and 2 hrs to get back (we had to make a stop because one had to go to the bathroom).

thanks.
STEVE

 

[Isis1]

For those following this post, i made the drive last night for the first time.
There wasn't much traffic except here and there. It took 1 hr 50 minutes to get down there, and 2 hrs to get back (we had to make a stop because one had to go to the bathroom).

thanks.
STEVE

i'd request a halfway point to meet mom on sundays during school nights.

...geez, CC. you drive fast!!!

oh, and congratulate me. i got my first speeding ticket ever today. i think one of Carl's friends gave it to me