pro se visitation schedule with out taking to court

[hotrodbaby21]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma

Ok, I'll give some background info:

Son is ten and hasn't seen or spoken to his Dad in over two years.
We were never married.
Established paternity through DNA testing and child support was filed but is not current(14K behind).
Dad is making regular payments now and has been since early this year, although, not the full amount every time, is still compliant(according to CSE)

Dad called this weekend and wants to start seeing son and a regular basis. He said he talked to a lawyer and she had told him that if he was to type up a visitation schedule and have us both sign in front of a notary, that it would hold up in court.

I have read many posts on this forum over the past several months, and if my memory serves me correctly, the above is false. Please any advice on this would be very helpful. I know he could do this and I will do it IF it will hold up in court. I want MY rights AND his rights to be protected in case something may happen.

If the notarized schedule will not hold up in that kind of situation, what is another alternative for him to be able to afford?

Another thing is that he wants to file that notarized schedule with the court so that it is on file. Is that possible?


Custody and visitation has never been brought to court.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma

Ok, I'll give some background info:

Son is ten and hasn't seen or spoken to his Dad in over two years.
We were never married.
Established paternity through DNA testing and child support was filed but is not current(14K behind).
Dad is making regular payments now and has been since early this year, although, not the full amount every time, is still compliant(according to CSE)

Dad called this weekend and wants to start seeing son and a regular basis. He said he talked to a lawyer and she had told him that if he was to type up a visitation schedule and have us both sign in front of a notary, that it would hold up in court.

I have read many posts on this forum over the past several months, and if my memory serves me correctly, the above is false. Please any advice on this would be very helpful. I know he could do this and I will do it IF it will hold up in court. I want MY rights AND his rights to be protected in case something may happen.

If the notarized schedule will not hold up in that kind of situation, what is another alternative for him to be able to afford?

Another thing is that he wants to file that notarized schedule with the court so that it is on file. Is that possible?


Custody and visitation has never been brought to court.

You can file a parenting/visitation agreement with the court and the court will (usually) sign off on it - that would by far be the easiest and better option. A notarized agreement in and of itself is not enforceable.

 

[hotrodbaby21]

Ok, that's what I thought. I have told his dad that I thought that it wouldn't be enforceable several times, but swears that's what this lawyer told him and he is determined to do that. Do you know of any OK law or anything similar that I could print out and show him. I don't want to hinder is attempts because, say I refuse to sign or whatever, I want him to have a relationship with our son, BUT I want us to BOTH be protected.

 

[Sunnyone83]

From what you said, it sounds like he wants to file it with the court after you both sign and get it notarized. Correct?

Notarizing in and of itself will not stand up, however, if you notarize it and THEN file it with the court (have a judge sign off on it) it would be official and would stand up.

 

[hotrodbaby21]

I hope that's right. That's exactly what he/we plans to do. So, basically, can he just take the notarized paper up to the court house and file it as is?

 

[LdiJ]

I hope that's right. That's exactly what he/we plans to do. So, basically, can he just take the notarized paper up to the court house and file it as is?

Well, there are some other forms and things that he would have to include with the filing, but essentially that is correct.

You want to make sure that the "parenting plan" he wants you to sign is comprehensive and deals with custody as well as visitation. Do a google search for parenting plans and try to get a feel for what needs to be included.

 

[hotrodbaby21]

Well, there are some other forms and things that he would have to include with the filing, but essentially that is correct.

And I assume those can just be picked up at the court house?

You want to make sure that the "parenting plan" he wants you to sign is comprehensive and deals with custody as well as visitation. Do a google search for parenting plans and try to get a feel for what needs to be included.

Ya, we have covered almost everything that almost always leads to a misunderstanding such as:
Who provides transportation.
Wording the parenting plan with dad getting 1st, 3rd, 5th weekend.unnecessary
Physical/residential vs. legal custody.

I hope we don't forget any, just so all those little issues aren't just up in the air and may become BIG issues.

 

[CJane]

Don't forget to include holidays, birthdays, school breaks, summer visits... periods of extended possession, whose school district the child will attend, whether there are any specific extracurricular activities to address...

 

[LdiJ]

And I assume those can just be picked up at the court house?




Ya, we have covered almost everything that almost always leads to a misunderstanding such as:
Who provides transportation.
Wording the parenting plan with dad getting 1st, 3rd, 5th weekend.unnecessary
Physical/residential vs. legal custody.

I hope we don't forget any, just so all those little issues aren't just up in the air and may become BIG issues.

Yes, the other forms can be picked up at the courthouse.

 

[hotrodbaby21]

Don't forget to include holidays, birthdays, school breaks, summer visits... periods of extended possession, whose school district the child will attend, whether there are any specific extracurricular activities to address...

I get the holidays, birthdays, etc., but school district? He already is going to school here.

 

[tornado88]

That helps to ensure that it stays that way.

 

[Isis1]

That helps to ensure that it stays that way.

definitely!


cover your bases OP. we all are aware of how ugly things can get once you leave a loophole open.

 

[hotrodbaby21]

Ah, I see!! Thanks for all the help.