Parenting communication

[lisawithalamp]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OREGON

I have been doing some readig on this site and someone gave me an idea. I keep sending unanswered emails to my ex about parentig issues like what schedule would you like for parent phone calls?, would you like me to send a coat etc. Since I have a restraining order my ex always responds with "Talk to my laywer." in an effort to try to get me to drop the restraining order. Should I start communiticating issues directly to his lawyer and racking up his fees? I think this would undoubtedly cause pressure on him to start co-parenting. Here is the letter I plan to send. Please let me know if I am way off base. I am just trying to find solutions and am open to any ideas!!!

Dear Mr. xxxxxx,

Since you refuse to correspond to me regarding parenting issues do you not want to have visitation at all?

I will begin to contact your lawyer as you have requested many times but I want to let you know that this will come at a cost to you and not me. Send me the address both email and mail and I will begin to send her my concerns rather than you. She will then charge you an hourly fee to read the correspondence and then resend it in her own confusing revision and I am sure she will agree with me. Then she send you a bill but tell you to do exactly what I have asked. I'm following the letter of the law and American moral ethics. You are free to wait for my email to reach you through your lawyer which could take weeks and come with a bill or just follow the provisions in our parenting agreement that protect you from this inconvenience. It is completely your choice.

Sincerely,
xxxx

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OREGON

I have been doing some readig on this site and someone gave me an idea. I keep sending unanswered emails to my ex about parentig issues like what schedule would you like for parent phone calls?, would you like me to send a coat etc. Since I have a restraining order my ex always responds with "Talk to my laywer." in an effort to try to get me to drop the restraining order.

Really? You know that? How about the fact that he is trying to safeguard himself against a vindictive woman who is trying to force him to BREAK the restraining order -- with stunts like refusing to allow the children out of the car unless he talks to her which is a violation of the restraining order. Or communicates through a third party which may be a violation of the restraining order. Here is the simple thing -- if the court order allows phone calls to the children, he gets them. If not you don't get to ask. If he wants to talk to his children on the phone he can email you and ask. Second, if it is cold outside or may get cold, dress the children appropriately. Why are you asking about coats for crying out loud? You are being extremely petty and frivolous in hopes of getting him to break the order so you can run away to AK.

Should I start communiticating issues directly to his lawyer and racking up his fees? I think this would undoubtedly cause pressure on him to start co-parenting. Here is the letter I plan to send. Please let me know if I am way off base. I am just trying to find solutions and am open to any ideas!!!

You are WAY off base.

Dear Mr. xxxxxx,

Since you refuse to correspond to me regarding parenting issues do you not want to have visitation at all?

HOW DARE YOU. You have a court order. He gets visitation per the court order. he doesn't NEED to talk to you to get his court ordered visitation. Granted if YOU had that power then you wouldn't need permission to move to AK but how dare you state such a thing. He gets visitation. You need to suck it up. The person with issues in this situation quite frankly seems to be you based on your past posts.

I will begin to contact your lawyer as you have requested many times but I want to let you know that this will come at a cost to you and not me.

If they are frivolous stupid concerns, expect him to get a court to order YOU to pay the attorney fees. Like, should I put a coat on the children if it is cold outside? Or, do you want to phone the children? Or should we set up a schedule for when the children can eat? Or, did you give the children a dose of children's cough syrup on Friday so that I can parent appropriately on Sunday? Or, did the children go to the bathroom three times each day this weekend? Or, where did the children spend EVERY MINUTE this weekend because I am their mother and deserve to know! Or, did your lousy abusive parents ever have contact with them in any way, shape or form in the last three days?

Send me the address both email and mail and I will begin to send her my concerns rather than you. She will then charge you an hourly fee to read the correspondence and then resend it in her own confusing revision and I am sure she will agree with me. Then she send you a bill but tell you to do exactly what I have asked.

Bull. You are wrong. You do NOT dictate here. When will you comprehend that? You may find yourself facing contempt.

I'm following the letter of the law and American moral ethics.

No you are not. Keeping the children in the car until he caves to your demands? Changing the court order at your whim because of YOUR school, work, and what have you? American moral ethics? What are those? Morals change per person. You are doing what you went when you want it. Face facts. You want him to violate the restraining order to give you ammunition to move to AK with the children and not have to deal with him.

You are free to wait for my email to reach you through your lawyer which could take weeks and come with a bill or just follow the provisions in our parenting agreement that protect you from this inconvenience. It is completely your choice.

Keep up this attitude and you may find yourself visiting your children.

Sincerely,
xxxx

Your behavior is repulsive. Through your own actions and portrayal of your behavior you are acting ridiculously and pathetically and I can see YOU getting hit with paying HIS attorney fees.

 

[Proserpina]

In a nutshell, OP - yep. Ditto OG.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OREGON

I have been doing some readig on this site and someone gave me an idea. I keep sending unanswered emails to my ex about parentig issues like what schedule would you like for parent phone calls?, would you like me to send a coat etc. Since I have a restraining order my ex always responds with "Talk to my laywer." in an effort to try to get me to drop the restraining order. Should I start communiticating issues directly to his lawyer and racking up his fees? I think this would undoubtedly cause pressure on him to start co-parenting. Here is the letter I plan to send. Please let me know if I am way off base. I am just trying to find solutions and am open to any ideas!!!

Dear Mr. xxxxxx,

Since you refuse to correspond to me regarding parenting issues do you not want to have visitation at all?

I will begin to contact your lawyer as you have requested many times but I want to let you know that this will come at a cost to you and not me. Send me the address both email and mail and I will begin to send her my concerns rather than you. She will then charge you an hourly fee to read the correspondence and then resend it in her own confusing revision and I am sure she will agree with me. Then she send you a bill but tell you to do exactly what I have asked. I'm following the letter of the law and American moral ethics. You are free to wait for my email to reach you through your lawyer which could take weeks and come with a bill or just follow the provisions in our parenting agreement that protect you from this inconvenience. It is completely your choice.

Sincerely,
xxxx

If you would like to have open communication with ex regarding the children, go to court and request a modification of the RO.

The more you post the less I believe you "abuse" allegations.

 

[Ohiogal]

If you would like to have open communication with ex regarding the children, go to court and request a modification of the RO.

The more you post the less I believe you "abuse" allegations.

Quite frankly, her abuse allegations have NO credibility based on the actions she stated in HER FIRST post. She is trying to FORCE a confrontation with him. Sounds like she doesn't fear him so much as she wants to antagonize him until he does something so that she can move. Hence all her actions with making statements regarding HIS visitation, trying to control EVERY thing he does with his children, changing the schedule to suit herself due to work/school, keeping herself and the children in the car until she gets what she demands.

Amazingly she just started school and yet wants to move to AK. That will sorta screw with her schedule, don't you think? Hey OP does the new fling live in AK or want to move there?

Oh and having a RO does not mean he was violent. It may be a consent decree where he agreed to leave her the heck alone. A RO does NOT automatically mean violence ensued. I can think of a few posters on here that have RO's against them that are NOT violent.

 

[Just Blue]

Quite frankly, her abuse allegations have NO credibility based on the actions she stated in HER FIRST post. She is trying to FORCE a confrontation with him. Sounds like she doesn't fear him so much as she wants to antagonize him until he does something so that she can move. Hence all her actions with making statements regarding HIS visitation, trying to control EVERY thing he does with his children, changing the schedule to suit herself due to work/school, keeping herself and the children in the car until she gets what she demands.

Amazingly she just started school and yet wants to move to AK. That will sorta screw with her schedule, don't you think? Hey OP does the new fling live in AK or want to move there?

Oh and having a RO does not mean he was violent. It may be a consent decree where he agreed to leave her the heck alone. A RO does NOT automatically mean violence ensued. I can think of a few posters on here that have RO's against them that are NOT violent.

Yup. Totally agree.

 

[pittrocks]

sounds like a whackjob...

 

[gr8rn]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Please let me know if I am way off base. I am just trying to find solutions and am open to any ideas!!!

Yes OP you are way off base