Same old birthday story, same old birthday song and dance. And it’s all CJanes fault…

[CJane]

ProSe... the reason I asked is that you can't do a preemptive strike on her denying you time around Tgiving. So you might have to resign yourself to not having kiddo with you.

Of course, you'll still need to show up to attempt to get her, but EVEN IF you never responded to that email from Mom, your keeping LMPS for your Bday might be seen in court as tacit agreement to the swap.

What I WOULD argue is that Mom didn't really lose any awake time w/LMPS that night, and you WILL lose quality awake time while they're "driving" on Saturday. You KNOW she's gonna make sure they're back as late as possible so you really only have Sunday.

So... definitely file to amend due to the birthday situation. Be prepared to compromise and have the order state that if the birthday falls on the other parent's time, that the celebrating parent will receive the next closest weekend in its entirety regardless of the schedule (or something like that). Your biggest obstacle is the distance - it's not terribly likely that a judge is going to go for an overnight visit for a non-weekend Bday w/that much travel involved, yanno?

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

ProSe... the reason I asked is that you can't do a preemptive strike on her denying you time around Tgiving. So you might have to resign yourself to not having kiddo with you.

I’m already expecting that, even though I am hoping that common sense will prevail. I will be there for the pick up.

I already have a motion for contempt drafted.

Of course, you'll still need to show up to attempt to get her, but EVEN IF you never responded to that email from Mom, your keeping LMPS for your Bday might be seen in court as tacit agreement to the swap.

I made it quite clear in my email from 11/06(after she sent: "Unless you are open to negotiating Thanksgiving please have (LMPS) returned Monday night by her bedtime of 9pm."), which generated The Ex’s response on 11/08 about the “swap”:

This is not a negotiation. Again, you never “asked” anything about Thanksgiving. You stated what you were doing and that it;

“would require you to forgo your weekend visitation with (LMPS).”.

There was no attempt at negotiation there from you, and there is none now from me. My answer on this hasn’t changed.

I’m sure she hates that I quote her back to herself.

I am also making it clear that this is not a negotiation for the simple reason that the last time we went to court, her lawyer complained in the Exceptions that they filed about me offeing emails as evidence, by saying that they they shouldn't be admissable as they "amounted to settlement negotiation and were only admissable in respect of Plaintiff's claim for attorney fees".

How's that for "obfuscation"?

What I WOULD argue is that Mom didn't really lose any awake time w/LMPS that night, and you WILL lose quality awake time while they're "driving" on Saturday. You KNOW she's gonna make sure they're back as late as possible so you really only have Sunday.

So... definitely file to amend due to the birthday situation. Be prepared to compromise and have the order state that if the birthday falls on the other parent's time, that the celebrating parent will receive the next closest weekend in its entirety regardless of the schedule (or something like that). Your biggest obstacle is the distance - it's not terribly likely that a judge is going to go for an overnight visit for a non-weekend Bday w/that much travel involved, yanno?

Oh, knowing her, she’ll have some kind of “car trouble” on the way home to keep me from seeing LMPS at all that weekend.

As for the birthday overnight maybe not being granted, my question would be “Why not? I already do it midweek every week.”.

 

[LdiJ]

I’m already expecting that, even though I am hoping that common sense will prevail. I will be there for the pick up.

I already have a motion for contempt drafted.

I made it quite clear in my email from 11/06(after she sent: "Unless you are open to negotiating Thanksgiving please have (LMPS) returned Monday night by her bedtime of 9pm."), which generated The Ex’s response on 11/08 about the “swap”:

I’m sure she hates that I quote her back to herself.

I am also making it clear that this is not a negotiation for the simple reason that the last time we went to court, her lawyer complained in the Exceptions that they filed about me offeing emails as evidence, by saying that they they shouldn't be admissable as they "amounted to settlement negotiation and were only admissable in respect of Plaintiff's claim for attorney fees".

How's that for "obfuscation"?


Oh, knowing her, she’ll have some kind of “car trouble” on the way home to keep me from seeing LMPS at all that weekend.

As for the birthday overnight maybe not being granted, my question would be “Why not? I already do it midweek every week.”.

That can be your argument why it should be granted, if it seems to not be going your way in court.

However, the birthday thing is a modification. Its not part of your contempt, so you are going to have to file two motions and ask that they be heard together.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

That can be your argument why it should be granted, if it seems to not be going your way in court.

However, the birthday thing is a modification. Its not part of your contempt, so you are going to have to file two motions and ask that they be heard together.

I'm filing the mod either this Friday or next Monday. I doubt that I'll have the paperwork to have The Ex served back before she goes on her trip, if she goes, but I hope I do. I'd rather get it over with.

About the trip(what I know at least). The intention is to leave the Saturday before Thanksgiving to go spend the holiday with the family of a friend. LMPS will miss school(1/2 days on Monday and Tuesday, off the rest of the week) for this. I have already told The Ex that I am fine with the missed school time and to enjoy the trip(this was in the beginning of October when this was first brought up), but that I would be there to pick up LMPS on 11/27/09 per the order.

The contempt filing would be filed after the trip.

 

[LdiJ]

I'm filing the mod either this Friday or next Monday. I doubt that I'll have the paperwork to have The Ex served back before she goes on her trip, if she goes, but I hope I do. I'd rather get it over with.

About the trip(what I know at least). The intention is to leave the Saturday before Thanksgiving to go spend the holiday with the family of a friend. LMPS will miss school(1/2 days on Monday and Tuesday, off the rest of the week) for this. I have already told The Ex that I am fine with the missed school time and to enjoy the trip(this was in the beginning of October when this was first brought up), but that I would be there to pick up LMPS on 11/27/09 per the order.

The contempt filing would be filed after the trip.

I would honestly wait and file them both together, asking that they be heard together. Its not going to hurt your motion to modify to wait a couple of weeks.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

I would honestly wait and file them both together, asking that they be heard together.

But why should I wait?

Its not going to hurt your motion to modify to wait a couple of weeks.

I agree, but I don't really want it to be seen as punitive.

 

[LdiJ]

But why should I wait?

I agree, but I don't really want it to be seen as punitive.

You should wait because its more efficient...LOL.

I don't see any way that your motion to modify would be seen as punitive. It would be seen as sensible under the overall circumstances.

 

[Ohiogal]

You should wait because its more efficient...LOL.

I don't see any way that your motion to modify would be seen as punitive. It would be seen as sensible under the overall circumstances.

He can file one and then the other and ask that the contempt be heard at the same time on the same date as the Modification.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Woooohoooooooooo

I got Little Miss Pro Se, at the appointed time and place. Yay for common sense.

And even had an interesting conversation at the door with the apparent new BF.

New BF answers door:"Can I help you?"
Me: "Is (LMPS) here?"
New BF:" And you are?"
Me:" Her Dad"
New BF:"Oh, ok" and closes the door in my face.

Keep in mind that it's 9pm, and LMPS is 10 years old. How many other adult males are knocking on the door at that time of night looking for our daughter, on a night that I am supposed to pick her up at that time? What was that word? Oh yeah, there were two of them.

Obtuse, and obfuscate.

The Ex didn't say a word to me when she came to the door, even after I said "thank you". My gf asked me late last night why in the world I said thank you, and I could only answer "because she did the right thing". She still didn't like it, but then again, she doesn't have to.

 

[stealth2]

I got Little Miss Pro Se, at the appointed time and place. Yay for common sense.

And even had an interesting conversation at the door with the apparent new BF.

New BF answers door:"Can I help you?"
Me: "Is (LMPS) here?"
New BF:" And you are?"
Me:" Her Dad"
New BF:"Oh, ok" and closes the door in my face.

Keep in mind that it's 9pm, and LMPS is 10 years old. How many other adult males are knocking on the door at that time of night looking for our daughter, on a night that I am supposed to pick her up at that time? What was that word? Oh yeah, there were two of them.

Obtuse, and obfuscate.

Actually, dude is in a no-win situation. If he had NOT asked who you were, you'd be posturing about "how they could let just ANY adult male at the door speak to daughter without asking who he was?!?!?!" Your two words apply to you on this one, too.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Actually, dude is in a no-win situation. If he had NOT asked who you were, you'd be posturing about "how they could let just ANY adult male at the door speak to daughter without asking who he was?!?!?!" Your two words apply to you on this one, too.

Oh, I dunno about that.

I'd think that the proper thing to say would have been "Oh, you must be PSDinMD. I'm New BF." Well, at least that's what I would've done under the circumstances. I have no doubt that he knew I was coming. The Ex certainly did.

 

[stealth2]

Oh, I dunno about that.

I'd think that the proper thing to say would have been "Oh, you must be PSDinMD. I'm New BF." Well, at least that's what I would've done under the circumstances. I have no doubt that he knew I was coming. The Ex certainly did.

No, you *assume* he knew who you were. And that you were coming. Just as you *assume* he is the new b/f. Maybe yes, maybe no. If I were in your shoes, I'd be grateful that he at least took the care to check who you were.

Should the ex have answered the door? Probably. But ya know... maybe she was in the bathroom. Maybe she was getting something the last minute kiddo forgot.

But again, I would bet that you'd have something to say if he hadn't asked who you were.

 

[profmum]

I got Little Miss Pro Se, at the appointed time and place. Yay for common sense.

I am glad the the ex is starting to do the right thing.. however difficult she makes it before the actual exchange.. maybe that is what she wants, which is to get push your buttons as much as she can and then.. do the right thing

The Ex didn't say a word to me when she came to the door, even after I said "thank you". My gf asked me late last night why in the world I said thank you, and I could only answer "because she did the right thing". She still didn't like it, but then again, she doesn't have to.

There you again.. being the bigger parent!

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

No, you *assume* he knew who you were. And that you were coming. Just as you *assume* he is the new b/f. Maybe yes, maybe no. If I were in your shoes, I'd be grateful that he at least took the care to check who you were.

Should the ex have answered the door? Probably. But ya know... maybe she was in the bathroom. Maybe she was getting something the last minute kiddo forgot.

But again, I would bet that you'd have something to say if he hadn't asked who you were.

Ok, I'm willing to agree with the possibility of the first "assume", but under the circumstances, I'd seriously doubt it.

LMPS has talked regularly about the second one, and The Ex's dates with him, and "sleepovers" at his house, and the fact that he's an NCP(she didn't phrase it that way, but that was the gist of what she told me). I truly love that she can talk to me about what goes on in her life, and enjoys doing so.

I really hope she can find someone, anyone, to make her as happy in her life as I have become in mine. But I don't think that will happen for her as long as she hates me so much.

I am glad the the ex is starting to do the right thing.. however difficult she makes it before the actual exchange.. maybe that is what she wants, which is to get push your buttons as much as she can and then.. do the right thing

There you again.. being the bigger parent!

I don't think her mind works that way. I think it was a case of knowing I would file contempt.

As for being the bigger parent, well, somebody has to do it.