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Ohiogal

Queen Bee
No I have not paid support. I don't have money.

Thank you for your reply
So you have not done ANYTHING for your child in two years while you were being selfish and doing for you. The time to be selfish is BEFORE you have a child not after. YOU have not visited, have not provided for your child. Be prepared for dad to get a court order for support. Oh and if dad is remarried, be prepared for his wife to move to adopt based on your ABANDONMENT of your child. Quite frankly you are right on the line of having abandoned your child. Congrats. You have no right truthfully to complain about dad moving. What schooling was so important that you had to leave the COUNTRY to do?
 

Twicemom

Junior Member
So you have not done ANYTHING for your child in two years while you were being selfish and doing for you. The time to be selfish is BEFORE you have a child not after. YOU have not visited, have not provided for your child. Be prepared for dad to get a court order for support. Oh and if dad is remarried, be prepared for his wife to move to adopt based on your ABANDONMENT of your child. Quite frankly you are right on the line of having abandoned your child. Congrats. You have no right truthfully to complain about dad moving. What schooling was so important that you had to leave the COUNTRY to do?
My sister has been supporting me and paying for my school. I went back to school so I can make a better life for my kids.
 

Twicemom

Junior Member
OP, is there is some button you can push on your child so they don't need food and clothing until you can contribute? How do YOU eat if you "don't have money"?
Again, my sister is supporting me. She lives in a different country and it was cheaper to go to school there. I don't have extra money to send for support right now but when I finish school and get a job then I can. I only want to be able to support my kids on my own. That's why left to go to school in the first place!
 

Zephyr

Senior Member
Again, my sister is supporting me. She lives in a different country and it was cheaper to go to school there. I don't have extra money to send for support right now but when I finish school and get a job then I can. I only want to be able to support my kids on my own. That's why left to go to school in the first place!
when will you be done with school

and what would you ask the courts for right now anyway?
 

pittrocks

Member
The fact that you didn't seem to try to have meaningful contact with your child isn't going to help you at all.

Even if you were out of the country, you still could have hopped on a plane during school breaks and visited your child!

And you didn't have anything extra to send your child...that's why you get a JOB to help support your child that you chose to bring into the world.

You said your sister is supporting you AND paying for your schooling...do you expect everyone to do for you??

Be prepared for Dad to have primary custody and you starting with a graduated visitation schedule, and YES, you will have to pay support.

Start looking for a job ASAP.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
My sister has been supporting me and paying for my school. I went back to school so I can make a better life for my kids.
Goody for you. However you are responsible for supporting your CHILD. You forgot about her. You haven't done ANYTHING for her in two years nearly. That is NOT an excuse that YOU wanted to go back to school. Your child still needed fed, clothed, and taken care of. You did NONE of that.
 

Twicemom

Junior Member
I have tried to contact them but most of the time there is no answer. Dad called all the time for the first year because he said my daughter needed to have consistent contact with me at her age, but when he found out I was seeing someone else he stopped calling. He said if I wanted to talk to her I have to call. I only reached them a few times since because most of the time no answer.

That's why I am here now on my break to see her, but now they're not here. It took me all this time to save enough money to come here.
 

Twicemom

Junior Member
Goody for you. However you are responsible for supporting your CHILD. You forgot about her. You haven't done ANYTHING for her in two years nearly. That is NOT an excuse that YOU wanted to go back to school. Your child still needed fed, clothed, and taken care of. You did NONE of that.
I didn't forget about her, but I'm in my 40's now and was in a bad situation then, and going back to school was my only option to have a future my kids!
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
No I have not paid support. I don't have money.

Thank you for your reply
You need to be working and supporting your child - period.

To elaborate on what I asked earlier, had you actually been in regular contact with Dad and he'd been withholding your child knowing that you wanted to be in touch, you may have had at least something to suggest that you've been trying.

You don't have that. I'm sorry, but your lack of contact and support is NOT going to help you regardless of your reasoning. I cannot for the life of me understand why you haven't even kept in touch. :confused:
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Again, my sister is supporting me. She lives in a different country and it was cheaper to go to school there. I don't have extra money to send for support right now but when I finish school and get a job then I can. I only want to be able to support my kids on my own. That's why left to go to school in the first place!
But that still doesn't excuse going so long without even the slightest contact - that isn't supporting your kids.
 

Twicemom

Junior Member
But that still doesn't excuse going so long without even the slightest contact - that isn't supporting your kids.
My EH who is taking care of my 15 year old answers his phone and I get to talk to our son almost every 2 weeks, so why won't my daughters dad answer his phone when I call?
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
My EH who is taking care of my 15 year old answers his phone and I get to talk to our son almost every 2 weeks, so why won't my daughters dad answer his phone when I call?
I have no idea - I'm not him. But what are you going to say when you're asked why you didn't do anything to least try to establish a long-distance parenting plan?

The harsh truth is that you could have done several things and you're coming up with excuses. There are many ways you can continue a healthy long-distance relationship (skype/webcam contact is popular now) with your child...but it takes effort.
 
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