Please help...what canI do legally?

[confuseddad2009]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

I need legal advice as to what /if I can do anything. I will have money to go back to court in Feb. Mom showed up at my home today starting more BS. I will explain the story in a min. The cops said I can not get a no trespassing order on mom since she has to pick up her DD but I can on step dad. So I want to know if I should and if I do go back to court for this what I should try to get added and what steps I need to do.

Here is what happened tonight and please know this is not the first time. This is just the first time my wife involved the cops.

This is off the Texas Department of Family Services website:

How old must a child be to be left home alone?

Answer: Supervision of children is basic to the prevention of harm. Adequate supervision means an adult caregiver is accountable for the child's care. Although, there is no Texas law that defines a specific age at which a child may be left home alone, there are several factors that should be taken into consideration when deciding how closely to supervise a child, including:

* the age, emotional maturity and capability of the child;
* layout and safety of the home, play area, or other setting;
* neighborhood circumstances, hazards, and risks;
* the child's ability to respond to illness, fire, weather, or other types of emergencies; and
* whether the child has a mental, physical, or medical disability.

The number of children left unsupervised, the accessibility to other responsible adults, the length of time or frequency with which the child is left alone, and the child's knowledge of the parent's whereabouts are additional relevant factors.

On to the story. Mom was picking DD up at 6 to go for dinner. I am at work as I work nights. SM left to go running at 5:55 as her friend got there. DD has SMs cell, her friends cell, moms number, my number, grandma lives down the street and DD is a very mature 10 year old. DD called SM at 6:08 worried that her mom was not showing because she was not there. SM started to head home and DD called her right back because mom showed up at 6:10. SM was not going more than a mile round trip it was not far at all. When SM returns at 7:35PM. Before she is even on our driveway mom pulls up and jumps out of her car yelling at SM...this is what I got

Mom: If you ever leave my DD home alone again you do not want to know the things that I will do to you

Step Mom: ok, goodnight

Mom: (walking closer to step mom as she is trying to get our kids out of a stroller) DD hates you so much she cries everytime I have to bring her home to you. I am taking her home and will nto be leaving her here with you.

Step mom: ok, good night

Step DAD: If you keep turning your back on her (mom) I am going to break in your home

Step Mom: ok, good night (finally in side slams door)

Step mom called the cops because she was home alone with the kids. Her friend and friends son saw everything. The son was bawling his eyes out. 30 min later our doorbell is rining off the hook non stop and step mom has neighbor answer it, It was mom with DD and she told the neighbor she has pressed charges.

Cop took a report for step mom and said that since mom has to pick up her DD she can not get a no trespassing order on her. But she can get it on step dad. He told her since she is step mom there is nothing legally she can do to keep mom away from them (SM and our two kids). So here is where I am. SM never leaves DD home alone for a long time. Its only when she is walking and DD has homework or doesnt feel like going. Most times she wants to go with SM. DD knows the rounte SM goes and if need be could find her. It is .75 around our home and she runs it multiple times. BEfore ever leaving DD home I called the police and they said as long as I felt she was okay to be left home alone it was legal and I could not do it for more than 24 hours. Now the most has been 20-30 min. AND SM checks in at every lap! This is not the first time threats or this has happened. Step dad tried to punch my wife while she was pregnant. He starts stuff all the time. SM was trying to get away fast but had to get teh kids out. Its a double stroller so it does not fit through our door way. What can I do? Can I take it to court that they are not allowed on my property? Please tell me. I need this to stop for my kids sake. My DD does not need to be seeing this everyother week and lately it seems it is like this.

On a side note I did ask DD if she heard anything and she said she couldnt hear anything because her sister and brother (moms and step dads kids) were crying to loud because they were scared.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

I need legal advice as to what /if I can do anything. I will have money to go back to court in Feb. Mom showed up at my home today starting more BS. I will explain the story in a min. The cops said I can not get a no trespassing order on mom since she has to pick up her DD but I can on step dad. So I want to know if I should and if I do go back to court for this what I should try to get added and what steps I need to do.

Here is what happened tonight and please know this is not the first time. This is just the first time my wife involved the cops.

This is off the Texas Department of Family Services website:

How old must a child be to be left home alone?

Answer: Supervision of children is basic to the prevention of harm. Adequate supervision means an adult caregiver is accountable for the child's care. Although, there is no Texas law that defines a specific age at which a child may be left home alone, there are several factors that should be taken into consideration when deciding how closely to supervise a child, including:

* the age, emotional maturity and capability of the child;
* layout and safety of the home, play area, or other setting;
* neighborhood circumstances, hazards, and risks;
* the child's ability to respond to illness, fire, weather, or other types of emergencies; and
* whether the child has a mental, physical, or medical disability.

The number of children left unsupervised, the accessibility to other responsible adults, the length of time or frequency with which the child is left alone, and the child's knowledge of the parent's whereabouts are additional relevant factors.

On to the story. Mom was picking DD up at 6 to go for dinner. I am at work as I work nights. SM left to go running at 5:55 as her friend got there. DD has SMs cell, her friends cell, moms number, my number, grandma lives down the street and DD is a very mature 10 year old. DD called SM at 6:08 worried that her mom was not showing because she was not there. SM started to head home and DD called her right back because mom showed up at 6:10. SM was not going more than a mile round trip it was not far at all. When SM returns at 7:35PM. Before she is even on our driveway mom pulls up and jumps out of her car yelling at SM...this is what I got

Mom: If you ever leave my DD home alone again you do not want to know the things that I will do to you

Step Mom: ok, goodnight

Mom: (walking closer to step mom as she is trying to get our kids out of a stroller) DD hates you so much she cries everytime I have to bring her home to you. I am taking her home and will nto be leaving her here with you.

Step mom: ok, good night

Step DAD: If you keep turning your back on her (mom) I am going to break in your home

Step Mom: ok, good night (finally in side slams door)

Step mom called the cops because she was home alone with the kids. Her friend and friends son saw everything. The son was bawling his eyes out. 30 min later our doorbell is rining off the hook non stop and step mom has neighbor answer it, It was mom with DD and she told the neighbor she has pressed charges.

Cop took a report for step mom and said that since mom has to pick up her DD she can not get a no trespassing order on her. But she can get it on step dad. He told her since she is step mom there is nothing legally she can do to keep mom away from them (SM and our two kids). So here is where I am. SM never leaves DD home alone for a long time. Its only when she is walking and DD has homework or doesnt feel like going. Most times she wants to go with SM. DD knows the rounte SM goes and if need be could find her. It is .75 around our home and she runs it multiple times. BEfore ever leaving DD home I called the police and they said as long as I felt she was okay to be left home alone it was legal and I could not do it for more than 24 hours. Now the most has been 20-30 min. AND SM checks in at every lap! This is not the first time threats or this has happened. Step dad tried to punch my wife while she was pregnant. He starts stuff all the time. SM was trying to get away fast but had to get teh kids out. Its a double stroller so it does not fit through our door way. What can I do? Can I take it to court that they are not allowed on my property? Please tell me. I need this to stop for my kids sake. My DD does not need to be seeing this everyother week and lately it seems it is like this.

On a side note I did ask DD if she heard anything and she said she couldnt hear anything because her sister and brother (moms and step dads kids) were crying to loud because they were scared.

Ok You could press charges of harrasment on mom and I will get to the rest in the minute or another poster but you never stated how old the child is? If you did Im sorry it was a long post and I didnt see it. Could you please give childs age?

 

[confuseddad2009]

She is 10. A VERY mature 10. Like I said I called the police station before and they said it was legal as long as I felt she was mature enough and it was not for 24 hours. Its not even a hour. How do I get harrassment charges on mom? Cops told SM since they did it to her and she is just the step mom there is nothing she can do. Which we do not understand because they threatened her while she is home alone with our children. Now SM doesnt want me working nights because she is scared they will do something. I am so confused. Cops tols SM that I need to make a call to mom and work this out. I wish it was that easy!

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

She is 10. A VERY mature 10. Like I said I called the police station before and they said it was legal as long as I felt she was mature enough and it was not for 24 hours. Its not even a hour. How do I get harrassment charges on mom? Cops told SM since they did it to her and she is just the step mom there is nothing she can do. Which we do not understand because they threatened her while she is home alone with our children. Now SM doesnt want me working nights because she is scared they will do something. I am so confused. Cops tols SM thato make a call to mom and work this out. I wish it was that easy!

Heres what you do you call the police station and asked to talk to the superior of whoever told you that you couldnt do anything because he is a moron. After that you take your wife down to the court house and see if you can get a TRO on your ex. I would also suggest making sure that your wife is not alone when exchanges happen. As for your daughter I dont think you need to worry about her being home. Just make sure there is a phone at home and with your wife.

 

[confuseddad2009]

Heres what you do you call the police station and asked to talk to the superior of whoever told you that you couldnt do anything because he is a moron. After that you take your wife down to the court house and see if you can get a TRO on your ex. I would also suggest making sure that your wife is not alone when exchanges happen. As for your daughter I dont think you need to worry about her being home. Just make sure there is a phone at home and with your wife.

Yes she has a phone, has all cells, grandma lives close. Unfortunetly not all exchanges I can be there. But I will be tomorrow. Someone suggested to call the cops tomorrow before pickup and have them here to make sure everythign goes well? Thoughts? Also, what are the steps of a RO? What does it do? Since they did not threaten my wifes life will they actually grant that? Wont all mom and step dad have ot say is that never happened? I will have apolice report but like my wife said I can get a report for anything? The police did not talk to the mom about anything (that we know of) They got all moms info so maybe they will...so confused!

 

[LocalRocket]

I am confused. How slowly does she run? Only .75 miles round trip (so around a block or two?), and she checks in every lap? If I was in DD's shoes, I guess I'd be worried, too, not only that mom was late, but that SM hasn't checked in on her lap. And then she got back at 7:35? So she ran around the block with a stroller for almost 2 hours?

I may not be as liberal with sitters and kids staying alone as some people are... where I live it's not legal to leave your kid waiting in the car with the door locked at the grocery store for even a minute until the child is 12. Same goes for the legal age of a babysitter.

I realize that DD might be very mature, but if this has happened before, why couldn't SM wait FIVE MINUTES for mom to arrive, just out of good will? In my experience, a quick status update is almost always required with a child exchange.

I'm not saying that mom's behavior toward SM is ok; it's obviously not. But involving the police to monitor child exchange (which could be traumatic for your DD) seems unwise, if you haven't first arranged to revise the custody order to be more specific. It's possible that mom could be granted first right of refusal before you leave the child home alone at that age, and maybe it would be appropriate to exchange DD at her down-the-street grandmother's house or at school instead.

What did you hope to gain by asking DD if she "heard anything"? I think this would be frowned upon by a judge as well. Again, I am not against you, but I think you might need to provide a little more info about your case rather than back up for why you feel comfortable leaving DD home alone. For example, when you say that "this is not the first time", you go on to say that SD tried to punch your wife while she was pregnant. Did you call the cops then? What were they riled up about? Not the first time mom was mad that SM left DD alone, or not the first time that mom picked on SM?

 

[Proserpina]

I may not be as liberal with sitters and kids staying alone as some people are... where I live it's not legal to leave your kid waiting in the car with the door locked at the grocery store for even a minute until the child is 12. Same goes for the legal age of a babysitter.

Want to help me out a bit? Could you post the statutes for both statements? (age of babysitter and leaving a child unattended in a car).

I was talking about this a few days ago with a friend (who has, oddly enough, a 12 year old daughter) - try as we did all we found was that there is no specific law governing the minimum age of a babysitter in Oregon, and just cannot find a particular statute covering either that or leaving children unattended in a vehicle and I wouldn't mind knowing whether it exists or not. Thanks!

(for some odd reason I keep thinking "10 years old" but cannot for the life of me remember where I saw that) fo

 

[confuseddad2009]

Sorry, not the first time meaning this is not the first time they start something in my front yard. SM has never left early before mom got there. This was the first time. But neither one of us saw this as a big deal. No we have never called the cops when anything has happened. Last night was the first time. We just never thought about doing it because the cops in our area suck. But since she was home alone last night she did. I did tell her to do the same from here on out. And yes, I know we should have before. But I hate drama. The reason asking the cops to be around the area (not escort DD to there car) just to keep drama down. SM had checked in at the point DD had called her. She did not wait because she did not think of it as being a big deal. As for giving mom a "report" this can not happen. If SM were to walk out there when mom was there this is what mom will do. SM stays away from them. And yes, she walks around the neighborhood for two hours. This is how she excersises. And has been for some time.

I am confused. How slowly does she run? Only .75 miles round trip (so around a block or two?), and she checks in every lap? If I was in DD's shoes, I guess I'd be worried, too, not only that mom was late, but that SM hasn't checked in on her lap. And then she got back at 7:35? So she ran around the block with a stroller for almost 2 hours?

I may not be as liberal with sitters and kids staying alone as some people are... where I live it's not legal to leave your kid waiting in the car with the door locked at the grocery store for even a minute until the child is 12. Same goes for the legal age of a babysitter.

I realize that DD might be very mature, but if this has happened before, why couldn't SM wait FIVE MINUTES for mom to arrive, just out of good will? In my experience, a quick status update is almost always required with a child exchange.

I'm not saying that mom's behavior toward SM is ok; it's obviously not. But involving the police to monitor child exchange (which could be traumatic for your DD) seems unwise, if you haven't first arranged to revise the custody order to be more specific. It's possible that mom could be granted first right of refusal before you leave the child home alone at that age, and maybe it would be appropriate to exchange DD at her down-the-street grandmother's house or at school instead.

What did you hope to gain by asking DD if she "heard anything"? I think this would be frowned upon by a judge as well. Again, I am not against you, but I think you might need to provide a little more info about your case rather than back up for why you feel comfortable leaving DD home alone. For example, when you say that "this is not the first time", you go on to say that SD tried to punch your wife while she was pregnant. Did you call the cops then? What were they riled up about? Not the first time mom was mad that SM left DD alone, or not the first time that mom picked on SM?

 

[stealth2]

Personally speaking, the solution seems pretty obvious. Since the 10yo was concerned enough to make a phone call after 10 minutes, she may not actually be mature enough to be home by herself. But regardless... how hard is it, from here on out, for SM to simply wait to go for her run/walk until Mom shows up? No fuss, no muss, no drama.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Unconsciously, I think SM was avoid mom and stepdad's shenanigans.

In any case, it might be appropriate to move the exchanges to a public place, as opposed to pickups/deliveries at homes. A public place would provide witnesses, if needed.

A commentary to localrocket:
Communication between parties is NOT required, unless mandated in a court order. In fact, it is best to NOT do any major communications at the exchanges when children are in earshot. Can't tell you how many children get sent out the door with a wave and the parents have NOT communicated.

 

[confuseddad2009]

Personally speaking, the solution seems pretty obvious. Since the 10yo was concerned enough to make a phone call after 10 minutes, she may not actually be mature enough to be home by herself. But regardless... how hard is it, from here on out, for SM to simply wait to go for her run/walk until Mom shows up? No fuss, no muss, no drama.

When DD called SM she wasnt upset that she was homealone she thought her mom flaked on her. SM isnt going to do this again when mom is picking up dd. She did it not thinking this was a big deal. Only reason. What I want to solve is all this to stop. I want no more seens in my front yard, I dont want dd to be a witness to any of this.

I forgot to answer someone elses question about me asking DD what she heard. I didnt ask her in those words. I asked her if she was okay and if she knew what was going on. Thats when she told me she didnt hear anything because the other kids were crying in the card because they were scared

 

[Ohiogal]

Truthfully from what you have posted and what your ex posts she is unreasonable and irrational. You NEED public exchanges.

 

[stealth2]

O/T

I have to admit that I am gobsmacked that a mother/stepmother of three (with two young enough to be in a stroller) has time to walk for 2 hours a day. (Good for her, though!)

 

[confuseddad2009]

Its the only way she can. She is a travel agent and runs a day care through our home during the day so this is her only "me" time. Usually she drags DD with her because her friend that goes with them has a son her age and they have fun. But there are days she doesnt want to go.

 

[LdiJ]

I haven't read the other responses that you received, however, I will tell you that it was dumb for your wife to leave the child alone when she knew that mom was going to be picking her up within a few minutes. She was guaranteeing a run in with mom over that. The drama all could have been avoided if your wife had simply waited until the child was picked up to leave.