reasonable next step

[californiamom3]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA
If once a week 2 hour long visitations have gone well (a matter of opinion) for 3 months,
what would be the reasonable next step?
Half days, full days, weekends?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA
If once a week 2 hour long visitations have gone well (a matter of opinion) for 3 months,
what would be the reasonable next step?
Half days, full days, weekends?

What is the situation? IS CSB involved? Is the parent on a graduated visitation schedule due to not being around? How old is the child? Were the visitation supervised or not supervised?

 

[californiamom3]

Sorry, I forget that I can't expect you guys to remember everybody that comes on here. LOL!
Mom has 100% legal, physical. Dad had court ordered anger mngmt., NA, random drug testing, counseling, DCSS child support, etc. Fled the country 5 years ago.....came back, First 5 visits were supervised, the rest have been unsupervised. Visits are once a week for 2 hours. Dad has called and texted my phone and the girls phone since he's been back...all of which are against the orders. The kids are to iniate all contact.
Previous orders were also that he provide a stable home invironment.
He recenly mentioned that at our next hearing (Sept. 24) he'll be asking for full day visitation. Not sure where he and the kids would go all day considering he doesn't have the "stable home invironment" established. As far as I know he's renting a room somewhere a couple of towns over. Currently he's not allowed to travel with the children. I am unsure of his DL status and his Visa status. Many questions I have for our next hearing.

 

[Ohiogal]

Sorry, I forget that I can't expect you guys to remember everybody that comes on here. LOL!
Mom has 100% legal, physical. Dad had court ordered anger mngmt., NA, random drug testing, counseling, DCSS child support, etc. Fled the country 5 years ago.....came back, First 5 visits were supervised, the rest have been unsupervised. Visits are once a week for 2 hours. Dad has called and texted my phone and the girls phone since he's been back...all of which are against the orders. The kids are to iniate all contact.
Previous orders were also that he provide a stable home invironment.
He recenly mentioned that at our next hearing (Sept. 24) he'll be asking for full day visitation. Not sure where he and the kids would go all day considering he doesn't have the "stable home invironment" established. As far as I know he's renting a room somewhere a couple of towns over. Currently he's not allowed to travel with the children. I am unsure of his DL status and his Visa status. Many questions I have for our next hearing.

Quite frankly he could get half day to full day visitation. After some time where that is working then it would go to overnights.

 

[californiamom3]

Thanks!
I wasn't sure how much the "rule breaking" could effect the next step in visitation.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thanks!
I wasn't sure how much the "rule breaking" could effect the next step in visitation.

It depends on how serious it is. Minor things (emails that don't cause harm or discomfort or are not negative are not going to affect things as much as inappropriate conversation).

 

[californiamom3]

Hmm...I have a ton of innaprpriate conversation emails, but nothing person to person. One that threatens me. (email)
The last time he texted my phone ( i do not have unlimited texting so this costs me money that I do not have) I emailed him with, "Do Not Text my phone, I cannot afford it and it is against the court orders."
He responded with, "What are you going to do about it?"
Fun, fun.

 

[californiamom3]

drop off for visitation

When I drop off the girls for visitation, how long must I wait for him to show?
I have read about making a purchase when we get there and then again when we leave if he doesn't show.

 

[meanyjack]

Not sure where he and the kids would go all day considering he doesn't have the "stable home invironment" established. As far as I know he's renting a room somewhere a couple of towns over.

So you actually DO NOT KNOW anything about his home environment (notice the spelling) to even began to try to pass off as fact (which you did) that he doesn't have a 'stable home invironment (sic).'

It will be up to him to prove it to the court -- not you. As far as the other incidents, what are you trying to accomplish? Do you want him to have more time with the kids or no?

 

[profmum]

When I drop off the girls for visitation, how long must I wait for him to show?
I have read about making a purchase when we get there and then again when we leave if he doesn't show.

30 mins is a reasonable window of time

 

[Ohiogal]

Hmm...I have a ton of innaprpriate conversation emails, but nothing person to person. One that threatens me. (email)
The last time he texted my phone ( i do not have unlimited texting so this costs me money that I do not have) I emailed him with, "Do Not Text my phone, I cannot afford it and it is against the court orders."
He responded with, "What are you going to do about it?"
Fun, fun.

INAPPROPRIATE meaning with the children. Does he act inappropriately with the children? You are secondary to this issue.

 

[Ohiogal]

When I drop off the girls for visitation, how long must I wait for him to show?
I have read about making a purchase when we get there and then again when we leave if he doesn't show.

Depends. Where you meeting? How far is it from his house? Do you call him to see why he is late? Approximately 30 minutes should be the proper amount of time to wait AFTER the pick up time.

 

[californiamom3]

So you actually DO NOT KNOW anything about his home environment (notice the spelling) to even began to try to pass off as fact (which you did) that he doesn't have a 'stable home invironment (sic).'

It will be up to him to prove it to the court -- not you. As far as the other incidents, what are you trying to accomplish? Do you want him to have more time with the kids or no?

I never claimed to be a good speller.
Correct, it is up to him to prove a stable home environment. He was ordered to do so over 5 years ago. I do know that in the 3 months that he's been here in the US he has moved several times. Not so stable. He has quit 3 jobs as soon as DCSS sent a wage assignment. Not so stable. (He did the same overseas)
I was told by a third party (nope, not provable but I plan on asking for verification in court) that he is here on a temp. visa. Not so stable. This 3rd party told me that he holds a bank account overseas and has a return flight ticket. Hmmm. (again, not provable but will be asking in court especially since he has asked me to get passports for kids) I will not ask for forgiveness for being suspicious. My DCSS case worker has also informed me that his temporary license was suspended. DCSS will be at the next hearing so that should be an easy one.
I would not have a problem with the kids having more time with their dad if he were on the up and up, legalities and all. They want to see him.
I was basically wanting to know what to expect from this situation. He has 2 hours once a week now. If he asked for overnights next hearing I would think that to be too much. But I don't know what the "Norm" is so I asked. Somewhere in the middle like half/days or full days would be great for all of them. (If he is legal beagle all is fine with me)