I love it!!!Courtesy of "He Who Shall Not Be Named".
Tell your son that you need some 'bonding' time so you have decided to take him on a Father/Son trip to Rio. Tell him you will be leaving early in the morning so that the two of you can 'hit the beach and babes' before the sun goes down. Call the airlines and order one roundtrip ticket for you and a one-way ticket in your son's name.
The next morning stop at the ATM and withdraw $200. Then proceed to the airport.
Upon arrival at Rio, take your son to the hotel and tell him that you will need a rest before hitting the babes that night but he is free to explore. Also explain to him that it would not be safe to carry his billfold or passport as they are eaily stolen. You will have them put in the hotel's safe. THen hand him the $200 and pat him on the back with a hearty "Have a good time".
Once he has left the hotel, take out a sheet of hotel stationary and write the following:
Dear son,
You have been a real prick lately, and since you don't seem to care who you hurt with your anger, drugs and alcohol, it seems you are adult enough to care for yourself.
Therefore, I am leaving you with $200 to give you a start in life. I wish you all the luck in the world.
Dad
Take both passports and any credit cards from his wallet, pack them away, collect your things and leave the hotel, returning to the airport with your ROUNDTRIP ticket and go home.
He has JUST BECOME A MAN.
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teen out of control
- Thread starter JTB
- Start date
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Country Living
Senior Member
Don't go to Iguazu Falls anytime around Carnival! We made that mistake in February.
1st I want to say I am not a big fan of calling or involving the police especially in family situations. However in this situation I think you can utilize the state to your advantage.It has gotten to the point where he is beating on the bathroom door and you and your wife are hiding, this has got to stop. A friend of mine was in a similar situation,(not as extreme) and here's what he did. He immediately involved a lawyer, and filed charges against the teen. It took a few like wayward and disobedient and a couple of others. Than when he went to court he had a choice. The choices the teen had were simple, jail or an alternate program. This solved a couple problems, it got him out of the house and it got the state to pay. The teen chose the alternate and that was the Eckerd Foundation. It is an 18 month program located in several states. A juvenile lawyer knows the local programs and the ins and outs. I suggest you retain one now and get on the offense. The situation has gotten to emergency status so you need to treat it as such.goodluck.
Since quincy, in his usual completeness, already covered all the rest of the topics, let me say something as Unca Jeffy.
I have a 16 year old here in the house. Now, I was a pretty unruly teenager myself... but for about 10 minutes.
My dad was a DI for a number of years. Left as a Master Sargent.
Anyway, after moving a hole around the backyard for a couple of days, I straightened out.
Back to my girl. Once, she asked what would happen if she decided to do something that we said she couldn't... my wife and I were pretty sure she was referring to a party that wasn't age appropriate...
We told her that when she left the house... we would remove everything from her room except a blanket, a pillow and a change of clothing. The rest would go into the storage shed that had a nice new combination lock on it.
Oh, and the door. They hate it when you take the door.
She could then earn back everything in her room... one chore and one day at a time. I figured that, by 2010, she could be back to where she was right now.
Of course, most of the clothes wouldn't fit anymore.
Then, we waited. She looked at us and said, "You wouldn't".
I showed her the brand new combination lock.
She really doesn't push the envelope that much.
Now, the difference between us is that she knows I will... and will take a certain amount of joy in the process.
Your son rules the house. It is time to take away everything he holds dear until he learns that the old story about the young lion taking down the old lion is only fun if you win.
This is IMPORTANT. If he doesn't learn to respect your rules and wishes, he will never respect ANYONE's rules and wishes.... and he risks an awful lot.
Yes, there will be screaming. Yes, there will be threats. Offer to call the police for him. Bring them to the house.
Have THEM tell him about the penalties for filing a false police report.... and the possible consequences.
I have a 16 year old here in the house. Now, I was a pretty unruly teenager myself... but for about 10 minutes.
My dad was a DI for a number of years. Left as a Master Sargent.
Anyway, after moving a hole around the backyard for a couple of days, I straightened out.
Back to my girl. Once, she asked what would happen if she decided to do something that we said she couldn't... my wife and I were pretty sure she was referring to a party that wasn't age appropriate...
We told her that when she left the house... we would remove everything from her room except a blanket, a pillow and a change of clothing. The rest would go into the storage shed that had a nice new combination lock on it.
Oh, and the door. They hate it when you take the door.
She could then earn back everything in her room... one chore and one day at a time. I figured that, by 2010, she could be back to where she was right now.
Of course, most of the clothes wouldn't fit anymore.
Then, we waited. She looked at us and said, "You wouldn't".
I showed her the brand new combination lock.
She really doesn't push the envelope that much.
Now, the difference between us is that she knows I will... and will take a certain amount of joy in the process.
Your son rules the house. It is time to take away everything he holds dear until he learns that the old story about the young lion taking down the old lion is only fun if you win.
This is IMPORTANT. If he doesn't learn to respect your rules and wishes, he will never respect ANYONE's rules and wishes.... and he risks an awful lot.
Yes, there will be screaming. Yes, there will be threats. Offer to call the police for him. Bring them to the house.
Have THEM tell him about the penalties for filing a false police report.... and the possible consequences.
If you think this is something you are seriously interested in let me know. I will explain in detail how to go about reaching your goal. It will take some manipulation and pehaps some other efforts on your part, but I am fairly certain of the outcome. Also I have visited the camps in a few states, so if you have questions about them just ask. I also said it was an 18 month program, but that is an average length of stay based on progress. You cannot get an exact length of program because it's different for everybody and may change during there stay.goodluck.
Any specific questions, just ask. One thing that is very important is the fact that he cannot be sentenced to the camp. Every juvenile is taken to the camp for a day before admission and in given a tour. Your son and yourself must "volunteer" to be admitted. Although of course your not going you must consent. That is one of the reasons you need the criminal justice system to give you leverage. You also need to have the lawyer representing your interest in the court proceedings. So, when he is facing the charges that you filed, he will be represented by a public defender, and your lawyer will be there representing the victims interest. He will be prosecuted by the prosecutor and your lawyer will be there to tell him that you ( the victim) want him to get help not jail. You need a lawyer because this is to important to trust to the p.d. Also having your lawyer there he will be able to provide you with information. Also your lawyer will have to contact Eckerd and set up an appointment. Also the state being involved and having the program court ordered, will make the state resposible for payment. In a lot of situations they send you a bill, don't panic. That's normal procedure, and you will have to show hardship. I'm not sure what the criteria is, but it is extremely rare that the family is held accountable for even a portion of the bill.goodluck.
GaAtty
You may want to consider filing an "unruly child" petition with the juvenile court. The judge will talk to him and tell him to behave, etc. Lots of times it does some good for someone else in authority to talk to the kid. On the other hand, you are being far too lenient with him. You may want to try and toughen up your parenting skills first. Teen boys often require that the parent be more stubborn than the kids. If he were my kid and he did even half of the things you describe, he would: 1. not have a cell phone to talk on 2. not be able to look at the TV at all and 3. better be making very good grades (all A's and B's) or else spending at least 3 hours every school night and a minimum of 4 hours on the weekends attempting to make the good grades. Every time he has good behavior, he may get the TV or cell phone or computer to use, etc. When he acts up, then those things and other privileges get removed for increasing periods of time. The same with the bedtime. If he won't go to bed earlier than 1 am, then take away the TV and cell phone. If these things don't work, go to the juvenile court before you call police.
You may want to consider filing an "unruly child" petition with the juvenile court. The judge will talk to him and tell him to behave, etc. Lots of times it does some good for someone else in authority to talk to the kid. On the other hand, you are being far too lenient with him. You may want to try and toughen up your parenting skills first. Teen boys often require that the parent be more stubborn than the kids. If he were my kid and he did even half of the things you describe, he would: 1. not have a cell phone to talk on 2. not be able to look at the TV at all and 3. better be making very good grades (all A's and B's) or else spending at least 3 hours every school night and a minimum of 4 hours on the weekends attempting to make the good grades. Every time he has good behavior, he may get the TV or cell phone or computer to use, etc. When he acts up, then those things and other privileges get removed for increasing periods of time. The same with the bedtime. If he won't go to bed earlier than 1 am, then take away the TV and cell phone. If these things don't work, go to the juvenile court before you call police.
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commentator
Senior Member
You really should be in very intense counseling. Because your child is apparently in total control of this home. If he has you hiding in the bathroom, shuddering, ...duh! What should you do? Call the police. They've seen children out of control before. They've been lied to before. As your friend told you, they see this all the time. A nice cooling off period in juvenile justice wouldn't hurt this young man a bit. Apparently he hasn't experienced any consequences before. And by the way, what do you mean about those "outside people trying to get you to put him on ADD meds, etc."?? Usually when a child is in this much trouble, it's something outsiders have really noticed. Maybe you should listen to them, hum?
I am curious as to how this child receives his money, gets rides to school, gets food, gets clothing...apparently no standards of behavior are required, because he might "rage" and throw a fit. And you say you put him in a private Christian school, which he loves???? Have you talked to any people at school about his behavior at home?
I am curious as to how this child receives his money, gets rides to school, gets food, gets clothing...apparently no standards of behavior are required, because he might "rage" and throw a fit. And you say you put him in a private Christian school, which he loves???? Have you talked to any people at school about his behavior at home?
stealth2
Under the Radar Member
I'm still wondering what's happening to the other young children while Mommy and Daddy are hiding from Big Bad Brother...
One of the problems I see a lot with parents of teens is that they often (not saying in all cases) don't do the hard work long before the kid is 16 and outweighing them. And then are surprised when the kid is 16, outweighs them, and decides that s/he is going to rule the roost.
One of the problems I see a lot with parents of teens is that they often (not saying in all cases) don't do the hard work long before the kid is 16 and outweighing them. And then are surprised when the kid is 16, outweighs them, and decides that s/he is going to rule the roost.
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