SAHM working from home

[californiamom3]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA
I am SAHM who works the in home office for my BF's company. I have done so for 5 years.
Telephone, accounting, etc. I do not receive a check for the work that I do.
My children and I receive a roof over our heads, food in our mouths, etc.
I have my own photography business that is currently not lucrative so I have been looking for work outside of the home to help pay the bills. (I hope that I can manage both)
NCP is now back in the picture after being absent for 5 years.
I understand that we are both financially responsible.
We have a custody/support hearing coming up in December.
If I haven't found an "out of the home job" by then what could happen?
Would/could they calculate how much I would be making if I were to have an office job? (impute)
Would/could the court count my BF's income as mine?
Thanks so much.

 

[Zephyr]

Your bf's income will not be counted but you could be imputed an income based on what you could reasonably make given your skills/education and field.

 

[californiamom3]

Your bf's income will not be counted but you could be imputed an income based on what you could reasonably make given your skills/education and field.

Unfortunately I do not have an official education beyond high school.
What I should have been doing these past 5 years is just that.....getting an education so I had some value in the work field once my kids were older.
(a bit of advice for other "at home parents")
Unfortunately I do not have the "official" credentials to work in an office.
I have not gone to school for what I do and have applied for many office orientated jobs to no avail. Although I have much work experience they don't seem to want to hire a self taught person such as myself. (I don't blame them)
If I were to get a minimum wage job...say.... working as a department store clerk
most (if not all) of what I would make would go to after school Day Care for my youngest. Seems so pointless. (this is why I should have gone to school all these years!) I applied for 2 jobs this morning that will barely cover day care.
Go to school, go to school!

 

[Isis1]

Unfortunately I do not have an official education beyond high school.
What I should have been doing these past 5 years is just that.....getting an education so I had some value in the work field once my kids were older.
(a bit of advice for other "at home parents")
Unfortunately I do not have the "official" credentials to work in an office.
I have not gone to school for what I do and have applied for many office orientated jobs to no avail. Although I have much work experience they don't seem to want to hire a self taught person such as myself. (I don't blame them)
If I were to get a minimum wage job...say.... working as a department store clerk
most (if not all) of what I would make would go to after school Day Care for my youngest. Seems so pointless. (this is why I should have gone to school all these years!) I applied for 2 jobs this morning that will barely cover day care.
Go to school, go to school!

not to nit pick, but it may be how you are presenting yourself. i only have a high school education. no computer training, and i have only worked in office jobs. yea, i started out at most places as reception, but within 6 months i was always moved on to a higher position due to presentation. i am fully self taught. what i didn't know, i spent my breaks and lunches figuring it out. not that i'm knocking school or anything. that's ALWAYS a good idea.

 

[LdiJ]

Do you realize that over the last 5 years you really have been employed, but have absolutely no social security credits for the work that you have done?

Your boyfriend really should be paying you. Yes, that means that he will have to pay employer taxes and you may end up paying some income tax, but you NEED those social security credits.

Its not like he is your husband and you will be able to collect off of his credits if you are married at least 10 years.

 

[californiamom3]

not to nit pick, but it may be how you are presenting yourself. i only have a high school education. no computer training, and i have only worked in office jobs. yea, i started out at most places as reception, but within 6 months i was always moved on to a higher position due to presentation. i am fully self taught. what i didn't know, i spent my breaks and lunches figuring it out. not that i'm knocking school or anything. that's ALWAYS a good idea.

I know what you mean. I know plenty of people with a college education that can't find work as well. I wish that I could get in there and just "show" them what I can do. I find that most places require you to fill out an online application. If that's the case I generally make a showing a few days later to introduce myself.
I just need one place that will take the chance on me ya know?!
I'm afraid of what will happen to the business I run for the BF without me there as well. Certainly can't afford to hire a secretary. LOL!
His company is the households main income. I wonder what options we might have? I suppose we could put me officially "on the books" and give me a salary.
The money would all be going to the same place in the end. I don't want to be accused of trying to get out of a "real job" (as Ex calls it)
Any thoughts?

 

[californiamom3]

Do you realize that over the last 5 years you really have been employed, but have absolutely no social security credits for the work that you have done?

Your boyfriend really should be paying you. Yes, that means that he will have to pay employer taxes and you may end up paying some income tax, but you NEED those social security credits.

Its not like he is your husband and you will be able to collect off of his credits if you are married at least 10 years.

We must have been writing at the same time!

 

[Zephyr]

We must have been writing at the same time!

And I was in a very similar situation and guess what? The relationship goes south and what happens? No place to live, no job...no reference for how many years of work.....make sure you are always prepared and able to take care of yourself right now

 

[LdiJ]

I know what you mean. I know plenty of people with a college education that can't find work as well. I wish that I could get in there and just "show" them what I can do. I find that most places require you to fill out an online application. If that's the case I generally make a showing a few days later to introduce myself.
I just need one place that will take the chance on me ya know?!
I'm afraid of what will happen to the business I run for the BF without me there as well. Certainly can't afford to hire a secretary. LOL!
His company is the households main income. I wonder what options we might have? I suppose we could put me officially "on the books" and give me a salary.
The money would all be going to the same place in the end. I don't want to be accused of trying to get out of a "real job" (as Ex calls it)
Any thoughts?

What you are doing is a "real job" that could give you something to put on your resume and a reference, if you were "on the books".

Believe me, I do understand what you are facing. I have a college education but my education was in foreign languages with a minor in business.

However, what I ended up doing a few years after college, was going to work for a small corporation where I "learned my way" into being the CFO, while doing taxes on the side. When I lost that job in a hostile takeover, 15 years later, I ended up with no educational background to match my experience, and couldn't find a job at all. I ended up having to go back to school for a master's degree, so that my education would match my experience, and then ended up in tax full time.

I sailed through my masters classes because I already knew everything that I was being "taught" and it irked me no end to have to spend that money. More than half of my professors left me out of "the curve" because I blew it for everyone else. One professor even paid me to rewrite a chapter in the upcoming version of his textbook because I knew more about the subject than he did...LOL.

One thing that you might want to do is check into getting some certifications in Word, Excel, Powerpoint etc. In some places those kinds of classes are available, without actually having to go for a degree, and having those certifications on your resume can help you stand out.

 

[penelope10]

And I was in a very similar situation and guess what? The relationship goes south and what happens? No place to live, no job...no reference for how many years of work.....make sure you are always prepared and able to take care of yourself right now

As as SAHM for about 8 years I agree. It's hard getting back into the job market. The one saving grace for me was that I kept my insurance license current and that I worked for my last employer for seven years. (And the employer prior for 5). I was lucky to find the job I have, which is a new department with a huge, diversified company. It took me quite some time to find this job, however, if I can do it, anybody can....

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

It is definetly wise to use your stay at home time to get an education. In fact most colleges now offer a lot of online classes. Making it even easier to get an education while staying at home. I personally take over half of my classes online and am using my stay at home years to get an education. By the time my babies start school I will have at minimum a bachelors degree and starting my master degree. It makes it so that when they start school I can get a great job AND not have to worry about huge cost of daycare for 5 kids as they will be in school! If they need any after school care we have great after school programs at their schools. Getting an education during the years at home really is the smartest thing to do. PLUS my proudest moment will be looking out and seeing my kids when I walk and get my diploma. My oldest at one point said "mom, is it our fault you didnt go to college? " He was so upset by the thought. I was enrolled in college classes within the month. Never will they think they hindered me in ANY way.

 

[californiamom3]

It is definetly wise to use your stay at home time to get an education. In fact most colleges now offer a lot of online classes. Making it even easier to get an education while staying at home. I personally take over half of my classes online and am using my stay at home years to get an education. By the time my babies start school I will have at minimum a bachelors degree and starting my master degree. It makes it so that when they start school I can get a great job AND not have to worry about huge cost of daycare for 5 kids as they will be in school! If they need any after school care we have great after school programs at their schools. Getting an education during the years at home really is the smartest thing to do. PLUS my proudest moment will be looking out and seeing my kids when I walk and get my diploma. My oldest at one point said "mom, is it our fault you didnt go to college? " He was so upset by the thought. I was enrolled in college classes within the month. Never will they think they hindered me in ANY way.

It's too bad that I have let the opportunity slip by me. Now that dad is back in the picture and paying CS I am also expected to provide financially. BF providing doesn't count. Me working at home and not receiving pay is not going to cut it anymore. Don't get me wrong, I am not against working, I do it already, just not for money. I know it sounds so silly, but it has worked well for us all these years. I suppose except for me not putting into my own SS.... Which leads me to another question about receiving benefits if unmarried. (I will post in the proper forum if you prefer.) My BF and I have life insurance and are named beneficiaries on each others plan. Is there some loophole where we might not benefit in case of death because were not married? Our agent says it's not a problem. If BF were to pass, where does his SS go? He was also a union worker for many years and has money vested in that. He has never been married and has no children of his own. Since we are not married does that money just go back into the system? Just curious.

 

[basylica]

I only have a HS education and I'm a Systems Admin and Network Engineer for a large company.

I've never had any formal education in my field. heck, I didn't have other IT people around for the last 8yrs. *shrug*

 

[LdiJ]

It's too bad that I have let the opportunity slip by me. Now that dad is back in the picture and paying CS I am also expected to provide financially. BF providing doesn't count. Me working at home and not receiving pay is not going to cut it anymore. Don't get me wrong, I am not against working, I do it already, just not for money. I know it sounds so silly, but it has worked well for us all these years. I suppose except for me not putting into my own SS.... Which leads me to another question about receiving benefits if unmarried. (I will post in the proper forum if you prefer.) My BF and I have life insurance and are named beneficiaries on each others plan. Is there some loophole where we might not benefit in case of death because were not married? Our agent says it's not a problem. If BF were to pass, where does his SS go? He was also a union worker for many years and has money vested in that. He has never been married and has no children of his own. Since we are not married does that money just go back into the system? Just curious.

If someone with SS passes without a surviving spouse and/or children, then their SS justs goes back into the system. Life insurance passes to the named beneficiary no matter what. Vested pensions pass to the nearest next of kin if no specific beneficiary is listed, and for most pensions the beneficiary has to be a relative.

 

[StampGirl]

Hindsight is 20/20. Yes you should have gone to school while working at home. Oh well.

I didn't have to go back to work for 5yrs after my divorce. I was lucky. I was able to afford to live soley on child support. My house payment was very low and I had no car payment, etc. I went back to school, finished my BA, did a Masters in Ed. Then I sold the condo, made money off it, paid student loans etc.

Try going to an employment agency (Like AppleOne etc). I went to Robert Half Agency (here in CA not sure if they are anywhere else). I had no business degree etc. I tested and they found me an accounting job based on my skills and they offered free classes to test in accounting skills.

My guess is that the employment agency is your best bet. You have the skills. They can show the employer your skills even if you dont have the degree. I am now back in online classes and will be graduating in Feb with my MBA Accounting

You can do it So get to getting!!!