Overnights with newborn

[Proserpina]

She wants me at the delivery. The only problem that I have with her is how often I get to see the baby after she is born and I know that is easily taken care of in court. I have recently enrolled in parenting classes. I know that I have much to learn with that and with all this legal stuff!

So why did you have to ask that the boyfriend not be present and ask if you could be there?

Seriously - you're way ahead of yourself.

 

[LdiJ]

Remind you of anyone? Turning up at the hospital...etc., etc.

Kind of...although this is the first time I can recall someone wanting to spend the night. That's definitely a bit creepy.

 

[shesaidwhat]

I can definitely see why one might think this situation would be a bit creepy and just downright strange.

That said, I don't think the OP in this specific situation is coming off that way. If the mother is ok with his spending the night with his (assumed) newborn child in the hospital, shouldn't that be a good thing? Isn't it positive that he wants to be involved? If the two of them (Mom and Dad) are able to be this amicable then I commend them both. Hopefully it stays that way for the child's sake.

Now on the other hand, if Mom is not ok with this in some way or she's just agreeing to avoid conflict because you're badgering her or are creeping her out, it should end immediately.

 

[Nicaho]

Kind of...although this is the first time I can recall someone wanting to spend the night. That's definitely a bit creepy.

So creepy for a father to want to spend that one night with his daughter knowing that he will not get another for a long time. It's not like I would be sleeping but just looking at my newborn daughter Some fathers want nothing to do with their kids and then some like me want everything. That's not a bad thing to want. I know I will not get it all. And it was stated that the infant won;t even know I am there. True. But maybe that's something she appreciates later on in life. I don't know.

 

[Proserpina]

So creepy for a father to want to spend that one night with his daughter knowing that he will not get another for a long time. It's not like I would be sleeping but just looking at my newborn daughter Some fathers want nothing to do with their kids and then some like me want everything. That's not a bad thing to want. I know I will not get it all. And it was stated that the infant won;t even know I am there. True. But maybe that's something she appreciates later on in life. I don't know.

You do not have a daughter - please understand that. I KNOW it hurts, but it's the legal truth.

 

[Isis1]

Remind you of anyone? Turning up at the hospital...etc., etc.

speak of the devil....*cough* *cough*

 

[Isis1]

So creepy for a father to want to spend that one night with his daughter knowing that he will not get another for a long time. It's not like I would be sleeping but just looking at my newborn daughter Some fathers want nothing to do with their kids and then some like me want everything. That's not a bad thing to want. I know I will not get it all. And it was stated that the infant won;t even know I am there. True. But maybe that's something she appreciates later on in life. I don't know.

look, at some weird part it IS a bit creepy. everything not normal can be creey at first.

however, i have a bit different view on this. if YOU want to spend sleepless nights with kiddo, BE MY GUEST!! i would love to switch with you so i can get some much needed sleep. you want to stick around so i can break a bone in your hand for every contraction i get, come on over.

just don't bring your current girlfriend to the hospital. please.


if mom is okay with this, don't sleep in the room. respect her space. if the baby falls asleep, leave the room. go take a walk, call every person you know with an update on the baby. take pictures and pictures upon pictures so you can send them from your cell phone. go buy mom some food so you have an excuse to hold the baby while she eats. don't stay all day in her room. if the baby takes off to the nursery, follow the baby. pretty much, if the baby isn't in the room, stay out of it.

 

[Nicaho]

look, at some weird part it IS a bit creepy. everything not normal can be creey at first.

however, i have a bit different view on this. if YOU want to spend sleepless nights with kiddo, BE MY GUEST!! i would love to switch with you so i can get some much needed sleep. you want to stick around so i can break a bone in your hand for every contraction i get, come on over.

just don't bring your current girlfriend to the hospital. please.


if mom is okay with this, don't sleep in the room. respect her space. if the baby falls asleep, leave the room. go take a walk, call every person you know with an update on the baby. take pictures and pictures upon pictures so you can send them from your cell phone. go buy mom some food so you have an excuse to hold the baby while she eats. don't stay all day in her room. if the baby takes off to the nursery, follow the baby. pretty much, if the baby isn't in the room, stay out of it.

No current girlfriend at this time and no plans on looking until after the baby and things are established.

After reading all of this I think I will not ask again about staying the night. If she offers I will take it. I'm sorry that I am confused about many things. Sometimes it is hard to know what is right and what is wrong...and what's creepy! I'm trying to do the best I can with the situation I have been given. Thanks for helping

 

[Ohiogal]

look, at some weird part it IS a bit creepy. everything not normal can be creey at first.

however, i have a bit different view on this. if YOU want to spend sleepless nights with kiddo, BE MY GUEST!! i would love to switch with you so i can get some much needed sleep. you want to stick around so i can break a bone in your hand for every contraction i get, come on over.

just don't bring your current girlfriend to the hospital. please.


if mom is okay with this, don't sleep in the room. respect her space. if the baby falls asleep, leave the room. go take a walk, call every person you know with an update on the baby. take pictures and pictures upon pictures so you can send them from your cell phone. go buy mom some food so you have an excuse to hold the baby while she eats. don't stay all day in her room. if the baby takes off to the nursery, follow the baby. pretty much, if the baby isn't in the room, stay out of it.

I will echo this advice. Be there for the child and don't bring your new partner/bedbuddy.

 

[Silverplum]

No current girlfriend at this time and no plans on looking until after the baby and things are established.

After reading all of this I think I will not ask again about staying the night. If she offers I will take it. I'm sorry that I am confused about many things. Sometimes it is hard to know what is right and what is wrong...and what's creepy! I'm trying to do the best I can with the situation I have been given. Thanks for helping

Don't be sorry for having questions.

And don't let the Ubermommie-types here rolleyes:) freak you out: you are not "creepy" for wanting to see and spend time with your newborn child. It's just a double standard of theirs -- you don't need to take on their unfair and unkind attitudes. The Ubermommies would see nothing "creepy" about another of their sort wanting to spend time "bonding" with the baby. Only Dads are "creepy" to them. Evaluate their crud for what it's worth.

Go forth and be the best Daddy you can be.

 

[LdiJ]

Don't be sorry for having questions.

And don't let the Ubermommie-types here rolleyes:) freak you out: you are not "creepy" for wanting to see and spend time with your newborn child. It's just a double standard of theirs -- you don't need to take on their unfair and unkind attitudes. The Ubermommies would see nothing "creepy" about another of their sort wanting to spend time "bonding" with the baby. Only Dads are "creepy" to them. Evaluate their crud for what it's worth.

Go forth and be the best Daddy you can be.

The only thing anybody thought was creepy was him wanting to spend the night at the hospital. Mom's not a brood mare ya know...she will deserve a LITTLE privacy after having given birth.

 

[proud_parent]

Remind you of anyone? Turning up at the hospital...etc., etc.

IMO, the circumstances are quite different in that this OP is the putative father of the unborn child. That other poster who famously turned up at the hospital against the mother's wishes was not even putatively related to the child.

 

[mommyof4]

Don't be sorry for having questions.

And don't let the Ubermommie-types here rolleyes:) freak you out: you are not "creepy" for wanting to see and spend time with your newborn child. It's just a double standard of theirs -- you don't need to take on their unfair and unkind attitudes. The Ubermommies would see nothing "creepy" about another of their sort wanting to spend time "bonding" with the baby. Only Dads are "creepy" to them. Evaluate their crud for what it's worth.

Go forth and be the best Daddy you can be.

I don't think it's 'creepy', either. As long as he is polite, offers Mom privacy when needed/wanted, doesn't 'pressure' Mom for anything re: custody, etc., and Mom is okay with it, I don't see a problem.

This is assuming that Mom is even in the hospital long enough to have to worry about an overnight visit.

Honestly? I find it MUCH more creepy that she's going to have Probable Daddy and new boyfriend in the room together while laboring/giving birth.

 

[Proserpina]

IMO, the circumstances are quite different in that this OP is the putative father of the unborn child. That other poster who famously turned up at the hospital against the mother's wishes was not even putatively related to the child.

Nowhere did I say it was the same situation. On one hand OP said he'd ASKED to be present and she hadn't gotten back to him...and then said that she WANTED him present. Then we have Mom wanting him to be there but getting very upset if custody/visitation is being discussed. Now I know she's hormonal but something isn't adding up.

With that said it wouldn't be the first time I'd read too much into something and I shall certainly re-read what's been said and question my own reasoning here.

 

[LdiJ]

Nowhere did I say it was the same situation. On one hand OP said he'd ASKED to be present and she hadn't gotten back to him...and then said that she WANTED him present. Then we have Mom wanting him to be there but getting very upset if custody/visitation is being discussed. Now I know she's hormonal but something isn't adding up.

With that said it wouldn't be the first time I'd read too much into something and I shall certainly re-read what's been said and question my own reasoning here.

I think we are talking about two different things. I think that mom has expressed approval for dad being present for the birth, but has not yet given him an answer as to whether or not she is ok with him spending the night in the hospital after the baby is born.

Two separate things.