Nana going against Parental wishes

[Proserpina]

Blah...Now you are sending mixed signals. Stop confusing me.

How do you feel about John Stewart for Pres in 2012??

Darling I would have voted for Stewart at least 2 elections ago.

Had I actually been able to vote, that is

 

[Just Blue]

Darling I would have voted for Stewart at least 2 elections ago.

Had I actually been able to vote, that is

Darn!! I knew I really liked you!

Isn't he just CUTE?? And SMART!!!!!!!?! I love smart men!!!

 

[Proserpina]

Darn!! I knew I really liked you!

Isn't he just CUTE?? And SMART!!!!!!!?! I love smart men!!!

Smart does it for me. And funny. Smart and funny?! Batten down the hatches 'coz I'm coming aboard!

 

[Proserpina]

Smart does it for me. And funny. Smart and funny?! Batten down the hatches 'coz I'm coming aboard!

(That was my "outside voice" again, wasn't it? )

 

[Just Blue]

(That was my "outside voice" again, wasn't it? )

Yeah...It was...

 

[TheGeekess]

Blah...Now you are sending mixed signals. Stop confusing me.

How do you feel about John Stewart for Pres in 2012??

I'm more of a Mr. Newt fan.

 

[TheGeekess]

ok several months ago the kids came home from GM's. The first thing my Son said to me. GM says your a pervert. First thing out of his mouth, not hi Dad, not a huge for Dad, not we hade a ball at GM's Dad. But Nana says your a pervert. Do you think she pulling a single punch here? Do you see any good reason in any of the biggoted bull GM slings. The Court talks about what's in the best interest of the child. I don't see any interest being served other than GM's hatred, and to heep it upon My children or anyone else's for that matter is nothing short of abusive behavior. Trying to make Dad out to be some kind of perverted monster, freak, weardo what ever IS ABUSIVE PERIOD. There may not be anything unlawfull. But I can't believe any of you can sit here and ask where the abuse is coming from. Are any of you smarter than a fifth grader? I know i'm not a lawyer and i bearly got through High school How can everyone in the imideate family believe what GM is doing is abusive/wrong and none of you see it. god even my EX's BF sees the hurt and problems GM is causing and not just with My little secret, but with all her hatefull words this has always been an issue with me I come from a family where there is a bi racial marrage with 2 Black cousins. She couldn't even so respect of that so which ever one said it sounds like it's all about me me me because you read a few dificult words from a troubled man going through a tough time does not give you the inside track to my head.

Dude, your children are going to hear that kind of thing from different people for the rest of their lives. Welcome to the real world.

Your job as a parent is to help those children learn that some people do think that way and that you don't agree with them or think that those folks are in any way, shape or form correct. You also must teach them that as American citizens, they have the right of free speech.

 

[Rushia]

I've been sitting on this since this am. I have a very different opinion altogether. Let's remember that this is a LEGAL board (as we so often toss at people) not a "let's just show off how "open" or nonhomophobic we really are" board. Can he legally do anything about gramma? I'm not sure and I won't pretend that I do in this kind of situation. Let's remember that she is a LEGAL stranger and as such she has NO RIGHTS to tell the children anything that the parents don't want her to tell them.

Further, I'm not sure if OP is running around in public in a dress (other than Halloween) or if this is strictly a "bedroom" situation. I kinda read it at such that it may be a bedroom situation. Do any of you tell your children exactly what goes on in your bedroom? I don't. Any fetish that I may or may not have is NONE of my children's business. Let's use OP's example of S&M. There is no age appropriate level in where you tell your children that you enjoy that. It is up to every person to decide where their sexuality and fetishes lay and not one person on this board has the right to determine whether or not someone should tell their children about it. And before someone slaps me for it...I'm not talking about things that are illegal (such as pedophilia).

We recently had a thread on this board in which a stepmom told her stepson that sex "felt good". Many of us were disgusted with that. Why is this different? Because OP wears a dress? WHY do a 5 and 6 year old NEED to know that?

Should they know birds and bees, well, sure, dependent upon their age and maturity level. My son is 10 now and I should have a talk with him, however, I don't think that he's ready. But I don't want him taken advantage of by someone who is ready and does know. Today's society (with teen sex and "age appropriate" conversations and openness with your children) is FORCING me/and my son into a situation that I don't think he's ready for.

Quite frankly, I agree with OP and I resent that people think a 5 and 6 year old NEED to be told that their father has a fetish. I do like the suggestion that "Gramma is being silly" and changing the subject. None of you have the right to judge him for NOT wanting to tell his children.

 

[happybug]

I don't know why you all think he should have told his children before his ExMIL did. His children were likely not going to find out eventually if Granny hadn't been slamming him. He is not a Transvestite. He does not live as a woman. He enjoys wearing women's clothing in the privacy of his bedroom alone or with a sexual partner. My children do not have a clue what I like in bed and I can't see a reason to ever discuss it with them. I am over 40 and I have no idea what turns my parents on sexually and I have a full and complete life. In fact, I would be happy to go to my grave never knowing the specifics of what goes on in my parents bedroom. OP, I agree with you that it is completely inappropriate for Granny to discuss your sex life with your grade school aged children but apparently it is OK legally according to the seniors.

For all the posters who think this is not a big deal and that OP should be having age appropriate discussions with his kids about this, would you be OK if your 6 year old came home from Granny's telling you that you like it in the behind or you enjoy large, purple BOBs?

ETA. Looks like Rushia and I were posting at the same time with similar ideas. I agree with her completely.

 

[Rushia]

I don't know why you all think he should have told his children before his ExMIL did. His children were likely not going to find out eventually if Granny hadn't been slamming him. He is not a Transvestite. He does not live as a woman. He enjoys wearing women's clothing in the privacy of his bedroom alone or with a sexual partner. My children do not have a clue what I like in bed and I can't see a reason to ever discuss it with them. I am over 40 and I have no idea what turns my parents on sexually and I have a full and complete life. In fact, I would be happy to go to my grave never knowing the specifics of what goes on in my parents bedroom. OP, I agree with you that it is completely inappropriate for Granny to discuss your sex life with your grade school aged children but apparently it is OK legally according to the seniors.

For all the posters who think this is not a big deal and that OP should be having age appropriate discussions with his kids about this, would you be OK if your 6 year old came home from Granny's telling you that you like it in the behind or you enjoy large, purple BOBs?

ETA. Looks like Rushia and I were posting at the same time with similar ideas. I agree with her completely.

LOL. I feel very stupid now and apparently uneducated. What is a large purple BOB? You can pm me. Dh isn't sure either but might have a few ideas.

 

[happybug]

LOL. I feel very stupid now and apparently uneducated. What is a large purple BOB? You can pm me. Dh isn't sure either but might have a few ideas.

BOB = Battery Operated Boyfriend

 

[Rushia]

BOB = Battery Operated Boyfriend

ROTFLMAO!! DH's ideas were a LOT worse.

 

[Proserpina]

I've been sitting on this since this am. I have a very different opinion altogether. Let's remember that this is a LEGAL board (as we so often toss at people) not a "let's just show off how "open" or nonhomophobic we really are" board. Can he legally do anything about gramma? I'm not sure and I won't pretend that I do in this kind of situation. Let's remember that she is a LEGAL stranger and as such she has NO RIGHTS to tell the children anything that the parents don't want her to tell them.

Neither parent can stop Grandma from talking. THAT is the legal reality. If either parent wishes to control who will be around their children, that would be a different matter entirely.

We recently had a thread on this board in which a stepmom told her stepson that sex "felt good". Many of us were disgusted with that. Why is this different? Because OP wears a dress? WHY do a 5 and 6 year old NEED to know that?

Seriously? It actually worries me that someone may not see the difference between this example and OP's situation.

There is a VAST and very important difference.

 

[Rushia]

Neither parent can stop Grandma from talking. THAT is the legal reality. If either parent wishes to control who will be around their children, that would be a different matter entirely.

Gee many parents have court orders that say something to the effect that neither parent shall disparage the other (or allow third parties to do so) in the presence of the child. Gramma qualifies as a third party and if dad gets this in to court I would imagine that mom would be told to such her up. If happy and I are right and this is a PRIVATE bedroom activity then the children don't need to know and wouldn't have UNLESS gramma told them. It is GRAMMA who is making him out to be a "pervert".

Really, Dog, do you want to challenge me on third parties? I am the princess as I view Ldij as the queen on the subject. You being a stepparent isn't the same as a gp who could possibly sue. Although you are both third parties, gps are still different.

Seriously? It actually worries me that someone may not see the difference between this example and OP's situation.

There is a VAST and very important difference.

Not really, that stepmom thinks sex feels good. OP thinks dressing in a dress feels good. Neither is anything to be ashamed of but it isn't the right of a stepparent or a grandparent to tell the children about any kind of sex at all. The technicality of sex is one thing, the personal explorations of a couple are between the couple and not the business of their children.

All of this "openness" and "age appropriate" discussion puts MORE emphasis on the fact that they are "different".

 

[Proserpina]

Gee many parents have court orders that say something to the effect that neither parent shall disparage the other (or allow third parties to do so) in the presence of the child. Gramma qualifies as a third party and if dad gets this in to court I would imagine that mom would be told to such her up. If happy and I are right and this is a PRIVATE bedroom activity then the children don't need to know and wouldn't have UNLESS gramma told them. It is GRAMMA who is making him out to be a "pervert".

Really, Dog, do you want to challenge me on third parties? I am the princess as I view Ldij as the queen on the subject. You being a stepparent isn't the same as a gp who could possibly sue. Although you are both third parties, gps are still different.

I'm sorry? Where on earth did that come from?!

The reality is this: you can have the biggest, baddest court order in the world signed by Oprah herself (who does appear to, at times, have more influence than anyone else) and STILL the parents will not be able to stop Gramma from talking. Yes, we're both aware that many parents have such clauses - and we're both also aware that enforcing this is nigh on impossible.

The ONLY way this will be stopped is if one or both stop taking the kids to Gramma's house. That's the reality.

Not really, that stepmom thinks sex feels good. OP thinks dressing in a dress feels good. Neither is anything to be ashamed of but it isn't the right of a stepparent or a grandparent to tell the children about any kind of sex at all. The technicality of sex is one thing, the personal explorations of a couple are between the couple and not the business of their children.

You and I disagree on this one - but this isn't a surprise. We've had this discussion

I see a very big difference.

All of this "openness" and "age appropriate" discussion puts MORE emphasis on the fact that they are "different".

Ditto previous response.