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purplegreen

Junior Member
I am wondering the age of your daughter.

It might make a difference in the appropriateness of visitation in the half way house. A very young child might adapt quickly and not even really notice anything other than getting to see daddy. An older child might be more likely to find the atmosphere strained or uncomfortable.

If the goal is to create a comfortable way for you to reconnect with your daughter you are going to need to think long and hard about what will be best for her. Even if that means waiting until you can be in a more traditional family setting for those visits.
 


yeah your probable right there, I guess I will just have to wait then, I am glad she can't totally change my daughters name though, well I appriciate all the help, Thank you so much
I have to ask. What is the big deal with the name? I just find it so strange that some parents freak out about the name (stamp of ownership? Marking their territory?). You obviously have made some serious mistakes in your life, you are contemplating how to get visitation in a place probably full of felons, and thank goodness your ex can't change your daughter's name? Are you concerned about supporting her too? Might I also point out, the baby is a girl. Chances are, her name will change in the future again.

I'm not saying you should allow a name change, but why the importance on that? Not just in your case, but in general? You apparently think it is okay to bring your child into a halfway house presumably full of people that have committed crimes, I would be shocked to hear that you are contributing her support, but gosh, she is yours, she has your name!

What is up with that? And while you are not legally established as the father you aren't required to pay support, I assume you are prepared to contribute to the support of your daughter?

I'm not trying to be extra hard on you, but don't make mistake upon mistake. If an ankle monitor is in your future, chances are that there are some unsavory people residing in that halfway house with you, yes? Are you putting away support for your daughter? What are you doing in your life to make changes so you can be a constant presence in her life? Can you blame Mom for not wanting you around the baby, really? You are going to have to prove to Mom and the courts that you want to step up and be a real father.

Perhaps your daughter will give you a new focus in life and steer you on the right path...but don't let your wants supersede what is best for your daughter.
 

Dave Bosch

Junior Member
I am wondering the age of your daughter.

It might make a difference in the appropriateness of visitation in the half way house. A very young child might adapt quickly and not even really notice anything other than getting to see daddy. An older child might be more likely to find the atmosphere strained or uncomfortable.

If the goal is to create a comfortable way for you to reconnect with your daughter you are going to need to think long and hard about what will be best for her. Even if that means waiting until you can be in a more traditional family setting for those visits.
she will be 2 on dec. 19th but I thin you are right I need to wait until there is a more comfortable invironment for her, whats best for her even if that means not seein her for a while, thanks for your advise
 

Dave Bosch

Junior Member
I have to ask. What is the big deal with the name? I just find it so strange that some parents freak out about the name (stamp of ownership? Marking their territory?). You obviously have made some serious mistakes in your life, you are contemplating how to get visitation in a place probably full of felons, and thank goodness your ex can't change your daughter's name? Are you concerned about supporting her too? Might I also point out, the baby is a girl. Chances are, her name will change in the future again.

I'm not saying you should allow a name change, but why the importance on that? Not just in your case, but in general? You apparently think it is okay to bring your child into a halfway house presumably full of people that have committed crimes, I would be shocked to hear that you are contributing her support, but gosh, she is yours, she has your name!

What is up with that? And while you are not legally established as the father you aren't required to pay support, I assume you are prepared to contribute to the support of your daughter?

I'm not trying to be extra hard on you, but don't make mistake upon mistake. If an ankle monitor is in your future, chances are that there are some unsavory people residing in that halfway house with you, yes? Are you putting away support for your daughter? What are you doing in your life to make changes so you can be a constant presence in her life? Can you blame Mom for not wanting you around the baby, really? You are going to have to prove to Mom and the courts that you want to step up and be a real father.

Perhaps your daughter will give you a new focus in life and steer you on the right path...but don't let your wants supersede what is best for your daughter.
well thats is why I am wanting to go into the halfway house because I don't make enough money to do anything but pay for my anle moniter and trearment but, I actually don't pay them sometime because I needed to make sure she has what she needs but, now that we are not talkin anymore, she wont even ake money or anything from me but, she is on welfare now so there wiil be a support order, which I am more than willing to pay if it is being used for my daughter but chances are it wont be, well thanks for the advice
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
well thats is why I am wanting to go into the halfway house because I don't make enough money to do anything but pay for my anle moniter and trearment but, I actually don't pay them sometime because I needed to make sure she has what she needs but, now that we are not talkin anymore, she wont even ake money or anything from me but, she is on welfare now so there wiil be a support order, which I am more than willing to pay if it is being used for my daughter but chances are it wont be, well thanks for the advice
Dave, I'm going to answer you here too but in future...it's easier if you keep all of your questions in one thread :)

With that said...Mom doesn't have to spend the child support directly on your daughter. It's meant to reimburse the custodial parent (or, in this case, child support people).
 

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