Telephone Calls & Schooling

[allwipedout]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

(While my daughter and I have been living in Florida for approximately 10 years, the custody case took place in Oregon.)

In my custody papers it states that I have "sole care, custody and control of the minor child".

At the time of our custody determination, I created our Parenting Plan, which included visitation for Grandparents as I wanted to ensure that my father would be able to see my daughter while she was visiting her Father for the summers, etc. So, Grandparents were purposefully granted visitation rights. My ex also had a stipulation regarding phone contact included in the Court Order that states:

"Any person having residential time with XXXX on a Sunday evening shall keep the phone line free each Sunday from 7 pm to 8pm, according to the time zone in which XXXX is located, and shall make XXXX available for telephone calls from the child's other relatives who have been granted visitation or residential time with XXXX. In addition, XXXX's relatives shall have the right to telephone the child during reasonable hours and with reasonable frequency."

Due my daughter's frequent traveling and that we wanted her to be able to communicate with her family and friends on a regular basis my husband and I bought her a cell phone several years ago, and there really has not been a problem with communication until recently. So, if anyone wants to speak with my daughter, she has her own phone number for them to contact her at.

My question is, does the wording of the Court Order make it so that my daughter has to speak with her Grandparents whenever they call? Or does she have to talk to them every Sunday night if they call at the directed time?

My next question is regarding school issues. This last school year I have started homeschooling my kids, and so far things have gone well, but my daughter's Father and his parents are putting pressure on my daughter to go back to public school for high school. While I did speak with the Father before the final decision was made to homeschool our daughter, and he agreed to doing so, he wants her to go back to public school for high school. If the Father does not agree to her continuing homeschool once she reaches high school age, do I have to put her back into public school?

Thank you very much for any advice you can provide!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

(While my daughter and I have been living in Florida for approximately 10 years, the custody case took place in Oregon.)

In my custody papers it states that I have "sole care, custody and control of the minor child".

At the time of our custody determination, I created our Parenting Plan, which included visitation for Grandparents as I wanted to ensure that my father would be able to see my daughter while she was visiting her Father for the summers, etc. So, Grandparents were purposefully granted visitation rights. My ex also had a stipulation regarding phone contact included in the Court Order that states:

"Any person having residential time with XXXX on a Sunday evening shall keep the phone line free each Sunday from 7 pm to 8pm, according to the time zone in which XXXX is located, and shall make XXXX available for telephone calls from the child's other relatives who have been granted visitation or residential time with XXXX. In addition, XXXX's relatives shall have the right to telephone the child during reasonable hours and with reasonable frequency."

Due my daughter's frequent traveling and that we wanted her to be able to communicate with her family and friends on a regular basis my husband and I bought her a cell phone several years ago, and there really has not been a problem with communication until recently. So, if anyone wants to speak with my daughter, she has her own phone number for them to contact her at.

My question is, does the wording of the Court Order make it so that my daughter has to speak with her Grandparents whenever they call? Or does she have to talk to them every Sunday night if they call at the directed time?

My next question is regarding school issues. This last school year I have started homeschooling my kids, and so far things have gone well, but my daughter's Father and his parents are putting pressure on my daughter to go back to public school for high school. While I did speak with the Father before the final decision was made to homeschool our daughter, and he agreed to doing so, he wants her to go back to public school for high school. If the Father does not agree to her continuing homeschool once she reaches high school age, do I have to put her back into public school?

Thank you very much for any advice you can provide!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

From the wording, it does look like she has to talk to them if they call on Sunday nights, but there is nothing requiring her to talk for any specific length of time. She is not required to talk to them at any other time.

As far as the homeschooling is concerned, dad agreed to the change to homeschooling, therefore dad cannot arbitrarily make you go back to regular school. He could however, take it to court and then the judge would decide. Homeschooling is well regarded in FL, I don't know about OR.

 

[allwipedout]

Thank you LdiJ for your response

I will make sure to let my daughter know that she has to talk to them if they call at the directed time, but not the other times. Fortunately, right now I do not think they remember the directed times since I can't remember the last time they called at that time, but they do call quite frequently at other hours.

I am reminding her though, that she does have to keep the peace with them since that is where she primarily stays during her summer visits.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you LdiJ for your response

I will make sure to let my daughter know that she has to talk to them if they call at the directed time, but not the other times. Fortunately, right now I do not think they remember the directed times since I can't remember the last time they called at that time, but they do call quite frequently at other hours.

I am reminding her though, that she does have to keep the peace with them since that is where she primarily stays during her summer visits.

I did however make an error regarding the homeschooling. That is completely your decision because you have sole custody. You did not need dad's agreement nor will you need his agreement to keep doing it if it works out well for your child.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Here in Florida, there is "virtual" school available to all the school aged children. Basically, they can get all their schooling thru the internet. With that, the other parent can actually SEE what the children are learning.

 

[allwipedout]

I did however make an error regarding the homeschooling. That is completely your decision because you have sole custody. You did not need dad's agreement nor will you need his agreement to keep doing it if it works out well for your child.

Oh good, I am very happy to hear that! My daughter has been doing well with homeschool, and while it is still a couple of years away, as of now she would like to continue homeschooling rather than going back to public school.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you LdiJ for your response

I will make sure to let my daughter know that she has to talk to them if they call at the directed time, but not the other times. Fortunately, right now I do not think they remember the directed times since I can't remember the last time they called at that time, but they do call quite frequently at other hours.

I am reminding her though, that she does have to keep the peace with them since that is where she primarily stays during her summer visits.

Actually she doesn't have to talk to them. It says she must be available for the calls. She can decide she doesn't want to talk and tell her grandparents or anyone else that she does not want to talk. NO ONE can force her to talk. She is not a party to the court order. She is a child and the parties are mom and dad -- mom and dad must make the child available at those times.

 

[allwipedout]

Here in Florida, there is "virtual" school available to all the school aged children. Basically, they can get all their schooling thru the internet. With that, the other parent can actually SEE what the children are learning.

My daughter is actually taking a couple of classes through FLVS. I have always kept her Father up to date on how she is doing in school, although he has not shown any interest yet in signing up for a parent account on FLVS to see how she is doing.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I think the parent account is great! That's why I mentioned it.

 

[allwipedout]

Actually she doesn't have to talk to them. It says she must be available for the calls. She can decide she doesn't want to talk and tell her grandparents or anyone else that she does not want to talk. NO ONE can force her to talk. She is not a party to the court order. She is a child and the parties are mom and dad -- mom and dad must make the child available at those times.

This is good to hear. I was not sure if it was like when a child does not want to visit a parent, but has to because it is in the Court Order. I will tell her it will be at her discretion if she wants to speak with her Grandparents or not, but I will definitely keep encouraging her to at least speak with them for a few minutes.

 

[LdiJ]

Actually she doesn't have to talk to them. It says she must be available for the calls. She can decide she doesn't want to talk and tell her grandparents or anyone else that she does not want to talk. NO ONE can force her to talk. She is not a party to the court order. She is a child and the parties are mom and dad -- mom and dad must make the child available at those times.

I don't know if I agree on the Sunday night situation. That is a designated telephone visitation, court ordered in their parenting plan. I agree for any calls made at any other time however.

I personally believe that the child should not have to talk at all if she doesn't want to, but I don't think that we can be certain that mom wouldn't get dinged by the judge if the child didn't have at least a brief conversation if they call at the designated time on Sundays.

 

[Ohiogal]

I don't know if I agree on the Sunday night situation. That is a designated telephone visitation, court ordered in their parenting plan. I agree for any calls made at any other time however.

I personally believe that the child should not have to talk at all if she doesn't want to, but I don't think that we can be certain that mom wouldn't get dinged by the judge if the child didn't have at least a brief conversation if they call at the designated time on Sundays.

The child would be having a brief conversation if she told grandma and grandpa that she didn't want to talk to them at that time, or that she had nothing to say but hello and goodbye. The child needs to tell grandma/grandpa that the child has nothing to say and doesn't want to talk. Hence they have had a conversation and proven that the child is available.

 

[allwipedout]

To be on the safe side, I have told my daughter that she does need to answer the phone if they call on Sunday between 7-8pm, but she only has to talk as long as she wants to.

Thank you to everyone for your input, I greatly appreciate it!