help

[confusedfldaddy]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? fl

I have filed motion for contempt against my ex because she hasnt followed the court order(re: our child) and a petition to modify custody because I am remarried, living in a stable home with a stable career, no longer awol and afraid of being arrested in front of my child, and her situation has changed for the worse, with the exception she JUST went back to school. She kept threatening me at the time of the divorce that she would tell them I was AWOL if I faught what she wanted. The whole reason I went AWOL was because after I was stationed at my base she was supposed to come there with our son, instead she told me she wasnt coming, she was seeing someone else and was taking my son to Colorado. I attempted to get help from my commander with no resolve, so I left...not the greatest decision I ever made, but I was scared and had no idea what to do or who to turn to. I didnt fight her, because I didnt want to lose my son or be sent back and never see my son again, and didnt want to be worried my son would have to witness me being arrested because I was AWOL, so I gave her what she wanted. She has primary residence, we have shared parental responsibilty. She never makes me a part of decision making when it comes to my son, which was agreed upon in maediation, she's suppost to let me have him if I am able at times other than everyother weekend, as long as I give reasonable times notice, to her a month is not reasonable enough, I am supposed to have him during Spring break and everyother week during summer, she doesnt let me. Until Sept 2009, I was unable to do anything about it. Now I am tired of only being a 2 weekend a month dad. Do you thinks I'll have any chance at getting a 50/50 custody arrangment???

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? fl

I have filed motion for contempt against my ex because she hasnt followed the court order(re: our child) and a petition to modify custody because I am remarried, living in a stable home with a stable career, no longer awol and afraid of being arrested in front of my child, and her situation has changed for the worse, with the exception she JUST went back to school. She kept threatening me at the time of the divorce that she would tell them I was AWOL if I faught what she wanted. The whole reason I went AWOL was because after I was stationed at my base she was supposed to come there with our son, instead she told me she wasnt coming, she was seeing someone else and was taking my son to Colorado. I attempted to get help from my commander with no resolve, so I left...not the greatest decision I ever made, but I was scared and had no idea what to do or who to turn to. I didnt fight her, because I didnt want to lose my son or be sent back and never see my son again, and didnt want to be worried my son would have to witness me being arrested because I was AWOL, so I gave her what she wanted. She has primary residence, we have shared parental responsibilty. She never makes me a part of decision making when it comes to my son, which was agreed upon in maediation, she's suppost to let me have him if I am able at times other than everyother weekend, as long as I give reasonable times notice, to her a month is not reasonable enough, I am supposed to have him during Spring break and everyother week during summer, she doesnt let me. Until Sept 2009, I was unable to do anything about it. Now I am tired of only being a 2 weekend a month dad. Do you thinks I'll have any chance at getting a 50/50 custody arrangment???

how far apart from each other do you live? How long has this been going on? How did you get the AWOL taken care of?

 

[CJane]

Ok. In order to change custody, you need a significant change in the circumstances of the CHILD or the CHILD'S CUSTODIAN.

Do you have joint legal custody? Joint physical? What does your court order say?

What has changed in MOM'S life that is so dramatic that all sorts of upheaval can be justified?

How old is the child?

 

[confusedfldaddy]

answer

We only live 10 mins apart, she has done her best to keep me away from my son because she doesnt like me to be happy and thats what my son does for me.

I turned myself in and served my time, now just waiting on my official discharge paperwork.

 

[CJane]

We only live 10 mins apart, she has done her best to keep me away from my son because she doesnt like me to be happy and thats what my son does for me.

Has she ever interfered with your COURT ORDERED time?

How much actual visitation have you exercised on a regular basis?

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

We only live 10 mins apart, she has done her best to keep me away from my son because she doesnt like me to be happy and thats what my son does for me.

I turned myself in and served my time, now just waiting on my official discharge paperwork.

Oh for the love of all things snowy! You've made mistakes in the past which could make someone fear for the safety of their child... ie, waiting to get arrested for AWOL. This isn't about you! Or at least it shouldn't be! It IS in the child's best interests to have both parents be a part of his life, take her back to court, get the modified custody/visitation taken care of and quit whining.

 

[confusedfldaddy]

Ok. In order to change custody, you need a significant change in the circumstances of the CHILD or the CHILD'S CUSTODIAN.

Do you have joint legal custody? Joint physical? What does your court order say?

What has changed in MOM'S life that is so dramatic that all sorts of upheaval can be justified?

How old is the child?

I have joint legal custody. He is 7. Mom was living 2 1/2 hours away, now only 10 mins away, mom was living in a home big enough for a family, now lives in a 2 bedroom apartment in a cruddy part of town, my son has told me he's afraid to fall asleep because roaches crawl on him. There are 5 people living in this apartment 3 of them being kids. On the weekends he's with her, he's told me his mother and he boyfriend sleep into the afternoon-times varrying, and he has to take care of himself and the 2 younger children 2 and 3 yrs old. She has had the water and electric turned off because of non payment and told my son he better not tell me, I only know because he told my parents. When my son comes to visit me, as soon as he gets home she makes him tell her everything we talked about. When I try and call my son whenI dont have him, she either ignores the phone calls or listens to our conversation(which was stated we are not to do in the court order). My son has to stay in the house majority of time and watch tv or play computer, no physical exercise, he gained over 30 pounds in a year, he's 7 and weighs almost 100 pounds. Ive been away most of the year taking care of the awol stuff so I was unaware until I returned.

 

[confusedfldaddy]

I am well aware this isnt about me, and I am awaiting an appointment with a lawyer.....I am attempting to get feedback as to if I have a chance at changing custody since it was done through mediation.

 

[confusedfldaddy]

Has she ever interfered with your COURT ORDERED time?

How much actual visitation have you exercised on a regular basis?

Yes she has not answered when Ive called to find out where to meet them, or when I show up to get him they're not home, she let me drive 2 1/2 hours to Jacksonville to get my son, just to tell me she wasnt letting me get him. I am supposed to get him every Holiday 1/2 day, if a Monday Holiday(such as Memorial day) falls on my weekend Im supposed to be able to keep him, Im supposed to get him every Fathers day, my birthday, Spring break, and everyother week during summer. It all only happens when its convienient for her.

I get him as much as possible. But like I said, theres times when she doesnt answer the phone or isnt home when I go to pick him up. I just want to know if I have a chance at getting the custody agreement changed since it was done through mediation at the time???

 

[Ohiogal]

Well lookie here, it is TiffaniJohn's spouse. I believe your wife deleted the thread because she didn't like being told she is a legal stranger.

Here is the issue: you made decisions. Those decisions had consequences. It is NOT your ex's fault that YOU decided to go AWOL or decided not to attend the final hearing. As for this:

Yes she has not answered when Ive called to find out where to meet them, or when I show up to get him they're not home, she let me drive 2 1/2 hours to Jacksonville to get my son, just to tell me she wasnt letting me get him. I am supposed to get him every Holiday 1/2 day, if a Monday Holiday(such as Memorial day) falls on my weekend Im supposed to be able to keep him, Im supposed to get him every Fathers day, my birthday, Spring break, and everyother week during summer. It all only happens when its convienient for her.

How often have you filed contempt for her denying you your court ordered time when you have driven to pick up your child?
As for this:

I have joint legal custody. He is 7. Mom was living 2 1/2 hours away, now only 10 mins away, mom was living in a home big enough for a family, now lives in a 2 bedroom apartment in a cruddy part of town, my son has told me he's afraid to fall asleep because roaches crawl on him.

So have you talked to mom? A 7 year old is NOT a competent witness.

There are 5 people living in this apartment 3 of them being kids.

Not illegal.

On the weekends he's with her, he's told me his mother and he boyfriend sleep into the afternoon-times varrying, and he has to take care of himself and the 2 younger children 2 and 3 yrs old. She has had the water and electric turned off because of non payment and told my son he better not tell me, I only know because he told my parents.

You are behind on child support, aren't you?

When my son comes to visit me, as soon as he gets home she makes him tell her everything we talked about. When I try and call my son whenI dont have him, she either ignores the phone calls or listens to our conversation(which was stated we are not to do in the court order).

What proof do you have she is ignoring the phone calls or listening?

My son has to stay in the house majority of time and watch tv or play computer, no physical exercise, he gained over 30 pounds in a year, he's 7 and weighs almost 100 pounds. Ive been away most of the year taking care of the awol stuff so I was unaware until I returned.

You were clearing up your criminal charges and now you are blaming mom for all this when you haven't been around for most of the year. What does son do at your house? Anyone in your family overweight? Anyone in your ex's family overweight?

 

[confusedfldaddy]

Actually this isnt that persons spouse, maybe situation similar, idk, but you are assuming something that isnt true and basing your reply on that. Sorry this person upset you, but that not bother of mine

 

[confusedfldaddy]

Oh and btw no one is overweight on either side, and I am NOT behind on child support, did you read the post??

 

[Ohiogal]

Oh and btw no one is overweight on either side, and I am NOT behind on child support, did you read the post??

I read the post. I gave you answers.

 

[Ohiogal]

Actually this isnt that persons spouse, maybe situation similar, idk, but you are assuming something that isnt true and basing your reply on that. Sorry this person upset you, but that not bother of mine

Tiffanijohn lives in Florida with her husband, her hubby's ex and child moved within minutes of them and she and her hubby wanted joint custody of the child. Also, her hubby defaulted on the divorce because he went AWOL and didn't show up because the mother of the child threatened to have him arrested for being AWOL. Should I continue? Okay different people. Apparently FL is full of dishonorable military divorced men who go AWOL because they can't deal with the responsibility. Should I continue?

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

I have joint legal custody. He is 7. Mom was living 2 1/2 hours away, now only 10 mins away, mom was living in a home big enough for a family, now lives in a 2 bedroom apartment in a cruddy part of town, my son has told me he's afraid to fall asleep because roaches crawl on him. There are 5 people living in this apartment 3 of them being kids. On the weekends he's with her, he's told me his mother and he boyfriend sleep into the afternoon-times varrying, and he has to take care of himself and the 2 younger children 2 and 3 yrs old. She has had the water and electric turned off because of non payment and told my son he better not tell me, I only know because he told my parents. When my son comes to visit me, as soon as he gets home she makes him tell her everything we talked about. When I try and call my son whenI dont have him, she either ignores the phone calls or listens to our conversation(which was stated we are not to do in the court order). My son has to stay in the house majority of time and watch tv or play computer, no physical exercise, he gained over 30 pounds in a year, he's 7 and weighs almost 100 pounds. Ive been away most of the year taking care of the awol stuff so I was unaware until I returned.

First let me say that I've lived in areas where roaches are a problem. I keep an immaculate home and was constantly bombing for roaches... so that statement could mostly be accounted for the area you BOTH live in. She's allowed to live in a two bedroom home... apartment or otherwise. You have no say over this.
Unless you have court ordered phone time with your child on mom's time, she isn't required to answer your calls.
Your son may have to stay inside a lot, this is not neglect. Him gaining 30 lbs in a year isn't THAT out of the norm. I know my brother gained at least that much around the same age then grew 8 inches the next year.
Again, your actions in the past have been YOUR fault. Not mom's. The fact that you've been gone is entirely at YOUR feet. Quit blaming mom for being cautious! If you have such an issue, take her to court for contempt for not following the court order to the letter. Get the modification you've been advised to.
Since I didn't get to see the post that is being presumed is your wife, I won't comment specifically on that. However, since she is a legal stranger, she has NO say whatsoever. She needs to either a) mind her own business or b) if she's already minding her own business (keeping out of the custody thing) keep on doing that. Legally speaking, she is a legal stranger. I have as much say about the custody and visitation of your child as she does in a court of law. You'd both better get used to that idea.