daughter doesn't want her son around but still wants control of him

[abrakay]

from Montana: my daughter, emily, lives in utah with her new boyfriend of 1 month that she met on the internet. she has shared custody with her daughter's father. the father adopted her son while married. her daughter stays with dad most of the time. her son is with us in Montana. the adoptive dad disowned the dillon and she gave us a 6-month temporary power of attorney for his medical care and school issues. (that expires in feb - at that time I believe dillon is a resident of Montana and anything legal we do can be done from here instead of Utah. ) But as time goes on, she rarely calls, has never visited and hasn't sent any financial support. we had to drive half way to utah for dillon to see his mom for thanksgiving and his birthday of which she spent the time moving in with boyfriend while dillon had chinese for thanksgiving. She wrote that she didn't know if she wanted him back at the end of the school year. (he is like living with her ex) She has sent all of his clothes - and just now Christmas presents - She hasn't made any effort to have a plan for getting him home -I have found a counselor for him and taken him to the dentist, etc. but our insurance won't cover him unless we have full guardianship or temporary custody - so: what is the best option - I want it to be temporary because i still hope she'll get it together - maybe something that says she has to. She won't want to sign off on anything unless its to her advantage -What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Zigner]

from Montana: my daughter, emily, lives in utah with her new boyfriend of 1 month that she met on the internet. she has shared custody with her daughter's father. the father adopted her son while married. her daughter stays with dad most of the time. her son is with us in Montana. the adoptive dad disowned the dillon and she gave us a 6-month temporary power of attorney for his medical care and school issues. (that expires in feb - at that time I believe dillon is a resident of Montana and anything legal we do can be done from here instead of Utah. ) But as time goes on, she rarely calls, has never visited and hasn't sent any financial support. we had to drive half way to utah for dillon to see his mom for thanksgiving and his birthday of which she spent the time moving in with boyfriend while dillon had chinese for thanksgiving. She wrote that she didn't know if she wanted him back at the end of the school year. (he is like living with her ex) She has sent all of his clothes - and just now Christmas presents - She hasn't made any effort to have a plan for getting him home -I have found a counselor for him and taken him to the dentist, etc. but our insurance won't cover him unless we have full guardianship or temporary custody - so: what is the best option - I want it to be temporary because i still hope she'll get it together - maybe something that says she has to. She won't want to sign off on anything unless its to her advantage -What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Thanks for sharing...

 

[TheGeekess]

from Montana: my daughter, emily, lives in utah with her new boyfriend of 1 month that she met on the internet. she has shared custody with her daughter's father. the father adopted her son while married. her daughter stays with dad most of the time. her son is with us in Montana. the adoptive dad disowned the dillon and she gave us a 6-month temporary power of attorney for his medical care and school issues. (that expires in feb - at that time I believe dillon is a resident of Montana and anything legal we do can be done from here instead of Utah. ) But as time goes on, she rarely calls, has never visited and hasn't sent any financial support. we had to drive half way to utah for dillon to see his mom for thanksgiving and his birthday of which she spent the time moving in with boyfriend while dillon had chinese for thanksgiving. She wrote that she didn't know if she wanted him back at the end of the school year. (he is like living with her ex) She has sent all of his clothes - and just now Christmas presents - She hasn't made any effort to have a plan for getting him home -I have found a counselor for him and taken him to the dentist, etc. but our insurance won't cover him unless we have full guardianship or temporary custody - so: what is the best option - I want it to be temporary because i still hope she'll get it together - maybe something that says she has to. She won't want to sign off on anything unless its to her advantage -What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I call BS. Dad cannot 'disown' a child he has adopted no more than he could 'disown' daughter. Legally he's DAD and he still has rights. Now whether or not he chooses to exercise those rights....

 

[happybug]

I don't think he/she means Dad legally disowned the child I think he/she means dad has decided to no longer exercise his rights. The OP did state that dad was the one who signed the temp. POA papers for them. Obviously he is still legally dad.

 

[TheGeekess]

I don't think he/she means Dad legally disowned the child I think he/she means dad has decided to no longer exercise his rights. The OP did state that dad was the one who signed the temp. POA papers for them. Obviously he is still legally dad.

No, go read the post again....

Originally Posted by abrakay
from Montana: my daughter, emily, lives in utah with her new boyfriend of 1 month that she met on the internet. she has shared custody with her daughter's father. the father adopted her son while married. her daughter stays with dad most of the time. her son is with us in Montana. the adoptive dad disowned the dillon and she gave us a 6-month temporary power of attorney for his medical care and school issues.

Last time I checked, Dad couldn't be 'she'.

 

[BL]

Take the letter to the court house and file for temporary legal Guardianship.

Explain in your petition how long you've had the child in your care ,and you need something legal of authority for the are of the child.

You can NOT have something written to force the daughter to do anything .

The court may or may not grant it , if the mother is thinking .

 

[abrakay]

Daughter doesn't want son . . .

I'm sorry - let me make myself more clear - first of all, I work in a law firm so I have some backround of family law though I don't want to share my personal life with the firm.
I was hoping the advice here was from those with legal experience even if not an attorney.
Dad "abandon" son by legal defination - has not spent anytime with him for a year. He does pay court ordered child support to my daughter (which she keeps) and he's court ordered to pay insurance but won't give us info for benefits (and because of that we can't get counseling for dillon) Dad would relinquish rights in a heart beat if daughter would let him but she wants child support.
The temporary power of attorney is the same as a temporary guardianship here in Montana - only difference is the guardianship can be filed with the court - however either document is only valid for 6 months at which time he will be a resident of Montana.
I can't seem to find info on grandparents being able to get temporary custody (which would get him on insurance) until my daughter gets her life together. All info refers to other parent. Was hoping grandparents in same situation have some feedback (re: montana) thanks for your posts. kim

 

[Just Blue]

I'm sorry - let me make myself more clear - first of all, I work in a law firm so I have some backround of family law though I don't want to share my personal life with the firm.
I was hoping the advice here was from those with legal experience even if not an attorney.
Dad "abandon" son by legal defination - has not spent anytime with him for a year. He does pay court ordered child support to my daughter (which she keeps) and he's court ordered to pay insurance but won't give us info for benefits (and because of that we can't get counseling for dillon) Dad would relinquish rights in a heart beat if daughter would let him but she wants child support.
The temporary power of attorney is the same as a temporary guardianship here in Montana - only difference is the guardianship can be filed with the court - however either document is only valid for 6 months at which time he will be a resident of Montana.
I can't seem to find info on grandparents being able to get temporary custody (which would get him on insurance) until my daughter gets her life together. All info refers to other parent. Was hoping grandparents in same situation have some feedback (re: montana) thanks for your posts. kim

If you work in a Family Law firm as anything other than housekeeping, then you should know that Dad paying support negates abandonment.

 

[BL]

he's court ordered to pay insurance but won't give us info for benefits (and because of that we can't get counseling for dillon) Dad would relinquish rights in a heart beat if daughter would let him but she wants child support.

Tell dear daughter to give you the insurance info.

 

[abrakay]

child support

Blue Meanie: state law reads: OR little or no financial support - OR little or no contact - OR no plans to prepare for return of child - etc. (so were you raised to be smart ass or did someone beat it into you)

BL: daughter gave me the #'s but because he never gave her a card or benefits, she doesn't know either.

I think I'm on the wrong board - I know to see an attorney - i have a few right here, but I also did not want to waste their time not knowing exactly what I'm asking for - I will continue to use my resources -

Thank you for your time (most of you)

 

[BL]

Blue Meanie: state law reads: OR little or no financial support - OR little or no contact - OR no plans to prepare for return of child - etc. (so were you raised to be smart ass or did someone beat it into you)

BL: daughter gave me the #'s but because he never gave her a card or benefits, she doesn't know either.

I think I'm on the wrong board - I know to see an attorney - i have a few right here, but I also did not want to waste their time not knowing exactly what I'm asking for - I will continue to use my resources -

Thank you for your time (most of you)

I work in a law firm so I have some backround of family law though I don't want to share my personal life with the firm.

Maybe you should move on ,because you're beating around the bush and we caught you .

First of all , you want to take responsibility of the child , but you do not want to share your personal life .

Sorry , tell dear daughter to get the info. or pick up HER child to be responsible for .

If neither parent wants the responsibility and you do ,then by all means consult an Attorney in your area , get a court order ,go to DSS and get this child some benefits and let DSS take it's course .

You will not be able to hide yourself .

Further more ,if the child is in school , schools have counseling .

You are underestimating the value of this forum .