Here I go again...opinions/suggestions please...

[Raisingmaddy]

What is the name of your state -Washington

Ok, so it has been an interesting evening since my last post but now I have a new question.

Little background info - My ex and I have three kiddos together. We have joint legal custody, and I am primary provider. They see him two weekends of every month, rotating holidays, and two weeks out of each summer month. He also lives about five hours away.

I do call him several times a week and give him updates on the kids, and tell him about all events that I am aware of. This is all done verbally. I will admit that I am not perfect and do occasionally forget to call him and tell him about some things.

Well...he is very angry with me at the moment and of course is threatening all kinds of future legal events for me.

So, to my actual question...as the primary parent am I obligated to notify him of EVERY single thing that goes on such as school events, picture day, etc. ?Believe me, I do try, and like I said I DO call him a couple times a week and give him details of everything I can possibly think of.

Now he is trying to say that isn't the case, I am gonna have to re-think the verbal and start using e-mail...but can he take me to court and could he use it against me if I forget some detail or since he IS ABLE to get the information himself shouldn't he be responsible for it???

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely don't mind getting him info because I want him as involved with our kiddos as much as he possibly can be, I just don't want him to try to use it against me if I miss something as that is what he is implying...

Let me know what you think, I appreciate it

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

I would start emailing yes. But you can also get from the phone company a copy of the phone history. Request a copy of all calls coming in/out from your phone number. Then when he claims you arent in contact he is proven false.

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state -Washington

Ok, so it has been an interesting evening since my last post but now I have a new question.

Little background info - My ex and I have three kiddos together. We have joint legal custody, and I am primary provider. They see him two weekends of every month, rotating holidays, and two weeks out of each summer month. He also lives about five hours away.

I do call him several times a week and give him updates on the kids, and tell him about all events that I am aware of. This is all done verbally. I will admit that I am not perfect and do occasionally forget to call him and tell him about some things.

Well...he is very angry with me at the moment and of course is threatening all kinds of future legal events for me.

So, to my actual question...as the primary parent am I obligated to notify him of EVERY single thing that goes on such as school events, picture day, etc. ?Believe me, I do try, and like I said I DO call him a couple times a week and give him details of everything I can possibly think of.

Now he is trying to say that isn't the case, I am gonna have to re-think the verbal and start using e-mail...but can he take me to court and could he use it against me if I forget some detail or since he IS ABLE to get the information himself shouldn't he be responsible for it???

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely don't mind getting him info because I want him as involved with our kiddos as much as he possibly can be, I just don't want him to try to use it against me if I miss something as that is what he is implying...

Let me know what you think, I appreciate it

okay lady. seriously. i want you to read this outloud. 10 times.

i am not this man's secretary.
i am not this man's secretary.
i am not this man's secretary.
i am not this man's secretary.
i am not this man's secretary.

then say it louder....

i am not this man's secretary.
i am not this man's secretary.
i am not this man's secretary.
i am not this man's secretary.
i am not this man's secretary.

anytime this man starts a sentence with "i want"...hang up.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

okay lady. seriously. i want you to read this outloud. 10 times.

i am not this man's secretary.
i am not this man's secretary.
i am not this man's secretary.
i am not this man's secretary.
i am not this man's secretary.

then say it louder....

i am not this man's secretary.
i am not this man's secretary.
i am not this man's secretary.
i am not this man's secretary.
i am not this man's secretary.

anytime this man starts a sentence with "i want"...hang up.

Lol, thank you...I just can't tell when his threats are baseless. I really apreciate your input!!!

 

[RRevak]

Lol, thank you...I just can't tell when his threats are baseless. I really apreciate your input!!!

I agree with Isa. I too have that ex that likes to make demanding calls so I feel your pain . Sometimes the threats hold water, most of the time they dont. I've learned to just breathe and take everything he says with a grain of salt (with a lot of uh huh and mm hmm and a few "well i'm sorry you feel that way"s) and if he's for real than I deal with it. If not then i'm not working myself up for nothing. Adopt a mantra and stick with it, trust me it works LOL. Mine is something along the lines of "I will NOT let this bonehead get to me I will NOT let this bonehead get to me"

 

[thieneyes]

Fyi -

My fiance and his ex's (unmarried) original custody order stated that HE had to inform her of school events, dr etc. Given her history, his lawyer changed the wording, provided her a copy, signed off on by the judge etc that explicitly states that SHE may contact the school for updates, speak with teachers and can contact the dr for copy of medical records. This takes the burden off of him ro supply her with every little detail if she is being lazy. She is also responsible for facilitating any phone calls that she wishes to have with their child.