child on the stand?

[Confused Tx Dad]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

Is it possible to put your 14 yr old on the witness stand in a custody battle?

1. he requested it [I'd never dare ask him something like that]
2. a 'counselor' for her side claims that I'm pressuring and coaching him and he feels like he has to be a "reporter" for me to help me in this battle.
3. I need him to explain the so many games she's played on him in her attempts to turn him against me.
4. I've kept a journal for 18 months, 90% of which contains conversations [not questions] between the two of us. From what I understand, this journal is "hearsay" so he must discuss the incidents himself...
5. 14 is 14 but he is 6' 210 lbs, honors classes and has more common sense than most adults in America. It can only help if he testifies [I believe].
6. I'm pro-se What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[RRevak]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

Is it possible to put your 14 yr old on the witness stand in a custody battle?

1. he requested it [I'd never dare ask him something like that]
2. a 'counselor' for her side claims that I'm pressuring and coaching him and he feels like he has to be a "reporter" for me to help me in this battle.
3. I need him to explain the so many games she's played on him in her attempts to turn him against me.
4. I've kept a journal for 18 months, 90% of which contains conversations [not questions] between the two of us. From what I understand, this journal is "hearsay" so he must discuss the incidents himself...
5. 14 is 14 but he is 6' 210 lbs, honors classes and has more common sense than most adults in America. It can only help if he testifies [I believe].
6. I'm pro-se What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Being still a child I would highly doubt the ability for him to be placed on the stand in a custody battle. In fact I would see it as custodial suicide on your part. The child is not part of your battle and therefor needs to be taken out of the equation. If you think she's played games and attempted to turn him against you than the burden of proof is on you, not your son.

 

[mistoffolees]

Being still a child I would highly doubt the ability for him to be placed on the stand in a custody battle. In fact I would see it as custodial suicide on your part. The child is not part of your battle and therefor needs to be taken out of the equation. If you think she's played games and attempted to turn him against you than the burden of proof is on you, not your son.

A lot depends on the 14 year old, but the judge WILL often want to hear what a 14 year old has to say about custody. That child is old enough that their wishes may matter, as long as their thinking process is mature enough (that is, "I have a better school at Dad's house" NOT "Dad lets me do whatever I want") Fortunately, there are other ways to handle it without making it an issue of formal testimony.

1. In some cases, the judge will meet with the child separately so that the parents can not intimidate them.

2. A far better solution is to ask for a custody evaluation to be done by a professional custody evaluator. They are trained to get around the BS and brainwashing that often goes on in cases like this.

 

[RRevak]

A lot depends on the 14 year old, but the judge WILL often want to hear what a 14 year old has to say about custody. That child is old enough that their wishes may matter, as long as their thinking process is mature enough (that is, "I have a better school at Dad's house" NOT "Dad lets me do whatever I want") Fortunately, there are other ways to handle it without making it an issue of formal testimony.

1. In some cases, the judge will meet with the child separately so that the parents can not intimidate them.

2. A far better solution is to ask for a custody evaluation to be done by a professional custody evaluator. They are trained to get around the BS and brainwashing that often goes on in cases like this.

I understand what you're saying but unfortunately I think what dad wants son to tell the judge is just something like that. Maybe thats out of the ball park but when OP states reason for wanting son to step up is "I need him to explain the so many games she's played on him in her attempts to turn him against me", forgive me if it makes me suspicious. I think son being taken aside though might be good if he's insistent. That way he wouldnt feel any unnecessary pressure by either parent.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

Is it possible to put your 14 yr old on the witness stand in a custody battle?

1. he requested it [I'd never dare ask him something like that]
2. a 'counselor' for her side claims that I'm pressuring and coaching him and he feels like he has to be a "reporter" for me to help me in this battle.
3. I need him to explain the so many games she's played on him in her attempts to turn him against me.
4. I've kept a journal for 18 months, 90% of which contains conversations [not questions] between the two of us. From what I understand, this journal is "hearsay" so he must discuss the incidents himself...
5. 14 is 14 but he is 6' 210 lbs, honors classes and has more common sense than most adults in America. It can only help if he testifies [I believe].
6. I'm pro-se What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

1. There are certainly ways to get his views presented without a formal testimony action. See my other post.

2. She can have whatever counselor she wishes, but ultimately, the judge has to decide. You can counter with your own counselor or you can ask for a formal custody evaluation. Also, if her counselor is not trained in adolescence and/or did not formally evaluate the child, her opinion is worthless.

3. Try not to introduce a negative spin (which may be part of what her counselor is suggesting). The judge will be far more likely to accept "home A is a better home for the child and here is why" rather than "home B is not a good home for the child and here is why". Focus on what your relationship with the child offers and NOT on where your stbx falls short.

4. You can testify to anything that you were a witness to. If you overheard a conversation, you can testify as to that, even if you were not part of the conversation. If you were not part of a given conversation, your journal would be hearsay. Your child could also report on anything he witnessed, but not anything he heard second hand.

5. His size is completely irrelevant. I've known some 6' linebackers who weren't very mature and some tiny women who were extremely mature. Focus on what is important - his level of maturity, good grades, etc.

6. It will cost some money, but I would strongly encourage you to ask for a custody evaluation (ours cost about $2,500 if I remember correctly). The way it worked in our case is that one of you recommends 3 names and the other chooses one of the three. If none of the three are acceptable, that person can recommend 3 more names and the first person chooses one or recommends 3 more names - and so on. Of course, I'm in a city where there are plenty of professional custody evaluators so that process worked fine. If you're in a remote area, it may not work that well. Also, you'll need some way to determine which evaluators are acceptable. In my case, my attorney knows all of them, at least by reputation, so she had a good feel for who would be fair and who would be biased. You'll need to find some other way to get that info.

 

[mommyof4]

Just for grins:



http://www.statutes.legis.state.tx.us/?link=FA

Sec. 153.009. INTERVIEW OF CHILD IN CHAMBERS. (a) In a nonjury trial or at a hearing, on the application of a party, the amicus attorney, or the attorney ad litem for the child, the court shall interview in chambers a child 12 years of age or older and may interview in chambers a child under 12 years of age to determine the child's wishes as to conservatorship or as to the person who shall have the exclusive right to determine the child's primary residence. The court may also interview a child in chambers on the court's own motion for a purpose specified by this subsection.

(b) In a nonjury trial or at a hearing, on the application of a party, the amicus attorney, or the attorney ad litem for the child or on the court's own motion, the court may interview the child in chambers to determine the child's wishes as to possession, access, or any other issue in the suit affecting the parent-child relationship.

(c) Interviewing a child does not diminish the discretion of the court in determining the best interests of the child.

(d) In a jury trial, the court may not interview the child in chambers regarding an issue on which a party is entitled to a jury verdict.

(e) In any trial or hearing, the court may permit the attorney for a party, the amicus attorney, the guardian ad litem for the child, or the attorney ad litem for the child to be present at the interview.

(f) On the motion of a party, the amicus attorney, or the attorney ad litem for the child, or on the court's own motion, the court shall cause a record of the interview to be made when the child is 12 years of age or older. A record of the interview shall be part of the record in the case.

 

[mistoffolees]

I understand what you're saying but unfortunately I think what dad wants son to tell the judge is just something like that. Maybe thats out of the ball park but when OP states reason for wanting son to step up is "I need him to explain the so many games she's played on him in her attempts to turn him against me", forgive me if it makes me suspicious.

I agree and felt the same way - which is why I made the point I did.

 

[Confused Tx Dad]

(d) In a jury trial, the court may not interview the child in chambers regarding an issue on which a party is entitled to a jury verdict.

I filed a motion for the judge to confer with the children and we're scheduled for a hearing on the 23rd, just 5 days before our trial date. But, if this is "the law", can the judge deviate from this, even if he wants to?

Maybe a little more knowlege would be helpful for me. Exactly what decisions can the jury make and what decisions does the judge make in a jury trial?

 

[mommyof4]

I filed a motion for the judge to confer with the children and we're scheduled for a hearing on the 23rd, just 5 days before our trial date. But, if this is "the law", can the judge deviate from this, even if he wants to?

Maybe a little more knowlege would be helpful for me. Exactly what decisions can the jury make and what decisions does the judge make in a jury trial?

So you have a jury trial? In that case, the jury must be privy to all testimony rendered.

You really need to think about what you are wanting to happen. Are you prepared to actually watch your child testify in front of the jury, you and Mom? I can only imagine that testifying on the stand and having to face the parent he is testifying 'againt' is going to rip him to shreds.

Further, you really need to consider what the judge is going to think about your 'eagerness' (for lack of a better word) to have Junior testify in your behalf against his mother. Depending on what Junior actually testifies to, this could really, really backfire on you.

Did you request a jury trial?

 

[Confused Tx Dad]

yes, it is a difficult situation. My son despirately wants to live with me. His mom is playing the game perfectly. My back's against the wall and I'm not sure what to do. I do not want to have to put him on the stand, even though HE requested it several months ago with no provocation.

But, if everything he's complained to me about regarding the games his mom [and grandma] have been playing in attempts to turn him against me over the past 18 months is considered "hearsay", and the judge cannot speak to him because it's a jury trial... I'm kinda stuck between piles of excrement.

 

[mistoffolees]

yes, it is a difficult situation. My son despirately wants to live with me. His mom is playing the game perfectly. My back's against the wall and I'm not sure what to do. I do not want to have to put him on the stand, even though HE requested it several months ago with no provocation.

But, if everything he's complained to me about regarding the games his mom [and grandma] have been playing in attempts to turn him against me over the past 18 months is considered "hearsay", and the judge cannot speak to him because it's a jury trial... I'm kinda stuck between piles of excrement.

No, you're not. Request a continuance and ask for a custody evaluation by a professional.

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

Is it possible to put your 14 yr old on the witness stand in a custody battle?

1. he requested it [I'd never dare ask him something like that]
2. a 'counselor' for her side claims that I'm pressuring and coaching him and he feels like he has to be a "reporter" for me to help me in this battle.
3. I need him to explain the so many games she's played on him in her attempts to turn him against me.
4. I've kept a journal for 18 months, 90% of which contains conversations [not questions] between the two of us. From what I understand, this journal is "hearsay" so he must discuss the incidents himself...
5. 14 is 14 but he is 6' 210 lbs, honors classes and has more common sense than most adults in America. It can only help if he testifies [I believe].
6. I'm pro-se What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

If you believe that it's proper to have your child testify in a custody trial, you don't deserve custody. Shame on you.

 

[Confused Tx Dad]

ummm yes I am. We've already had a Social Study done. He recommended that she be the primary parent, despite his admission to me that she is a habitual liar and is wrong for manipulating our kids, especially the oldest.

Sadly, I didn't find out until after the study when I went to the court mandated parenting class, but when I looked in the back of the book where lists of professionals offering services are listed, of the 50+ names/ph numbers, only 1 had a double listing of 2 names with 1 phone number [partners]. The names were Bill Roberts [her dad's family attorney and the attny who represented her during our temp orders hearing], and Ron Stone... the guy who performed the social study.

Fortunately, he did note a lot of negatives for her and positives for me in his report, but he still recommended her as primary.

 

[mistoffolees]

If you believe that it's proper to have your child testify in a custody trial, you don't deserve custody. Shame on you.

That is absolutely an untrue statement.

There are scenarios where a 14 year old should be able to express his opinion. Properly handled, it is perfectly reasonable to ask a 14 year old to speak.

That's not to say that putting a 14 year old into an adversarial position with one or both parents is a good idea, but the blanket statement that asking a child to testify means the parent doesn't deserve custody is just plain wrong, as well.

 

[mistoffolees]

ummm yes I am. We've already had a Social Study done. He recommended that she be the primary parent, despite his admission to me that she is a habitual liar and is wrong for manipulating our kids, especially the oldest.

Sadly, I didn't find out until after the study when I went to the court mandated parenting class, but when I looked in the back of the book where lists of professionals offering services are listed, of the 50+ names/ph numbers, only 1 had a double listing of 2 names with 1 phone number [partners]. The names were Bill Roberts [her dad's family attorney and the attny who represented her during our temp orders hearing], and Ron Stone... the guy who performed the social study.

Fortunately, he did note a lot of negatives for her and positives for me in his report, but he still recommended her as primary.

If the study was court-ordered and sanctioned, then you're probably stuck. The court isn't going to be interested in the fact that you didn't do your homework. If it was simply a study done by her without court approval, you might have a chance-- you could ask the court to order a professional custody evaluator with no ties to either party.

You certainly have the right to try to discredit the professional by bringing in the list of professionals and showing that he was biased. You could then show that the conclusions are not supported by the factual statements. However, simply the fact that there are a lot of negatives but he still recommended her for custody is not inconsistent. EVERYONE has negatives. Furthermore, in most jurisdictions, the willingness of a parent to support the other parent is a key factor in the decision and you're coming across as being very strongly against her parenting role so that may have hurt you.

All of the above is a good example of why I don't recommend that people handle divorce cases pro se. At this late date, you really don't have a lot of options, but a good lawyer MIGHT still have time to straighten it out.