Is this legal??

[Just Blue]

I didn't agree with him overstepping so that means I am dysfunctional.

Yeah...You and your horribly broken self.

 

[moldableman]

If this is in the court order what else is in the court order regarding your involment with this child?

Obviously the judge did feel there was a reason to put that in there, maybe even because of alienation of dad on mom's part.

Which this just adds to the stuff already putting you in a "bad light"

That is it.. just the name thing

 

[moldableman]

LOL. Your dx is waaaayyyy off. Go back to school. My son was 2 and my daughter was 4 months old when we seperated. I started dating my DH when the kids were 3 and 18 months. My ex, my DH and I all work at the same place and talk daily. My kids stepmom is my best friend. They watch my youngest and I watch theirs. The children did elect a few years ago to call steps as they wished with parental consent AND it's noted in court transcripts. My husband totally supports all three of my children but completely and utterly understands that he is NOT the father of my oldest two and RESPECTS their father, even if he doesn't like him very much.

It is good that you have an ex that respects you and can work willingly with you for the best interest of the whole group. Unfortunately we are not so lucky..

 

[moldableman]

I didn't agree with him overstepping so that means I am dysfunctional.

Why the name calling.. Me asking you about law is like you asking a heart surgeon about a procedure and him calling you childish names because you didn't know the answer. I am not an attorney BOZO, so quit with the name calling.

 

[moldableman]

I didn't agree with him overstepping so that means I am dysfunctional.

I said that perhaps you were dysfunctional.. I think we all are to a degree.. What works for you may not necessarily work for everyone

 

[Isis1]

I said that perhaps you were dysfunctional.. I think we all are to a degree.. What works for you may not necessarily work for everyone

look. the point of being a step parent (in the legal world) is to never be mentioned in ANY court orders pertaining to the children. ever. and you, apparently, made it in there. it's not looking good for mom.

 

[moldableman]

Thing is if you don't overstep and you know your boundaries it could possibly end of being that way.


However with the way your going about it, well its not so good. You obviously haven't figured out where you stand in the whole realm of things and/or felt you had rights where you had none.

ETA: I am also a step parent. Full time. Mom doesn't see child.

I understand what you are saying. We all, dad included, got it bass ackwards. He wasn't there for many years and I was, so I took on role as dad. Meant no harm, just trying to love everybody. In all honesty, I didn't know it was going to cause so much trouble. So now he came back into the picture and we have established relationships. So it is a tearing down and rebuilding of sorts... and it is terribly painful for everyone.

 

[Proserpina]

I understand what you are saying. We all, dad included, got it bass ackwards. He wasn't there for many years and I was, so I took on role as dad. Meant no harm, just trying to love everybody. In all honesty, I didn't know it was going to cause so much trouble. So now he came back into the picture and we have established relationships. So it is a tearing down and rebuilding of sorts... and it is terribly painful for everyone.

(has this already been answered?)

Why didn't mom go for step-parent adoption? If Dad wasn't around for those years....abandonment, perhaps?

 

[TheGeekess]

(has this already been answered?)

Why didn't mom go for step-parent adoption? If Dad wasn't around for those years....abandonment, perhaps?

I mentioned that is his original thread....
https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/judge-seems-dirty-please-help-484786.html

I've also told him legally that all HE can do at this time is to work to get the circuit court judge's political opponent in the next election voted in.

 

[Rushia]

Yeah...You and your horribly broken self.

I must go and wallow in my dysfunctionalness.

It is good that you have an ex that respects you and can work willingly with you for the best interest of the whole group. Unfortunately we are not so lucky..

Because you have and continue to attempt usurp the role of Father.

Why the name calling.. Me asking you about law is like you asking a heart surgeon about a procedure and him calling you childish names because you didn't know the answer. I am not an attorney BOZO, so quit with the name calling.

I called you overstepping and apparently a judge felt the same. Truth hurt? You called me dysfunctional and ASSUMED my situation and were utterly WRONG. I'm not an attorney either, I just know a whole lotta stuff.

I said that perhaps you were dysfunctional.. I think we all are to a degree.. What works for you may not necessarily work for everyone

What works is knowing your role as a stepparent and you don't. I was a stepmom to my ex's oldest child and I was AWESOME.

 

[moldableman]

(has this already been answered?)

Why didn't mom go for step-parent adoption? If Dad wasn't around for those years....abandonment, perhaps?

In Alabama he had to be absent with no contact for five years. He came back at four and a half...

 

[moldableman]

I must go and wallow in my dysfunctionalness.



Because you have and continue to attempt usurp the role of Father.



I called you overstepping and apparently a judge felt the same. Truth hurt? You called me dysfunctional and ASSUMED my situation and were utterly WRONG. I'm not an attorney either, I just know a whole lotta stuff.



What works is knowing your role as a stepparent and you don't. I was a stepmom to my ex's oldest child and I was AWESOME.

Well you go ahead with your awesomeness.. Perhaps you are surrounded by people that are reasonable. Again, we are not.. I know my role.. I am a support system.. Abusive dad can't handle that, so here we are..

 

[Rushia]

Well you go ahead with your awesomeness.. Perhaps you are surrounded by people that are reasonable. Again, we are not.. I know my role.. I am a support system.. Abusive dad can't handle that, so here we are..

*sigh* There you go with the abuse again. Did you call CPS yet? Has your wife hightailed herself down to the courthouse to file to keep the child in counseling? You are STILL sitting here wondering why you can't be your stepchild's father instead of taking care of the abuse.

Poor child.

 

[moldableman]

*sigh* There you go with the abuse again. Did you call CPS yet? Has your wife hightailed herself down to the courthouse to file to keep the child in counseling? You are STILL sitting here wondering why you can't be your stepchild's father instead of taking care of the abuse.

Poor child.

We are working with the psychologist in an attempt to show neglect. For someone that is so matter of fact, you should know that if you run to the judge with every issue, they get a bit upset. Please find a legitimate source of self esteem instead of getting it from a free advice site. Are you still wondering why you constantly criticize people on this site instead of actually helping them.. I mean really, you've been at it all day.

 

[Rushia]

Its not about doing what's right when your surrounded by reasonable people.

Its about doing what's right even when you aren't.

Well put! I still don't think he's going to get it though.