Laws regarding minor/adult relationships

[esoreyak]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC
My 16 year old daughter recently bacamce romantically involved with a 23-year-old male. The male is a friend of her father's family and her father at this point is allowing the relationship under the condition that they are not technically dating or having sex until she is 18. They talk on the phone excessively and the male which happens to live several hours away in Virgina visits her father's home on weekends, several times a month to see her. The two say they love each other and have even exchanged promise rings after only being involved a few months. To me it seems like dating, I really do not see the difference. The whole thing creeps me out! I am very concerned about the situation and feel strongly about putting an end to the relationship but am unsure of what is considered legal/illegal in the eyes of the law. Since her other parent is allowing the relationship to continue while she is there, I feel that there isn't much I can do about the situation other than restrict her from pursuing the relationship while she is with me.

 

[jsmith416]

You really think they're not having sex???? Honestly???

23 and 16 is statutory rape in either VA or NC.

 

[JETX]

The whole thing creeps me out! I am very concerned about the situation and feel strongly about putting an end to the relationship

Sorry, but won't happen on your own. If the father is condoning this activity, and even enabling it by providing a room/bed for them to play, you won't be able to stop this. Also, your post is not clear as to whether you and the father are still together and if not, who is the custodial parent.

but am unsure of what is considered legal/illegal in the eyes of the law.

The previous poster (claiming this was statutory rape) is NOT correct.
The age of consent in North Carolina is 16. Any sexual intercourse with a person under 16 years of age is prohibited unless the defendant is less than 3 years older than the victim except when married to the person {§14‑27.2, 14‑27.4 & 14‑27.7A}.

Since her other parent is allowing the relationship to continue while she is there, I feel that there isn't much I can do about the situation other than restrict her from pursuing the relationship while she is with me.

You are correct.

HOWEVER, depending on the FULL circumstances, you might consider pursuing 'delinquency of minor' charges against the 'boyfriend'. Here is the NC General Statute:
§ 14‑316.1. Contributing to delinquency and neglect by parents and others.
Any person who is at least 16 years old who knowingly or willfully causes, encourages, or aids any juvenile within the jurisdiction of the court to be in a place or condition, or to commit an act whereby the juvenile could be adjudicated delinquent, undisciplined, abused, or neglected as defined by G.S. 7B‑101 and G.S. 7B‑1501 shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor.

It is not necessary for the district court exercising juvenile jurisdiction to make an adjudication that any juvenile is delinquent, undisciplined, abused, or neglected in order to prosecute a parent or any person, including an employee of the Department of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention under this section. An adjudication that a juvenile is delinquent, undisciplined, abused, or neglected shall not preclude a subsequent prosecution of a parent or any other person including an employee of the Department of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, who contributes to the delinquent, undisciplined, abused, or neglected condition of any juvenile.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

if the poster is the custodial parent, he/she could get a restraining order against the 23 yo. And yes, that would mean that horny dude wouldn't/ couldn't be visiting said child over at NCP's place either.

 

[JETX]

if the poster is the custodial parent, he/she could get a restraining order against the 23 yo.

Yep... more ignorant crap from no-Think.

The OP might TRY to get a restraining order, but whether she gets one or not depends ENTIRELY on the court. The court doesn't just hand these out to every SD that requests one. In this case, there are no laws being broken, no physical injury, no threats of harm..... er go, NO RESTRAINING ORDER.

And yes, that would mean that horny dude wouldn't/ couldn't be visiting said child over at NCP's place either.

Must be nice living in that imaginary world. Do you really think that a RO is going to work when the parent (at the time) condones the violation??

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

While the child is underaged, YES, a parent could apply to the courts to keep a particular adult away from the underaged child.

I could guarantee you that if I had a 23 yo sniffing around my kiddo, that I would move heaven and earth to keep him away. Sorry, but the "they only talk" is like ... if you believe that, I have a bridge to sell to you.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

§ 14‑202.1. Taking indecent liberties with children.

(a) A person is guilty of taking indecent liberties with children if, being 16 years of age or more and at least five years older than the child in question, he either:

(1) Willfully takes or attempts to take any immoral, improper, or indecent liberties with any child of either sex under the age of 16 years for the purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire; or

(2) Willfully commits or attempts to commit any lewd or lascivious act upon or with the body or any part or member of the body of any child of either sex under the age of 16 years.

(b) Taking indecent liberties with children is punishable as a Class F felony.

The following information was taken directly from the North Carolina state legislation website at http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/gascripts/Statutes/StatutesTOC.pl?Chapter=0014

http://www.moraloutrage.net/staticpages/index.php?page=Northcarolina

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

§ 14‑184. Fornication and adultery.

If any man and woman, not being married to each other, shall lewdly and lasciviously associate, bed and cohabit together, they shall be guilty of a Class 2 misdemeanor: Provided, that the admissions or confessions of one shall not be received in evidence against the other.

Since kiddo is 16 - this one would stick.

 

[Ohiogal]

Since kiddo is 16 - this one would stick.

Psst... Lawrence v. Texas pretty much stated that adultery/fornication is not something that can really be prosecuted so it won't stick. Statutory rape is a possibility (haven't checked the actual statutes to see what crime this could be). The other issue is IF statutory rape is committed and daddy can be tied to allowing such a thing, he can also be prosecuted. I know it has happened in the past. Would NC prosecute? I don't know. But it is a possibility.

The conversations could possibly be breaking the law however without evidence we don't know.

 

[Ohiogal]

Yep... more ignorant crap from no-Think.

The OP might TRY to get a restraining order, but whether she gets one or not depends ENTIRELY on the court. The court doesn't just hand these out to every SD that requests one. In this case, there are no laws being broken, no physical injury, no threats of harm..... er go, NO RESTRAINING ORDER.


Must be nice living in that imaginary world. Do you really think that a RO is going to work when the parent (at the time) condones the violation??

Hey Jet can't you be a LITTLE NICER -- just a little -- to some seniors. Tink meant no harm.
Yeah I figure you will take off on me next. That is okay. Still like ya.

 

[JETX]

§ 14‑202.1. Taking indecent liberties with children.

(a) A person is guilty of taking indecent liberties with children if, being 16 years of age or more and at least five years older than the child in question, he either:

(1) Willfully takes or attempts to take any immoral, improper, or indecent liberties with any child of either sex under the age of 16 years for the purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire; or

(2) Willfully commits or attempts to commit any lewd or lascivious act upon or with the body or any part or member of the body of any child of either sex under the age of 16 years.

(b) Taking indecent liberties with children is punishable as a Class F felony.

I 'bold text' the parts of your post that you 'forgot' didn't apply since this child is NOT under 16 years of age!!
Which pretty much makes your post, like most of your others, useless.

 

[JETX]

Hey Jet can't you be a LITTLE NICER -- just a little -- to some seniors. Tink meant no harm.

Hmmm... interesting statement.
By 'meant no harm', did you mean that it was okay to make incorrect and erroneous posts in trying to provide LEGALLY ACCURATE advice on a legal advice forum??

Of course, any post that is NOT legally accurate has the potential for 'causing harm' if the OP relies on it and wastes time/money pursuing (or hoping) that a response is 'accurate'.

Yeah I figure you will take off on me next. That is okay. Still like ya.

OG, not a 'slam' at you... only at your apparent condoning inaccurate posts to the forum.

Hell, she even made a post providing a legal cite (#8 in this thread).... then in the same post admitted that it didn't apply!! Does that make ANY sense to you?? Does that appear to be a responsible RATIONAL person??

 

[esoreyak]

To make my situation more clear, her father and I have been divorced for 11 years. We never went to court over custody or any child support issues, deciding instead to work it out between the two of us. A decision that has worked out wondefully until now. So I guess neither of us is considered the custodial parent. However, since my job requires me to work overnight, both of my children spend more time with their father. I agree with all of you that it is crazy to believe that sex is not or will not be an issue before she turns eighteen. At this time the father, the stepmother, and my daughter all maintain that the couple are not allowed to be alone. Thus my ex states that they have not been and will not be given the opportunity to become intimate. I appreciate all of the great advice you have taken the time to give me, I hope this information makes things a little clearer.

 

[Ohiogal]

Hmmm... interesting statement.
By 'meant no harm', did you mean that it was okay to make incorrect and erroneous posts in trying to provide LEGALLY ACCURATE advice on a legal advice forum??

Of course, any post that is NOT legally accurate has the potential for 'causing harm' if the OP relies on it and wastes time/money pursuing (or hoping) that a response is 'accurate'.


OG, not a 'slam' at you... only at your apparent condoning inaccurate posts to the forum.

Hell, she even made a post providing a legal cite (#8 in this thread).... then in the same post admitted that it didn't apply!! Does that make ANY sense to you?? Does that appear to be a responsible RATIONAL person??

I understand what you are saying. And yes she is a rational person. Her biggest flaw is she is not legally trained. I am not condoning inaccurate posts. I correct people too --including seniors. I just tend to be a little nicer to seniors -- of course I am worse on newbies than you are. LOL. It is more of a defense of a friend than condoning inaccurate information.

 

[Ohiogal]

To make my situation more clear, her father and I have been divorced for 11 years. We never went to court over custody or any child support issues, deciding instead to work it out between the two of us. A decision that has worked out wondefully until now. So I guess neither of us is considered the custodial parent. However, since my job requires me to work overnight, both of my children spend more time with their father. I agree with all of you that it is crazy to believe that sex is not or will not be an issue before she turns eighteen. At this time the father, the stepmother, and my daughter all maintain that the couple are not allowed to be alone. Thus my ex states that they have not been and will not be given the opportunity to become intimate. I appreciate all of the great advice you have taken the time to give me, I hope this information makes things a little clearer.

SOMETHING had to be stated in your divorce papers about the children. Most likely you are joint custodians. Hopefully you have had a full discussion with your child regadring the birds and the bees. YOu have educated her about the consequences and the fact that there is no such thing as perfect birth control (except abstinence). And so on and so forth. The majority of this -- if no laws are being broken and it does not appear they are -- is a difference in parenting styles. Those are allowed. Those you get to deal with.