Child's Surname

[ecmst12]

The choice whether to have an abortion is the ONLY choice related to that child that solely belongs to you. Once you decided to carry it to term, EVERY decision made about him or her for the next 18 years will be decided JOINTLY by both of you. The father can't force the child to have ONLY his last name just as you can't force it to have only yours. You do the hard work in bringing it into the world, but everything after that can and should be shared. The baby is part of both of you so why not have both names, if that's what his dad wants?

And who knows, maybe dad won't mind baby having your name only. If he concedes that to you, take it as an extremely gracious gesture and try to return the favor in some way. Don't start your baby's life out with negativity and conflict.

 

[ecmst12]

Also, you do realize that dad's name being on the birth certificate identifying him as the father has NOTHING to do with the CHILD'S name, right?

 

[playboymommy]

Wow, you clearly think that you created this child all on your own, and therefore have 100% rights to it while daddy has zero forever. Maybe you shouldn't have any more since every child deserves (and has the right to have) TWO parents.

No, actually, I don't think that. He will absolutely have every right to the child, and he will absolutely be a part of the child's life. I just want the child to have my last name instead of his.

I'm not one of these crazy ladies that is going to keep her kid from the dad. I didn't have it done to me, even though he didn't pay CS, and I'm not going to do it to him. He's a really great guy, and he's going to be a fantastic father, again, just want to skip his last name. I don't think that's too much to ask.

 

[playboymommy]

Also, you do realize that dad's name being on the birth certificate identifying him as the father has NOTHING to do with the CHILD'S name, right?

Yes, I understand that. He'll be on the BC, just want baby to have my last name. Thanks.

 

[ecmst12]

I would suggest that the best way to handle this is to have the conversation with dad and get his OK before the birth. Less stress on you and baby that way.

 

[Isis1]

Yes, I understand that. He'll be on the BC, just want baby to have my last name. Thanks.

then that wasn't the law to cite. that only clarifies who the father is listed. NOT the baby's name.

and please, don't name your child a food snack name...that was only a joke!

 

[playboymommy]

then that wasn't the law to cite. that only clarifies who the father is listed. NOT the baby's name.

and please, don't name your child a food snack name...that was only a joke!

Oops, sorry about that. Misread!

I was going to name it Strawberry Chocolate Struedel if it was a boy. Guess that's not such a good idea?? lol Regardless, it sounds delicious!!!

 

[Zigner]

FS 382.013(2)(a):

(2) PATERNITY.--

(a) If the mother is married at the time of birth, the name of the husband shall be entered on the birth certificate as the father of the child, unless paternity has been determined otherwise by a court of competent jurisdiction.

Yes, the father's name will be there, by law. However, that does NOT state that the CHILD must have the father's name as his/her own

As for your "rights", you are talking about rights while you are pregnant. Those are NOT rights as they relate to the child.

 

[Zigner]

Something about this OP makes me want to puke.

 

[Gracie3787]

Something about this OP makes me want to puke.

Yep, I see many years of problems for the OP unless she changes her attitude.

 

[playboymommy]

Yep, I see many years of problems for the OP unless she changes her attitude.

Attitude? I really don't have one. The father will be a part of the child's life. I have no issue with the father, we are on good terms, we've discussed child support, as well as a number of other things. We are going to be making as many decisions together as we can.

The only thing I'm really wanting, besides these blessed headaches to subside, would be for the child to have my last name. I don't think that's completely outrageous, and I don't see why wanting something non-traditional will cause "many years of problems" unless I change my "attitude".

Yes, I understand parenthood. Raised by a single mom, with a dad who didn't always show and rarely paid support, I helped raise my sister, and when my sister had her daughter a year ago, I've done more than my share to help raise her, as well.

I work for an attorney, who I probably could have gone to about this, but I choose to keep work and personal life separate, so I came here instead. I don't think I'm asking for the world. I'm not asking for him to never see the child or to not be a part of it's life, I'm asking for a last name, and if that gives off the impression that things are going to be difficult because of my "attitude", well, I guess things will be a little different, but not difficult.

The dad goes to every doctor appointment with me. He is informed of everything from my eating habits to my sleep patterns to my bowel movements. He wants to be included, and I do my very best to include him. I'm not kicking him out of my life or the baby's - in gestation or otherwise - I just don't think wanting the child, who will be living with me most of the time, to have my last name is such a terrible thing.

If I gave off the wrong impression to people, that I would somehow go out of my way to exclude the father (which is just wrong on a multitude of levels - kids needs parents, they aren't bargaining chips), or be a horrible mother, then I apologize. The kid will have 2 parents that love it unconditionally, and will be there, I assure you of that.

 

[Zigner]

The kid will have 2 parents that love it unconditionally...

Unless she has that icky last name!