understanding contempt

[torimac]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

My ex recently filed contempt of court. He is claiming:
*that I did not return items to him as directed by the divorce agreement
*I allowed our daughter to contact him via facebook, violating the restraining order against him
*do not allow contact with her step-sister and grandparents
*wants to revisit the custody issues with the help of the courts so he can gain some custody and visitation

I looked over our divorce agreement and he has everything in the initial list. I do have some items in a storage unit. According to the agreement, he was to provide a list of items that he wants. His list was "the books, movies and stuff" he had before the marriage, none of which I have.

Regarding the facebook issue, it is true that our daughter contacted him, but did not realize it was him as he was using an alias quite similar to another relative's name. He did not respond and I pointed out to our daughter her mistake (I check her facebook account on a regular basis).

It is my understanding that without orders, I do not have to allow visitations to the grandparents or step-sister. As her father lives with them, I am not willing to have her just go over there and visit. There is a restraining order in place against him.

Can he use a contempt charge to request a review of the restraining order and custody? Nothing has changed on his side. He has done nothing that the courts asked him to do. Additionally, he is over 20k in arrears for child support. While I realize that is a separate issue, will the judge take that into consideration?

His reasoning for the review of custody and the contempt charges is that I "purchased a new car, television" and have visited all over California attending conventions. Also, I moved from my previous address. I did not supply him with a new address as it is not required because of the restraining order.

If I returned all his items listed in the divorce agreement, am I in contempt? Will the grandparent visitation and custody issues be revisited in court at that time?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

My ex recently filed contempt of court. He is claiming:
*that I did not return items to him as directed by the divorce agreement
*I allowed our daughter to contact him via facebook, violating the restraining order against him
*do not allow contact with her step-sister and grandparents
*wants to revisit the custody issues with the help of the courts so he can gain some custody and visitation

I looked over our divorce agreement and he has everything in the initial list. I do have some items in a storage unit. According to the agreement, he was to provide a list of items that he wants. His list was "the books, movies and stuff" he had before the marriage, none of which I have.

When you respond to his suit, state that you do not have any of the items in question.

Regarding the facebook issue, it is true that our daughter contacted him, but did not realize it was him as he was using an alias quite similar to another relative's name. He did not respond and I pointed out to our daughter her mistake (I check her facebook account on a regular basis).

When you respond to his suit, state this same explanation.

It is my understanding that without orders, I do not have to allow visitations to the grandparents or step-sister. As her father lives with them, I am not willing to have her just go over there and visit. There is a restraining order in place against him.

You are correct. Unless there are SEPARATE orders for grandparent or other family visitation, you do not have to allow it. When you respond to his suit, state that you cannot be held in contempt because there are no orders for grandparent and sibling visitation, and that you cannot allow your child to visit there, as dad lives with them and there is a restraining order against dad.

Can he use a contempt charge to request a review of the restraining order and custody? Nothing has changed on his side. He has done nothing that the courts asked him to do. Additionally, he is over 20k in arrears for child support. While I realize that is a separate issue, will the judge take that into consideration?

When you respond to his suit, point out that there is a restraining order against him, and that he has done none of the things that the court required him to do in order to get the restraining order lifted.

His reasoning for the review of custody and the contempt charges is that I "purchased a new car, television" and have visited all over California attending conventions. Also, I moved from my previous address. I did not supply him with a new address as it is not required because of the restraining order.

What does any of that have to do with anything? If there is a restraining order against him how does he know what you have purchased and what kind of traveling you do for work?

If I returned all his items listed in the divorce agreement, am I in contempt? Will the grandparent visitation and custody issues be revisited in court at that time?

The grandparent visitation issues should not be addressed unless the grandparents file a separate suit for visitation. The custody issues can be addressed because he included that in his petition.

You need to respond to his suit and address all of the issues that he has brought up.

You should probably also file a counter suit for contempt to address the issues of his child support arrearages, his non-payment of the marital debt, and his non-payment of his share of your joint tax obligations. (unless that has been resolved by now)

 

[torimac]

Thanks for the information. This contempt charge seemed to have come out of no where. I wasn't sure if custody issues could be lumped in with contempt charges.

You should probably also file a counter suit for contempt to address the issues of his child support arrearages, his non-payment of the marital debt, and his non-payment of his share of your joint tax obligations. (unless that has been resolved by now)

Yes, I have plans to do so, just finishing the loan papers to get a lawyer. So, we will be filing a counter suit regarding the financial issues once I send him payment. Thanks again.

 

[mistoffolees]

He's blowing smoke. Wait until he actually files for contempt and then hire a lawyer and sue him for your legal expenses.

1. Missing items. If you returned the items that were listed, you can't be held in contempt. That doesn't mean that you don't have to return anything else. If something else belongs to your ex, you have to return it, even if it wasn't specifically listed, but that's not contempt (unless he gets a court order and THEN you don't return it, of course)..

2. You can't be held in contempt for something your daughter did that you didn't know about. As soon as you learned about it, you resolved it, so it's not an issue. Besides, it's rather bizarre for him to be threatening to file for contempt because the daughter contacted him.

3. You do not have to allow contact with the step-sister and grandparents without a court order. HOWEVER, depending on how close they were, it may be a good idea (and they may be able to get a court order if they ask). I would stick 100% to the rule that the child doesn't go to grandparent's house as long as he's living there - because of the restraining order. I would consider allowing other contact (SS visiting in your home, email, phone calls, or meeting in a neutral location) though.

4. He can always ask the courts to revisit the custody/visitation issue, but as long as there is a restraining order against him, he's not going to get physical custody nor increased visitation. He may be able to get joint legal (if he doesn't already have it), but he has to show a reason for that which didn't exist at the time of the divorce.

The court is not supposed to take the fact that he is behind in CS into consideration in determining custody. Could it happen? Sure. Some judges might take the position "how do you want me to believe that you care for the child so much and need to spend time with her when you can't be bothered to pay support?" They're not supposed to, but it probably happens.

In any event, you need to go after the CS regardless of what he threatens to do wrt contempt.

 

[torimac]

Update

Well, the judge was very patient and went over each item and the details:

The accidental contact that my daughter sent via Facebook was ruled accidental.
The grandparents issue had no order, so I can't be in contempt.
He was not able to specify what was not returned to him except for a few dishes and a box of pans. We went over the division of property line by line. I told the judge I had no idea where they were, they were in the house when I left.
Custody issues were not reviewed or changed because of the current restraining order. The judge explained that he needed to file the proper forms to have it reviewed, along with the custody issues.

Regarding the contempt charges I presented, failure to pay child support and the IRS back taxes, he has requested a jury trial.

Not exactly a legal question, but can anyone tell me what to expect in a jury trial for back child support and court ordered payment of back taxes? I can prove that he had the ability to pay, I know he was served with the paperwork.

 

[mistoffolees]

Not exactly a legal question, but can anyone tell me what to expect in a jury trial for back child support and court ordered payment of back taxes? I can prove that he had the ability to pay, I know he was served with the paperwork.

A jury trial is very unusual in a child support and contempt issue. I would suggest that you consult with an attorney. If your ex is found guilty, then you can ask for your legal expenses as well as the back child support and so on.

 

[torimac]

I do plan on hiring a lawyer, just need to come up with the funds.

He had a court appointed lawyer. He has not paid child support in over three years. There is a law (?) that if the potential result of the contempt of court is more than a certain amount of time in jail, the person can request a jury trial.

I don't quite understand his strategy. I know he received a settlement and he spent it on himself rather than pay any of his bills. I can prove such. Maybe he expects sympathy from a jury now that we are in a recession and jobs are scarce? They were not scares 3 2/1 years ago. So, I am not sure why he asked for a jury trial.

 

[LdiJ]

I do plan on hiring a lawyer, just need to come up with the funds.

He had a court appointed lawyer. He has not paid child support in over three years. There is a law (?) that if the potential result of the contempt of court is more than a certain amount of time in jail, the person can request a jury trial.

I don't quite understand his strategy. I know he received a settlement and he spent it on himself rather than pay any of his bills. I can prove such. Maybe he expects sympathy from a jury now that we are in a recession and jobs are scarce? They were not scares 3 2/1 years ago. So, I am not sure why he asked for a jury trial.

He asked for a jury trial in the hopes that it would scare you off...or in the hopes that it would delay things enough that you would give up...or in the hopes that it would get him free legal counsel...etc, etc, etc.

In other words, he is playing the system.

 

[mistoffolees]

I know he received a settlement and he spent it on himself rather than pay any of his bills. I can prove such.

Unfortunately, that won't help you to collect money. He is in contempt if he didn't pay, so that part will be easy, but you can't get blood from a stone. If the money is all gone, you're still going to have the problem collecting.

Sure, you can get an order that he has to pay. You can even get an order to attach his wages if he ever gets a job again. But there's no guarantee you'll get paid.

Have you filed with your state for unpaid child support? Sometimes the state is more effective with an individual.

 

[torimac]

I have filed with the local child support agency. But they have had little luck with collecting anything. I did sign some papers that should have put some enforcements in place, mainly suspention of his driver's license. California sent the paperwork to Nevada, but I haven't heard the result. He drove to the hearing in CA, so I suspect that he still has his license.
Yes, I realize that collection will be difficult. I don't count on child support as income, so that is not an issue. But the order is still there and he chooses not to work. He's worked his entire adult life (as I have), except for the occassional month here or there between jobs. He has a college degree and plenty of experience. He simply does not to work. His latest excuse is that he has returned to school for another degree. I manage to work full time and go to school, so I don't see this as a valid reason.
I am not sure what to expect from the trial, but I am not backing down. So if that was his strategy, then it failed.

 

[torimac]

update...

Well the scare tactics did not work. We are scheduled for court this Monday. I took a loan against my 401k; not the best answer since shortly after I received a layoff notice. But it was the only option to pay for a lawyer.

I did find out that he had a settlement. I have not found out how much that was, but I know that he had at least 20K.

Evidently, he has been diagnosed as transgender and spent the money on a sex change operation. Nope, I am not joking. (CourtClerk, that is why I asked what county you were in. Every bailiff finds a reason to visit our court room when our case is heard.) I did some research and found out that this is not considered medically necessary. He could have spent some of the money on his bills, he just chose not to do so.

So, at this point, it is just waiting to see what the judge and jury will do. I am not sure of the process, but at least I have a lawyer now.

 

[Isis1]

Well the scare tactics did not work. We are scheduled for court this Monday. I took a loan against my 401k; not the best answer since shortly after I received a layoff notice. But it was the only option to pay for a lawyer.

I did find out that he had a settlement. I have not found out how much that was, but I know that he had at least 20K.

Evidently, he has been diagnosed as transgender and spent the money on a sex change operation. Nope, I am not joking. (CourtClerk, that is why I asked what county you were in. Every bailiff finds a reason to visit our court room when our case is heard.) I did some research and found out that this is not considered medically necessary. He could have spent some of the money on his bills, he just chose not to do so.

So, at this point, it is just waiting to see what the judge and jury will do. I am not sure of the process, but at least I have a lawyer now.

okay...i've got to be honest. this sounds like something i would LOVE to sit in on as well. can i ask what county you are in? maybe pm me the court room?

 

[mistoffolees]

okay...i've got to be honest. this sounds like something i would LOVE to sit in on as well. can i ask what county you are in? maybe pm me the court room?

Maybe OP should sell tickets for the hearings. That would be her best bet of recovering her money.

 

[torimac]

I have thought of selling tickets. I had to go back to court to ask about my restraining order and the name change once I found out about that. The girl at the information desk stared for a moment and then commented that she thought those things only happen on TV. The lawyer I talked to about it had never had a situation where the name and gender changed and no longer was correct on the restraining order.

It's been interesting, to say the least.

 

[torimac]

Update

Well, we went to court today. Evidently, my ex's lawyer called my lawyer on Thursday asking if we could settle, but my lawyer was out of town last week.

First of all, my ex was late. When everyone was finally there, the lawyers met briefly. They came up with an agreement.

* He pleads no contest to the 27 counts of contempt for not paying child support.
*He has 90 days to find a job. He has to submit a seek work record, applying for at least 20 jobs a month. This seek work record has to be filed with the court and my lawyer
*He has to either file a tax return or produce paperwork from the IRS regarding the payment of owed taxes.
*If he does not find work or make a child support payment by the next court date, he will go to jail.

I realize that ultimately there are many ways of avoiding paying child support, but at least I have made an attempt.