Constant problems......

[meghamann]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wisconsin

My children's father's girlfriend has been a constant problem. It is like she is trying to take the role as mother even thought my kids cannot stand her. Their father lets her do all the talking and decision making all the time and it has made the kids so furious they have told their dad I guess that she wears the pants in their relationship. They are getting in trouble when with their father because they do not respect his girlfriend at all.

Anways a few things that have happened lately include the following:

My son's inhaler has printed on it ID only (and then says their dad's name and his girlfriend's name on it) can pick up, so I would be unable to pick up prescriptions if I needed to. The other day one of my son's teacher emailed me and informed me about a project due and that a black notebook and folder was needed. His dad was told the same thing and his dad's girlfriend told him they werent getting it because supplies were already bought and it should have been on the list. This was part of a homework assignment mind you so I bought what he needed. The minute my son walked in his dad's house his dad's gfriend snatched the notebook and folder from him and said you're not taking this to school and his dad and she said that I didn't need to be buying anything for him. My son told his teacher and asked her that it not be considered late and the next night I went to their open house and brought another notebook and folder and spoke to the teacher. A similiar incident happened last year where the girlfriend took a fash drive I bought for my son because his teacher asked that they have one and she wouldn't let him take it to school. Another incident that happened today was the father went to their school before school was done and had them change out of their clothes and into crappy ones because I was getting them from school. I also found out that the GAL had a conference with the father's girlfriend but yet the GAL never calls my lawyer back or returns my calls or emails. My kids have sent emails to the GAL and they found out that those emails were immediately shared with their dad and his girlfriend and now they are mad at the GAL because she told them everything they told her would be kept confidential.

Am I just being petty? Is there anything I can do or should do? Sorry for it being so long. I am just sick of all of this and feel really bad for the kids. I mean how embarrassing for all of these incidences to happen at school where friends and teachers see and know.

Thanks in advance.

 

[ecmst12]

Well, the kids need to respect the GF as an adult when they are at his house. She is an authority figure and when they are there, if dad says she can make the rules, then kids have to listen. And you should support dad in this - they shouldn't get the idea that they can choose which adults they listen to and which they don't.

However she is obviously WAY overstepping, trying to make decisions about school and medical situations. That is something you need to get dad to deal with. Don't talk to the kids about it and try to keep them as far away from your fights with dad as you can, this is between the parents.

 

[meghamann]

I have tried talking to the father and whenever I leave messages for him he calls me back when his girlfriend is in the background and tells me whatever she says to him. We were ordered to do communication counseling and I already attended one session by myself and am waiting to attend the session where both of us will be there. Do you think this would be a good time to mention all of this? That way it is in front of an impartial third party as well as his girlfriend not being there?

 

[ecmst12]

That sounds like an ideal place for the conversation. Meantime, when you talk to him, ask (politely) that he go someplace private so that you can both focus on talking to each other, instead of anyone else in the room.

 

[LdiJ]

Well, the kids need to respect the GF as an adult when they are at his house. She is an authority figure and when they are there, if dad says she can make the rules, then kids have to listen. And you should support dad in this - they shouldn't get the idea that they can choose which adults they listen to and which they don't.

However she is obviously WAY overstepping, trying to make decisions about school and medical situations. That is something you need to get dad to deal with. Don't talk to the kids about it and try to keep them as far away from your fights with dad as you can, this is between the parents.

I agree that the kids need to respect the girlfriend as an adult in dad's house. I absolutely do NOT agree that mom should support dad's allowing her to make the rules. She should not allow the children to think that they do not have to follow the rules at dad's house, but in no way should she support dad in this.

 

[cyjeff]

Dad's present girlfriend has no authority over the children whatsoever.

This needs to be made very plain.