Judge seems dirty, please help!

[LdiJ]

You can't appeal because you don't like the court order.

Well, technically you can, you just won't get anywhere with it.

 

[TheGeekess]

It amazes me that people say these things. After countless discussions with my stepdaughter, you go ask her who she wants to call daddy. In this household, I am daddy. We are all fully aware of the biological divisions, but honestly, we don't give a crap. She gets locked in the dark and such when she is with her father. He has given her alcohol...she is 8 now, but was 5 at the incident. I know all the rules about biological and step parents. Answer me this then.. why am I the one providing medical insurance, money for extra curricular activities, daycare, and the list goes on and on, but no one wants to look at that. All people see is that we arent genetically linked. IF that were the case, we sould all be in hell after this life because even Jesus Christ operates out of adoption and acceptance... please get off of the bio/step discussion. We are simply trying to protect a little girl...genetically related or not.

You're not getting it, are you? As a step-parent, you have NO LEGAL RIGHTS. Not even if. There is no statute in the Alabama Code that supports the position that step-parents have legal rights.

If you can talk Dad into doing a termination of his parental rights and you adopt StepGirl, then you will have legal rights. Until then, you do not have any rights.

 

[pepperdill]

I agree with the OP. Just because you have no legal right does not mean you are not a parent to that child. If you really love them and they love you and everything is good then why not. People really do need to get off the whole "step parent" thing. The OP was not asking for any advise about being a step parent, the OP was asking advise about his kid. When you marry someone with kids that doesnt mean you are just a babysitter or your just warming up the bed. married means "as 1". a family means "as 1".

 

[Isis1]

I agree with the OP. Just because you have no legal right does not mean you are not a parent to that child. If you really love them and they love you and everything is good then why not. People really do need to get off the whole "step parent" thing. The OP was not asking for any advise about being a step parent, the OP was asking advise about his kid. When you marry someone with kids that doesnt mean you are just a babysitter or your just warming up the bed. married means "as 1". a family means "as 1".

um...are you really sure you want to argue that point? or are just bored and are trying to incite a riot, oreocheese?

 

[pepperdill]

I just feel very strongly about parents/step parents who want to help children but people are so stuck on the no legal right about step parents. If someone ask's about someting not regarding anything about being a step parent dont say anythng about that. Thats rude.

 

[Just Blue]

I am not oreocheese, so please stop calling me that.

Sure you are. Admin is verifying it right now...

 

[Isis1]

Sure you are. Admin is verifying it right now...

OoOOoo, bad girl!! ip addresses

 

[Proserpina]

I agree with the OP. Just because you have no legal right does not mean you are not a parent to that child. If you really love them and they love you and everything is good then why not. People really do need to get off the whole "step parent" thing. The OP was not asking for any advise about being a step parent, the OP was asking advise about his kid. When you marry someone with kids that doesnt mean you are just a babysitter or your just warming up the bed. married means "as 1". a family means "as 1".

Which is fine.

Except it's not his kid. Period.

 

[Proserpina]

I just feel very strongly about parents/step parents who want to help children but people are so stuck on the no legal right about step parents. If someone ask's about someting not regarding anything about being a step parent dont say anythng about that. Thats rude.

And of course you'll be here to help them mop up the tears after their spouse loses custody and/or visitation rights?

Because they couldn't get past the indignation at being told they have no legal rights or input in the situation? Their indignation was worth more than the actual welfare of the child?

Did you actually bother to read that one post where someone spoke from very painful experience in the hopes of preventing it from happening to someone else?

 

[TheGeekess]

OP, you always have the option of voting against the 'dirty judge' and supporting his opponent.

Outside of that, your wife can petition the courts to revisit the custody/visitation issue.

 

[Ohiogal]

You need to understand that I am not only a stepparent, but a husband, and my wife and I are on the same page. I think that people like you should understand that my wife got remarried. That means that I am her REAL husband. I am entitled to collect as much information as I can to help her as I stinking want to. I also have a major in counseling and I gather that you have probably had to share your kids with a stepparent. I am not saying this for sure, but your matter of factness tends to say that. We have rights as husbands and wives to help our spouses and help these children get protected. If I found out that you were abusing your child, I'd advocate for them as well..

LEGALLY you are not the daddy. LEGALLY you are no one.
LEGALLY the evidence was not presented properly. The child should have had a GAL appointed. The people that WROTE the reports should have been called as witnesses to testify. The reports are inadmissible as hearsay. The social worker's testimony was hearsay if she witnessed nothing. Hearsay of that sort is NOT admissible Hence it was all excluded properly. Your major in counseling is worth NOTHING in court. I have a law degree and law license. That trumps you every time when it comes to court hearings. I am an attorney/GAL who represents children.

If you ever actually work as a counselor you would be a mandated reporter. Or you would lose your job and face criminal charges if you did not report. Understand? You don't get it. This is about the legalities of which you are showing amazing stupidity -- not just ignorance but stupidity.

 

[moldableman]

you are not legally required to provide for the child. ever. mom and dad are. now, you chose to provide bonus tips for your wife for sharing a bed and providing benefits...then that's a non-legal agreement between you and her.

separation of church and state.

So is it legal to request he pay for medical and daycare even though I have been providing it? This seems like a jerk move to me. It is much more affordable for me to provide it than for him due to the fact that I have been medically retired from the army. It would just be spiteful to require him to cover her, but I am at the point now that the guy is so matter of fact about what his rights are that I feel that he should carry ALL of his responsibilities. He has no problem slandering mom and I, but he shirks any and all conversations about medical, daycare, missed child support, and pretty much anything else that would put more responsibility on him. Even though he deserves it, I can't look my STEP daughter in the eye and say," Hey! I decided not to take you to the doctor anymore because your father is a jerk and I don't feel like carrying you on my health care plan anymore... Good luck with that case of strep throat.." Come on guys...

 

[TheGeekess]

So is it legal to request he pay for medical and daycare even though I have been providing it? This seems like a jerk move to me. It is much more affordable for me to provide it than for him due to the fact that I have been medically retired from the army. It would just be spiteful to require him to cover her, but I am at the point now that the guy is so matter of fact about what his rights are that I feel that he should carry ALL of his responsibilities. He has no problem slandering mom and I, but he shirks any and all conversations about medical, daycare, missed child support, and pretty much anything else that would put more responsibility on him. Even though he deserves it, I can't look my STEP daughter in the eye and say," Hey! I decided not to take you to the doctor anymore because your father is a jerk and I don't feel like carrying you on my health care plan anymore... Good luck with that case of strep throat.." Come on guys...

If MOM has a CS order, then the medical and daycare would be figured into the CS. MOM can call the county DHR office and either get them to enforce the CS order or file to have CS established.

 

[Ohiogal]

So is it legal to request he pay for medical and daycare even though I have been providing it? This seems like a jerk move to me. It is much more affordable for me to provide it than for him due to the fact that I have been medically retired from the army. It would just be spiteful to require him to cover her, but I am at the point now that the guy is so matter of fact about what his rights are that I feel that he should carry ALL of his responsibilities. He has no problem slandering mom and I, but he shirks any and all conversations about medical, daycare, missed child support, and pretty much anything else that would put more responsibility on him. Even though he deserves it, I can't look my STEP daughter in the eye and say," Hey! I decided not to take you to the doctor anymore because your father is a jerk and I don't feel like carrying you on my health care plan anymore... Good luck with that case of strep throat.." Come on guys...

So what are you being paid to provide daycare for your stepchildren? What do you claim on your taxes as income from providing daycare for your children? oh nothing? Then guess what? You can't have dad pay for you to provide daycare and many judges will NOT believe payment to a spouse for daycare.

 

[moldableman]

LEGALLY you are not the daddy. LEGALLY you are no one.
LEGALLY the evidence was not presented properly. The child should have had a GAL appointed. The people that WROTE the reports should have been called as witnesses to testify. The reports are inadmissible as hearsay. The social worker's testimony was hearsay if she witnessed nothing. Hearsay of that sort is NOT admissible Hence it was all excluded properly. Your major in counseling is worth NOTHING in court. I have a law degree and law license. That trumps you every time when it comes to court hearings. I am an attorney/GAL who represents children.

If you ever actually work as a counselor you would be a mandated reporter. Or you would lose your job and face criminal charges if you did not report. Understand? You don't get it. This is about the legalities of which you are showing amazing stupidity -- not just ignorance but stupidity.

It seems easy for you to call names and steriotype people. If you would have paid attention to what I have been asking, "I" realize that "I" have no rights when it comes to my stepdaughter. My wife on the other hand does. I stated in the beginning that I can assist her in any way that I desire, hence my right and RESPONSIBILITY as a husband. I do not intend on doing anything in court, MY WIFE DOES SMART GUY. Please pay attention to someone's intentions before you dump your opinions, and they are just opinions, on other people. You may have a law degree, but I am versed in motivations and emotional reasoning. You know how to screw people, I know how to help them.. Get it straight.. It seems to me that if you really cared about kids, as you are a GAL, then you would be more focused on the child's well being instead of "technical" biologic lines. I will tell you straight up, a court order may say something on paper, but what is written in the hearts of parents and children are two seperate things. Congratulations to you that you can manipulate situations in order to boost your self esteem in a court room, but in all honesty, that has nothing to do with genuine love or genuine parenting. There are dead beat dads and moms all across the country that get represented by self righteous attorneys, and win their cases just to leave children getting abused and neglected... so congratulations on being a part of that movement. I on the other hand am a step parent who has been loving a child since they were one year old while her "real" father was out whoring around, being strung out on drugs, and being an alcoholic. These are the facts, not opinions. So please do not write me again stating legal jargon. I want to know how to help my wife protect "OUR" child. I may be a stepdad, but we have real love for each other. No butthead attorney, judge, or court order will ever change that. It may come across as stupidity, but we are a family. It seems much more ignorant to me that someone as educated as you would suggest that I alienate my stepdaughter. This is what the court system wants. Please realize that we have two children of who, I am the "real" dad, that are my "fake" daughter's sisters. Get over it. She is a part of our family and she will be treated as such.