mom left state/ thread was closed/Profmum:

[blackshadow]

Court hearing update!

Well court was today and everything went great. Our daughter is not going to be able to relocate at this time. We are ordered to go to Family court services for a evaluation. If ex does decide to relocate she may do so but daughter is to be in my care until further order.

Ex totally made an ass out of herself and was trying to interrupt me and the magistrate. As she wanted to tell magistrate about irrelevant things. She brought our daughter to court and got her ass reamed.

What exactly happens through the evaluation?

Thanks for all the help and I will keep the forum updated.

 

[Just Blue]

Well court was today and everything went great. Our daughter is not going to be able to relocate at this time. We are ordered to go to Family court services for a evaluation. If ex does decide to relocate she may do so but daughter is to be in my care until further order.

Ex totally made an ass out of herself and was trying to interrupt me and the magistrate. As she wanted to tell magistrate about irrelevant things. She brought our daughter to court and got her ass reamed.

What exactly happens through the evaluation?

Thanks for all the help and I will keep the forum updated.

Hey!!! Congrats!!!! Too bad Mom acted like an ass...But I am very glad your child will remain in the state. Did the issue with the step-GP's come up? What did the magistrate have to say about that??

 

[blackshadow]

Hey!!! Congrats!!!! Too bad Mom acted like an ass...But I am very glad your child will remain in the state. Did the issue with the step-GP's come up? What did the magistrate have to say about that??

Thanks Blue! Yes it did and the magistrate is not happy and again reamed her ass out. Magistrate was very happy with the way I handled Ex's stupidity and just kept it to the best interest of daughter. When magistrate left the chambers for a minute to get the papers regarding family court services ex started to try to argue with me. She states that I'm trying to hurt our daughter. It clearly shows in court that is not what I'm trying to do and the magistrate knows it.

What usually happens at the evaluation?

 

[Just Blue]

Thanks Blue! Yes it did and the magistrate is not happy and again reamed her ass out. Magistrate was very happy with the way I handled Ex's stupidity and just kept it to the best interest of daughter. When magistrate left the chambers for a minute to get the papers regarding family court services ex started to try to argue with me. She states that I'm trying to hurt our daughter. It clearly shows in court that is not what I'm trying to do and the magistrate knows it.

What usually happens at the evaluation?

I'm not sure...I sent a pm to OG to check out your update.

 

[blackshadow]

I'm not sure...I sent a pm to OG to check out your update.

Thank you!

 

[Ohiogal]

Thanks Blue! Yes it did and the magistrate is not happy and again reamed her *** out. Magistrate was very happy with the way I handled Ex's stupidity and just kept it to the best interest of daughter. When magistrate left the chambers for a minute to get the papers regarding family court services ex started to try to argue with me. She states that I'm trying to hurt our daughter. It clearly shows in court that is not what I'm trying to do and the magistrate knows it.

What usually happens at the evaluation?

Family court services can do a variety of things -- mediation, arrange for a GAL to be appointed or arrange for other services. Were you found in contempt for picking up your daughter at the stepgrandparents? Or did it happen as I said it would pretty much? Please watch your language.

 

[CJane]

Wow. You're awfully excited about that reaming Mom got. Nice to know you're focused on the kid and not on punishing Mom.

 

[Just Blue]

Wow. You're awfully excited about that reaming Mom got. Nice to know you're focused on the kid and not on punishing Mom.

CJ...You are not being fair. You, yourself, have been thrilled when one of your ex's has been smacked down in court for their behavior.

 

[mommyof4]

CJ...You are not being fair. You, yourself, have been thrilled when one of your ex's has been smacked down in court for their behavior.

Hey, I know that when my ex was an idiot in court and the judge smacked him down, I and my atty actually laughed.

Even though my primary focus was about making sure my daughter was protected, after 4 years of crap and having to deal with his and his wife's lies, to finally get someone to put an end to it was an absolutely joyful moment.

It didn't change my focus, but I sure didn't feel guilty for being happy that he finally got his comeupance, either. I STILL don't feel guilty and STILL giggle whenever I think about that moment in the courtroom. We're talking 7 years and 10 months later. The judge flat out told him he NEVER wanted to see my ex back in his courtroom again and that if he did, my ex would not be happy with the results. I don't know what was the better. The look of absolute fear and terror on my ex's face or the look of absolute rage on his wife's. Guess what? We've never been back in court. It put a stop to the drama.

 

[profmum]

Hey, I know that when my ex was an idiot in court and the judge smacked him down, I and my atty actually laughed.

Even though my primary focus was about making sure my daughter was protected, after 4 years of crap and having to deal with his and his wife's lies, to finally get someone to put an end to it was an absolutely joyful moment.

It didn't change my focus, but I sure didn't feel guilty for being happy that he finally got his comeupance, either. I STILL don't feel guilty and STILL giggle whenever I think about that moment in the courtroom. We're talking 7 years and 10 months later. The judge flat out told him he NEVER wanted to see my ex back in his courtroom again and that if he did, my ex would not be happy with the results. I don't know what was the better. The look of absolute fear and terror on my ex's face or the look of absolute rage on his wife's. Guess what? We've never been back in court. It put a stop to the drama.

I am waiting for that moment myself! Xfiles has had a few smackdowns already but nothing he has taken seriously.. well we are 2.5 year into this crap so maybe I have to reach the 4 year mark as well! But agree that the moment of sheer unadulterated grins and giggles when observing a
smackdown" is well earned for those of us who are reasonable and loving parents who have selfish and immature coparents!

 

[CJane]

CJ...You are not being fair. You, yourself, have been thrilled when one of your ex's has been smacked down in court for their behavior.

It's not about being fair.

If you'll remember correctly, my gleefulness at SuperEx's apparent smackdown in court came back to haunt me and I spent from January of 2008 to August of that same year only seeing my kids 2 overnights/month. Something that was almost solely related to my level of happiness/arrogance at what I preceived as his getting his azz handed to him in court a couple of months prior.

Yes, I managed to fight back and get almost all of that time returned to me, but as you well know, it was a LONG HAUL and it cost me and my children dearly - and yes, I can admit that a LOT of what was happening THEN was about punishing the ex for not following the order as exactly as I thought he should, and not so much about letting things go if my kids aren't being harmed.

So no, I'm not being fair. But if OP has a brain in his head, he'll cool his gloating and concentrate on his CHILD instead of his EX - which is all I've TRIED to get him to do from his first post here. And OP has yet, to my knowledge, to be able to articulate WHY the decisions he's making are in his child's best interests - only that he's making the 'correct legal choice'. Which is fine, as far as that goes, but it definitely concerns me that his 'heart' is in punishing X, and not in 'protecting' princess.

 

[profmum]

It's not about being fair.

If you'll remember correctly, my gleefulness at SuperEx's apparent smackdown in court came back to haunt me and I spent from January of 2008 to August of that same year only seeing my kids 2 overnights/month. Something that was almost solely related to my level of happiness/arrogance at what I preceived as his getting his azz handed to him in court a couple of months prior.

Yes, I managed to fight back and get almost all of that time returned to me, but as you well know, it was a LONG HAUL and it cost me and my children dearly - and yes, I can admit that a LOT of what was happening THEN was about punishing the ex for not following the order as exactly as I thought he should, and not so much about letting things go if my kids aren't being harmed.

So no, I'm not being fair. But if OP has a brain in his head, he'll cool his gloating and concentrate on his CHILD instead of his EX - which is all I've TRIED to get him to do from his first post here. And OP has yet, to my knowledge, to be able to articulate WHY the decisions he's making are in his child's best interests - only that he's making the 'correct legal choice'. Which is fine, as far as that goes, but it definitely concerns me that his 'heart' is in punishing X, and not in 'protecting' princess.

CJane I completely agree with you about not "gloating" and about letting thing slide and not hauling the ex back into court every time he is non compliant with the CO.. I have the same ex and if I were to EVER file a motion let alone contempt I would have list of CO defiances by Xfiles a mile long! I think what you say is very sage advice and I have always maintained on this forum you never know what a judge can do/how they may rule. So no outcome or expected outcome is set in stone and anything is possible!

What you say is a perspective and outcome that we have not really discussed on this forum. Can you share why you went from being the parent with the majority parenting time to getting only 2 overnights/ month? that is a really significant change?

 

[CJane]

What you say is a perspective and outcome that we have not really discussed on this forum. Can you share why you went from being the parent with the majority parenting time to getting only 2 overnights/ month? that is a really significant change?

It's a very long story, but essentially, I filed contempt against SuperEx, he hired a 'father's rights attorney' and filed contempt against ME - we went through 2 8 hour days in court and the very last question his attorney asked him was whether or not he wanted sole custody. He said yes. I objected profusely, judge ordered sole physical/legal custody to ex w/me having a 2 hour Wed visit and e/o Friday/Sat.

He did not find EITHER of us in contempt, and dismissed BOTH cases, but still changed custody even though there was no motion to do so in front of the court.

I hired an attorney, and a almost a year later, and a ridiculous amount of money spent by both parties including me buying a house in the girls’ school district, I am back to joint physical, but my time with the kids is on the 40% side of the 60/40 split instead of the 60% side… something that’s actually been not too bad for me or the kids since I can go back to school, work overtime, whatever on the days I DON’T have them.

It also did something else. It made me REALLY think about the kids and about why I was fighting. And ya know what? Two things happened.

1) It now says in the order that SMom (or SDad if there ever happens to be one) has to butt out and let the parents parent the kids, which has been AMAZING – she’s stayed the he** out of my business.

2) I realized that I was really damned tired of fighting. I don’t even care if SuperEx ‘follows’ the order anymore.

We’re getting along really well, and I don’t get copies of the med records every 6 weeks or so to check up on him, and I don’t really care if he lists someone I don’t know as the emergency contact for the school – they call me too, so really who cares?

It was a really horrible and painful lesson, but it served to make us BOTH pull our heads out of our respective azzes and respect the fact that we have to share the girls AND a very very small town (less than 600 people) for at least another decade and it’s up to US how badly that sucks.

/hijack

 

[profmum]

wow!.. what a tale! and an unfortuanate example of how capricious the courts can be. It must have been traumatic for your girls to see you on e/o weekend and have a mid week visit

But you are very right..stay away from the courts unless ABSALOUTELY NECESSARY.. if the other parent drags you to court, defend yourself and the best interests of the kid(s), otherwise leave things be..
I am glad you fought back and now things are almost back to the way they were.. another valuable lesson.. when the courts issue rulings that are capricious, do something about it..

 

[blackshadow]

I had my daughter today for the first time since court last week. It was so nice to see her and spend some time with her as well she was very happy today. I haven't seen my daughter this happy in a long time she tries to be happy when I have her but something seems to get in the way. About an hour ago she text me and told me "thanks for ruining my life", "I hate you" I'm so hurt right now I don't know what to do. I called her and she was just letting me have it telling me that all that I'm trying to do is take her away from her mom and she hates me for it. What do I do? She wants me to talk to her about court and I refuse by telling her "honey I'm not going to tell you about court because you should know nothing about it." It is between your mom and I and I love you very much and so does your mother. "I want nothing but for you to be happy"