Ex plans to move out of state

[aley333]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My husband has 2 children with his ex wife with whom he shares custody. In their divorce paperwork they share custody and he has visitation of the kids every other weekend and two days during the week. His ex wife is planning to move out of state. She wasnt going to tell him but he found out from the kids that they are moving in the next month. She needs to have my husbands (father of the 2 kids) permission in order to leave the state with the children, however, she plans on leaving whether or not he agrees to it or not. what can he do? My husband was told that he has to file paperwork with the court in order to stop her from going anywhere. What form does he have to file? He doesnt want to take the kids away from there mother but wants to have things put in writing as far as visitation goes. please help.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My husbands has 2 children with his ex wife with whom he shares custody. In their divorce paperwork they share custody and we have visitation of the kids every other weekend and two days during the week. His ex wife is planning to move out of state. She wasnt going to tell us but we found out from the kids that they are moving in the next month. She needs to have my husbands permission in order to leave the state with the children, however, she plans on leaving whether or not he agrees to it or not. what can we do? I was told that we have to file paperwork with the court in order to stop her from going anywhere. What form do we have to file? We dont want to take the kids away from there mother but we want to have things put in writing as far as visitation goes. please help.

Please read the sticky at the top of the forum and edit your post accordingly. Thanks!

 

[Proserpina]

(Thank you for editing!)

Dad needs to file a motion to show cause (requesting an injunction preventing Mom from taking kiddo out of state).

Forms here:

http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/forms/documents/fl300.pdf

And:

http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/forms/documents/fl312.pdf

And please stand by for others to respond - those two forms may be applicable but there might be something moreso.

 

[PQN]

moving

He doesnt want to take the kids away from there mother but wants to have things put in writing as far as visitation goes. please help.

Dad cannot stop Mom from moving out of state. He will likely/may be able to stop the children from moving out of state. That would mean if Mom moves anyway that he would become the custodial parent. Is that what he wants? If not, he may be better served by working out a long distance visitation plan with Mom.

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My husband has 2 children with his ex wife with whom he shares custody. In their divorce paperwork they share custody and he has visitation of the kids every other weekend and two days during the week. His ex wife is planning to move out of state. She wasnt going to tell him but he found out from the kids that they are moving in the next month. She needs to have my husbands (father of the 2 kids) permission in order to leave the state with the children, however, she plans on leaving whether or not he agrees to it or not. what can he do? My husband was told that he has to file paperwork with the court in order to stop her from going anywhere. What form does he have to file? He doesnt want to take the kids away from there mother but wants to have things put in writing as far as visitation goes. please help.

OP, the editing was FANTASTIC!! thank you and i MEAN THANK YOU!! for doing so graciously.

now, just to clarify things up a bit....is dad okay with the move? or does he want to gain custody based on change of circumstance with mom moving the children out of state?

dad has two options. he can file to change the parenting plan to reflect long distance, OR he can request a custody change.

which one?

 

[nemom3]

Dad can file with the courts to have the children remain in the state. Do you have any idea why mom is moving? I ask because quite frankly if he really is ok with Mom being custodial parent it is possible to make her understand that if she moves without approval (either from dad or a judge) then she could quite possibly lose residential custody. Dad can prepare the paperwork and notify Mom if she does move she will quite likely be doing so without the kids. There is also the chance she will move them anyway in which case the courts can order the children back to their home state. If Dad and Mom can talk about this and ensure they understand all the options it would be much better for all involved. I understand not all ex's are willing to be reasonable on some points BUT it is always worth making the effort to make sure.

Mom and Dad need to have a serious talk and he needs to make sure she completely understands the legal ramifications of her actions. It would be much easier for everyone (especially the children) if this conversation could occur ASAP. Mom may very well change her mind once the reality of the situation is properly understood. Keep in mind however there is also a chance that she could petition the courts for permission to move and have it approved - this however is not likely to happen in a mere month.

 

[aley333]

Thank you all for your help. My husband (dad) is willing to work with mom for visitation with the kids. He is prepared to have full custody of the children, however, knows that the children need to be with there mother. It hurts him to be away for so long from the children, but he is willing to come to an agreement as far as visitation. He fears that when mom moves away that he wont be able to see the kids when he wants to...(vacations,etc.) Mom supports 4 of her other family members as well as the children and needs to move out of CA for financial reasons. Dad pays $1300 in child support/spousal support a month and knows it will be difficult to come up with plane ticket money on top of child support. Though visitation may only be two or three times a year, thats an extra $1200/yr he would have to come up with to see them. Bottom line Dad wants it in writing that she will help finance visitation in order to fly the kids back to CA for visits. He does not want her to take the kids out of state until they have come to an agreement. Mom and dad have sat down to talk about it, but mom feels it is none of his business what she does and she will take her children whether he likes it or not. Dad is prepared to take full custody of the children but fears it will break their hearts to be away from their mother. Mom doesnt want to talk or cooperate and Dad doesnt want to lose his kids. Dad just needs to know what he can do in order have specific visitation drawn up including splitting the airplane tickets between both mom and dad. dad is prepared to keep the kids until they can come to an agreement and mom can move if she chooses. He just knows that if she leaves with the kids before anything is put in writing, he may lose them for good.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you all for your help. My husband (dad) is willing to work with mom for visitation with the kids. He is prepared to have full custody of the children, however, knows that the children need to be with there mother. It hurts him to be away for so long from the children, but he is willing to come to an agreement as far as visitation. He fears that when mom moves away that he wont be able to see the kids when he wants to...(vacations,etc.) Mom supports 4 of her other family members as well as the children and needs to move out of CA for financial reasons. Dad pays $1300 in child support/spousal support a month and knows it will be difficult to come up with plane ticket money on top of child support. Though visitation may only be two or three times a year, thats an extra $1200/yr he would have to come up with to see them. Bottom line Dad wants it in writing that she will help finance visitation in order to fly the kids back to CA for visits. He does not want her to take the kids out of state until they have come to an agreement. Mom and dad have sat down to talk about it, but mom feels it is none of his business what she does and she will take her children whether he likes it or not. Dad is prepared to take full custody of the children but fears it will break their hearts to be away from their mother. Mom doesnt want to talk or cooperate and Dad doesnt want to lose his kids. Dad just needs to know what he can do in order have specific visitation drawn up including splitting the airplane tickets between both mom and dad. dad is prepared to keep the kids until they can come to an agreement and mom can move if she chooses. He just knows that if she leaves with the kids before anything is put in writing, he may lose them for good.

What dad needs to do is file a motion to prevent the relocation. Then mom will be forced to mediate with him to come to a fair agreement...or have a judge decide what's fair.

One thing that dad should ask to be included in the agreement is webcam access so that he and the children can both see and speak to each other without the cost of long distance/cell phone minutes.

Mom should also be responsible for the cost of transportation for visitation, as she will be the one who is creating the distance.

 

[aley333]

Thank you for your help... as of today mom and dad have come to an agreement regarding visitation for the children. mom plans on moving out of state with the children and dad has agreed to allow them to go as long as the agreement is upheld. Mom and Dad put the agreement in writing and went to have the paperwork notorized. Now that Mom and Dad have come to an agreement, what paperwork has to be filed with the court?

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you for your help... as of today mom and dad have come to an agreement regarding visitation for the children. mom plans on moving out of state with the children and dad has agreed to allow them to go as long as the agreement is upheld. Mom and Dad put the agreement in writing and went to have the paperwork notorized. Now that Mom and Dad have come to an agreement, what paperwork has to be filed with the court?

Once the paperwork is notarized it should be filed -- AFTER THE JUDGE SIGNS IT-- with the court. The judge needs to sign off on the agreement for it to be legally binding. So make sure that the original has space for the judge to add his/her signature.

 

[aley333]

New problem

Thank you for all of your help. I have a new problem. Since Mom and dad made an agreement and went to have the paperwork notarized, Mom and children left town. Mom left town with the children 2 days after the agreement was notarized. The agreement has not been filed with the court yet and Dad was told that he would get the kids for Christmas because Mom would be leaving at the first of the year. Dad showed up for his normal visitation and the house was vacant. Mom told the children to lie to dad while speaking to him on the phone ( because he calls them everyday). Dad is devastated that he never had a chance to give the children their xmas gifts or even say goodbye. Dad had planned a going away party for friends and family as well to say goodbye to the kids. Mom and the children are currently in New Mexico leaving on an indian reservation. Dad wants to fight for full custody but Mom says that no one can take the children off the reservation and that he wont be able to see the children ever again unless he gives her more money. Is there anything Dad can do?

 

[Proserpina]

Oh his problems may have just gotten much worse...

Tribal Law will matter here - assuming that Mom is affiliated at least. Is that the case?

 

[aley333]

Yes, mom is affiliated or at least I think she just became affiliated. Last year mom and her mother went to New mexico to get information about the tribe because mom's mother is a full blooded member of this tribe. Mom went last year to New Mexico to see if she and her children could become members and recieve benefits from the new casino that was built recently. Now she is living on the reservation.

 

[Proserpina]

Yes, mom is affiliated or at least I think she just became affiliated. Last year mom and her mother went to New mexico to get information about the tribe because mom's mother is a full blooded member of this tribe. Mom went last year to New Mexico to see if she and her children could become members and recieve benefits from the new casino that was built recently. Now she is living on the reservation.

OK yes, that complicates things hugely. Tribal Law may well have jurisdiction - go here, scroll down on the left to see if the reservation or Tribe itself has court/law information listed.

http://www.ntjrc.org/tribalcourts/tribalcourtlinks.asp?38

Depending on where they are, they may not have established residency in terms of jurisdiction so Dad needs to act, and act fast.

 

[The_Non-Mom]

Seniors, wouldn't the jurisdiction still reside with the courts that issued the original orders? She just moved, so how is that enough time for her to establish residency in the new location? Couldn't Dad simply file a motion to have the children immediately returned to California?