Fl. Seeking to Contest CS MOD from Deadbeat Mom in PA

[cylonfrogqueen]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida
I typed an expanded version of below, but lost it when posted to forum. I cannot type all again. This is the basic outline.

1997 Mother abandon child ages 4 -6 at my door. She had another child living with her that she also neglected. She upped and moved to PA to avoid Child neglect charges. 10 yrs of DOR (supplied them with phone, address, pics, her brothers and mothers infor in Pa and any locations I became aware of. ) They failed to serve her until 2008. 03/14/08 final judgement $351.00 monthy for minor children 11/17/92/06/21/90 and retroactive support of $10,179 @ rate of 34.00 month ( 2 yrs prior) . Income Deduction Order 03/14/2008 for amounts stated above. She was served with Delinquency 06/19/2008 Mother made payments of 177.69, 177.69, 123.30, 21.09,40.00, 713.00 (10/17/0-04/22/09. No other judical action has been taken. She has been in contempt of her Child Support payments.
Request from her to modify CS was recieved March 2009. WE had to fill out financial affadavits. And I contested the modification.
Now, 11/10/09 here comes Summons for support modification. She states umemployment. She is not married and conveniently has never "worked" in order to avoid. She is a master at State aid. and at unemployment or under employment. Historically- has 5 children total, 4 different biological fathers. No child, residses with her now. because the child was taken from her and put into Foster care. She pays support for that child in PA. I assume she is current even tho that child is well beyond the emacipation age.
On her affidavitt she says she pays.

Is there any way we can circumvent mod being lowered? I mean how can you modify zero payment. The state isn't willing to proscute her delinquecny. I have 20 days to respond to summons. Is there any response to a modication whereas the deadbeat is not employed/ recieving unemployment and waiting to hear about SSI? In PA, SSI disability can be for alcholism and drugs. She is quite physically and mentally capable of maintaining employment if she is not under the influence.

In my opinion and experience. The DOR never worked in the best interests for my children. The DOR doesn't work at all if parent has jumped States. I cannot afford the expense since this looks to be a losing battle and don't want to reinforce to my girls that the judical system is hogwash. But I want to answer negatively to the summons. Can you point me to any laws - I have researched the Fllorida Statues but they don't seem to help in this situation. Also the correct format to respond. Can I respond with a Motion for Civl Contempt/enforcement. Or is that a motion that should have been filed before her request for modication? If modicataion is approved in her favor: is it retroactive to the date of the request? How does that effect the support delinquent before that date.
What about the 2 yrs. prior retro amount of 10, 179.00? that should still be leved at what they determined and not subject to modification, correct?
Florida just looks at income. No expenses, no reasoning, no history.
Person not working... yep, they can't pay so lower the support.
that is just wrong. wrong wrong.

this isn't about money. lol. monatary support would be nice or would have been nice. It would be really nice if she was just a decent parent and emotionally did right by her children, by calling and visiting and being concerned at appropriate times.
How can deadbeats get away with this ... I need help to prove to my kids that DOR and the judical system really does work.
Directions to correct format I should respond with, legalise, laws, statues, case points etc. would greatly be appreciated. thank you for your time.

 

[Just Blue]

Who are you to these children?

 

[cylonfrogqueen]

I ( the writer) am actually the stepmother to the children, who in 1997 was the girlfriend of the father. My husband, isn't one to type this much on a open forum. lol. I, we, he, me , the situation is happening to US. We are the parents raising children. He is the biological father.
Although, an interesting note to this ,
is that a legal parenting plan or true custodial determination was never legaly acknowledge. He and the biological mother were never married. He was listed on the birth certificates as the father. ( we are not 100% sure that one daughter is actually his , but that doesn' t matter -he accepts full responsibility.) The Mother dumped them at his door when they were 4 and 6 ( along with another sibling 8 years old) and said she didn't want them anymore. My husband insisted that she take the sibling that was not his.
She has had minimal contact with the kids, although we have never stopped any contact. She has actually visited with them on 5 occassions here at our home ( lol. she slept in the kids bed for one entire visit after not seeing them for 4 years) and intermittent phone calls and cards. Now FB and AIM. Kids aren't impressed with her. We, up until now, have never told them the full story or talked badly about her. We have just said "you mom has problems and is unable to do more." They understand now.
The wonder why she isn't in jail or why we haven't done more to fight.
they ask if they should say something to her on FB or next time they talk to her. They have "bought into " the media hype that deadbeats go to jail. ( so did we at one time. lol)
As far as the legal situation of Modify CS .
The only thing I feel we can fight back with - is her financial affadavit. She says only income is "umemployment" check ( guess she says laid off indefinately) Isn't there a time limit in PA for receiving unemployment benefits? She lists SSI as pending. ( geesh...) she lists having to pay child support in PA..( that child should be emancipated and is in foster care but their laws may encompass secondary education -) she lists expenses of car payment and insurance, but does not list an asset of a car. She doesn't list rent or mortage or utlities but she lists that on her taxes she has 2 dependants. Her affadavitt says she goes -727.00 in the hole a month.
I know there is a proper format to respond to this summons and challenge the courts to make a more consise review ...
She was in the arrears before filing for mod. ( which I understand things are kind of suspended until a ruling there of) Isn't she in contempt of court for those amounts? Can I include a motion for contempt in my response or is that addressed seperately? I am also curious how the "back CS" awarded in lump sum amount is effected by this new modification.

It just doesn't seem right that the laws seem to protect and enable the mother who is avoiding and not living up to responsibilities. There must be some way to get the courts to look beyond the "income" line.

Again we are smart enough ( after all these years) to know that we will never actually see funds for support. But we damn sure don't want it just wiped clean off the slate ... its not right.

sorry for the confusion and all the type. arrrgh. I have never learned to be brief. lol ...

 

[cylonfrogqueen]

oh . we are here on free advice because I checked with some local attorneys to retain. At best it is $60.00 for consult fee $150.00 hour. mimimum $1,000 non refundable retainer. We Can't do.

 

[divona2000]

...I ( the writer) am actually the stepmother to the children, who in 1997 was the girlfriend of the father. My husband, isn't one to type this much on a open forum...He is the biological father.
...He and the biological mother were never married. He was listed on the birth certificates as the father. ( we are not 100% sure that one daughter is actually his , but that doesn' t matter -he accepts full responsibility.) The Mother dumped them at his door when they were 4 and 6...she slept in the kids bed for one entire visit after not seeing them for 4 years...

1. The seniors are going to tell you that Dad needs to be posting here.
2. So one of these children may not be his? Why hasn't a DNA test been done? She might have a father out there who doesn't know she exists...not fair to him.

 

[Just Blue]

I ( the writer) am actually the stepmother to the children, who in 1997 was the girlfriend of the father. My husband, isn't one to type this much on a open forum. lol. I, we, he, me , the situation is happening to US. We are the parents raising children. He is the biological father.
Although, an interesting note to this ,
is that a legal parenting plan or true custodial determination was never legaly acknowledge. He and the biological mother were never married. He was listed on the birth certificates as the father. ( we are not 100% sure that one daughter is actually his , but that doesn' t matter -he accepts full responsibility.) The Mother dumped them at his door when they were 4 and 6 ( along with another sibling 8 years old) and said she didn't want them anymore. My husband insisted that she take the sibling that was not his.
She has had minimal contact with the kids, although we have never stopped any contact. She has actually visited with them on 5 occassions here at our home ( lol. she slept in the kids bed for one entire visit after not seeing them for 4 years) and intermittent phone calls and cards. Now FB and AIM. Kids aren't impressed with her. We, up until now, have never told them the full story or talked badly about her. We have just said "you mom has problems and is unable to do more." They understand now.
The wonder why she isn't in jail or why we haven't done more to fight.
they ask if they should say something to her on FB or next time they talk to her. They have "bought into " the media hype that deadbeats go to jail. ( so did we at one time. lol)
As far as the legal situation of Modify CS .
The only thing I feel we can fight back with - is her financial affadavit. She says only income is "umemployment" check ( guess she says laid off indefinately) Isn't there a time limit in PA for receiving unemployment benefits? She lists SSI as pending. ( geesh...) she lists having to pay child support in PA..( that child should be emancipated and is in foster care but their laws may encompass secondary education -) she lists expenses of car payment and insurance, but does not list an asset of a car. She doesn't list rent or mortage or utlities but she lists that on her taxes she has 2 dependants. Her affadavitt says she goes -727.00 in the hole a month.
I know there is a proper format to respond to this summons and challenge the courts to make a more consise review ...
She was in the arrears before filing for mod. ( which I understand things are kind of suspended until a ruling there of) Isn't she in contempt of court for those amounts? Can I include a motion for contempt in my response or is that addressed seperately? I am also curious how the "back CS" awarded in lump sum amount is effected by this new modification.

It just doesn't seem right that the laws seem to protect and enable the mother who is avoiding and not living up to responsibilities. There must be some way to get the courts to look beyond the "income" line.

Again we are smart enough ( after all these years) to know that we will never actually see funds for support. But we damn sure don't want it just wiped clean off the slate ... its not right.

sorry for the confusion and all the type. arrrgh. I have never learned to be brief. lol ...

Please read the "sticky" at the top of the child custody forum. Edit your postings after you have read it. Thank You.

 

[hearts41]

oh . we are here on free advice because I checked with some local attorneys to retain. At best it is $60.00 for consult fee $150.00 hour. mimimum $1,000 non refundable retainer. We Can't do.

I am curious, how old are the kids now?

FL DOR will go after out of state NCP, its takes time, you have to stay on top of them and your case. Plus, your husband, the CP, can take the NCP to court. The seniors are going to tell you that there is no "us" "ours" and you are not involved in this whatsoever. You are a "legal stranger".

 

[Just Blue]

I am curious, how old are the kids now?

FL DOR will go after out of state NCP, its takes time, you have to stay on top of them and your case. Plus, your husband, the CP, can take the NCP to court.

The seniors are going to tell you

that there is no "us" "ours" and you are not involved in this whatsoever. You are a "legal stranger".

A judge will also tell this person that she is NOTHING (legally) to this case.

 

[cylonfrogqueen]

Thank you divona2000, hearts41, and Bluemeanie for your comment.

I have now read the sticky: and see that you are directing me to # 3 specifically. yes. The child has two parents. THE STEPPARENT is a legal stranger now and forever.

I can appreciate the “seniors” point of view if in fact this was a forum with any kind of judicial powers of recommendation or if inappropriate counseling could be held liable.
However, I do not appreciate after co-parenting these 2 girls, being reduced to someone not to be able to present this position on an open “FREE ADVICE” forum. (Smile).
I am well aware that legally I am not the one signing the response to the summons or one to bring action against this so called “parent”. Understandable the legality is between my husband and the biological mother. However, I and the girls are subject to whatever consequences that that are placed into judgment as a family. And as a family-
WE (I, as a spokesperson in a free advice forum) were soliciting perhaps some guidance in options or statues that could be researched for the HUSBAND’S response. I do understand in a court of law, I AM A LEGAL STRANGER NOW AND FOREVER. Thank you very much.

If the “seniors” or anyone here deems it inappropriate to respond to my posting. Then all I can say is thank you for the opportunity to post what I have and good day to you all.

divona2000
Regarding the issue of paternity. Smile. The mother, shall we say was fairly active sexually with many. I doubt that she even knew some of their names… (The things you will do for drugs, while your boyfriend is at work.) Yes, please lets get hung up on the morality issue of how unfair that is.. (Shaking my head smirking) Which man on the corner would you like to begin DNA testing on? Please. That isn’t quite the issue at hand. My husband decided that he didn’t want to know for sure and accepted the responsibility. We have managed to raise good decent girls in a stable healthy environment. We work for a living and abide by the law. We are pretty much a Typical average family. I mentioned it because I think it shows that my husband is a good and decent man that has always been one to take the responsibility, where as the mother has not. I should not have mentioned it because it does not have any bearing in this situation. That I err.
Now I am sure the next question formulating in your head is:
What was this wonderful man doing with the likes of her and how did he end up being responsible and fathering TWO children by her.
And my response is: sometimes life doesn’t hold a good answer. Stupidity? Love? Blindness? Glutton for punishment? Again not the point of this Free Advice Forum. Perhaps we should have sought out Oprah or Jerry Springer back in 1997.

hearts41
the girls are now 19 and 17. Yes, I know one has come to age. But the court order reads ......"until the youngest comes to"....
Yes, what you say is correct. The Fl DOR did finally get to her out of state. Stay on top of it? Smile. Yes. It Still took them 10 years to serve her. Yes, I understand. I get it. On this forum I am a legal stranger and not worthy of free advice.
But I thank you hearts41 , you seem genuinely interested in a personal touch to your reply ….. I do appreciate that. Unlike the the other greeters who have me really scared of the “seniors” now. What great centurions. Smile.


No need to call out the “seniors” on this legal stranger.
I am exiting the forum and withdrawing my query. thank you for your time....I am sure that it was amusing for you.

 

[Gracie3787]

In all honesty, I don't have time right now to read your entire post, however, I did read enough that some of this may be of help to you.

The father can get a 30 minute consult with an attorney for $25 by calling the Florida Bar Lawyer Referral Service at 1-800-342-8011 or on-line at:
The Florida Bar's Online Lawyer Referral Service

He can read the applicable laws in chapters 61, 88 and 409 at:
Statutes & Constitution :View Statutes : flsenate.gov

 

[cylonfrogqueen]

Thank you Gracie3787

 

[hearts41]

It was not amusing to me at all. I simply was giving you a heads up, so to speak, as to what you were in for if you continued to post in the manner in which you were posting for example "we" "us". I don't care to be honest with you, I understand where you are coming from, I have an x husband that did not show an interest in my two kids lives but my husband (their step dad) did and does. I dont agree with all the "legal stranger" crap. I know and my husband knows that he cannot interfere with the court stuff but as far as some of the tongue lashings that goes on here when step moms come on asking for advice, well its just needless, but hey thats just my humble opinion.

 

[Proserpina]

It was not amusing to me at all. I simply was giving you a heads up, so to speak, as to what you were in for if you continued to post in the manner in which you were posting for example "we" "us". I don't care to be honest with you, I understand where you are coming from, I have an x husband that did not show an interest in my two kids lives but my husband (their step dad) did and does. I dont agree with all the "legal stranger" crap. I know and my husband knows that he cannot interfere with the court stuff but as far as some of the tongue lashings that goes on here when step moms come on asking for advice, well its just needless, but hey thats just my humble opinion.

I would much rather get the tongue-lashing here than in court. By far.

 

[cylonfrogqueen]

Thank you again Hearts41. As I said before, you seemed to have a genuine concern even though I was posting (according to the forum “rules”) as a “legal stranger”. It is now, obvious as to why you have such compassion. Thank your for sharing your Kinship in this matter. I do appreciated your forum “tone” of voice/attitude. I can also appreciate the profession of legal expertise/advice and often its requirement to decipher law into black or white. It is or it isn’t. I KNOW you can’t color a stepparent in the court arena as parent with parental rights. I know it must be difficult and exhausting to try to explain that to others, that may not comprehend that law and “fair” are absolute two different things. lol.

What I did not appreciate was the blatant discrimination and finger pointing of “stranger danger” and the admonishment that the “senior” Gestapo will be eating me for lunch.I feel it would be much better in situations such as this, that the other gun-ho members draft a disclaimer line that shows a little more compassion, such as you did. Or not reply to the post at all. “ Ut , oh. The Seniors are going to chew you a new A—“
Isn’t very professional or welcoming.

People that register here to Solicit ‘free advice”, I am sure, can be the scum of the earth scouring for loopholes or ammunition or some pretty nice people in need of help. The scum of earth does make one callus over time. However, should not set the tone for every encounter. This is a free ADVICE forum for counseling and guidance , not a Federal courtroom. As for tongue lashings....smile....I came for free advice. Not to be brow beat or told how insignificant I am, to the scheme of things.

WE (the Husband) will draft his response in probably the not best of formats or up to protocol. and stand up for his position…letting the chips fall where they may. ( without legal assist)
Kids are raised. Smile. Good Kids that are at the brink of stepping out into the big world. WE (the legal Parent and the legal stranger) have made it this far, and we are almost done. The Mothers hasn’t given support before, we aren’t gonna get any now. THAT is the real Fact. The legal system is broke and has always been broke and only works for those that know how to “work it.” The cost it “too high” to hire a professional gambler (legal counsel * IMHO ) for some people likes us, to fight a derelict, rouge, deadbeat mother. You can’t get support out of someone who refuses to work. Simple as that.
And you can’t teach love…you either love or you don’t. There aren't any statues that can make that , any different. What I Was hoping was for a little free advice and guidance for my husband (us) to go into that legal arena more prepared, with the correct protocol? and perhaps able to strike a fatale blow to someone that seems to gets a way with absolutely everything. Or a slap? Chuckling.
In this situation, the satisfaction of a court saying “no” to her request for reduction in support would be nice. But it is only a piece of paper. The Mother will remain in contempt. She isn’t going to pay up or pay out. Even if she is incarnated, what does that do for anyone? LOL. So, the lesson may be for the kids now that they have become very aware and interested and watching this drama unfold, probably for the last time. They are the ones questioning why isn’t she in jail. They have bought societies rap that deadbeats go to jail. My husband and I already graduated from that school. Its hard to explain to your kids- That life ain’t fair and sometimes you have to to deal with what you are given. Sometimes, what you are given is far better, than the deal you can get fighting for something or paying for someone to show you how to fight. . You just have to weigh it out and chose which battles that are the most important to win and arm yourself with finding your own way. I think we won long ago….by her not being involved or paying. Smile.

This forum has been helpful. Venting to a big bunch of STRANGERS sometime is a good way to put things into perspective. Psychiatrist are pretty dang expensive too. Thanks! I think we are done here.

 

[Proserpina]

Uh...alrighty then...have fun with that.

Put those children first, k? It's not about you, your sense of indignation or anything else for that matter. And yes, I'm one of those step-parents. Who knows how far to go and when to step back.