I have a question

[Radia]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Doesn't apply

Why is it that when people post their story in a thread, they are immediately told to create a post of their own if they have a question? I understand that people come here for help with legal advice but hearing about people in similar situations helps ppl too, as hearing about people in opposite situations gives them some perspective that they otherwise would not get?

Legal advice can be fine and good, but unless every reply is "consult a lawyer" the fact that judges and districts vary by policy even within a state, that legal advice can be about as accurate as someone's personal experience was.

Not bitching, not whining, not about myself... Just an observation and a question.

 

[cyjeff]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Doesn't apply

Why is it that when people post their story in a thread, they are immediately told to create a post of their own if they have a question? I understand that people come here for help with legal advice but hearing about people in similar situations helps ppl too, as hearing about people in opposite situations gives them some perspective that they otherwise would not get?

Legal advice can be fine and good, but unless every reply is "consult a lawyer" the fact that judges and districts vary by policy even within a state, that legal advice can be about as accurate as someone's personal experience was.

Not bitching, not whining, not about myself... Just an observation and a question.

Because it is just as rude in an internet forum as in real life to butt in on someone else's conversation to say, "what about ME."

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Doesn't apply

Why is it that when people post their story in a thread, they are immediately told to create a post of their own if they have a question? I understand that people come here for help with legal advice but hearing about people in similar situations helps ppl too, as hearing about people in opposite situations gives them some perspective that they otherwise would not get?

Legal advice can be fine and good, but unless every reply is "consult a lawyer" the fact that judges and districts vary by policy even within a state, that legal advice can be about as accurate as someone's personal experience was.

Not bitching, not whining, not about myself... Just an observation and a question.

Here is one of the reasons posters are told to start thier own thread when they post thier question on someone else's thread:

Let's say that YOU start a thread with your question regarding your own personal circumstances. You get several responses, then suddenly someone else posts on your thread asking thier own question, which obviously the circumstances will NOT be exactly alike.
Then others begin answering that person's questions. It doesn't take long for it to become very confusing and inadvertantly the wrong info is given because of the confusion as to which circumstances are being discussed.

Now, do you really really want someone screwing around with the answers to your own situation?

That's 1 of the reasons, another is that it is just plain rude to hijack a thread. It is similar to interupting a vocal conversation.

 

[Radia]

But I am seeing that in some instances ppl are allowed to do it and in others they are called out.

Sharing experiences can be good for people going through difficult situations.

Im seeing two threads at the moment that are prime examples... Here on the first page...

is it more about the tone of venting than it sharing of experience?

 

[cyjeff]

But I am seeing that in some instances ppl are allowed to do it and in others they are called out.

Sharing experiences can be good for people going through difficult situations.

Im seeing two threads at the moment that are prime examples... Here on the first page...

is it more about the tone of venting than it sharing of experience?

We ain't Dr. Phil. If you want to share experiences, join a self help group or private message the poster.

Otherwise, start your own thread.

 

[Radia]

No i get the questions part of it and agree.. but when it is just sharing a similar story?

 

[Radia]

Look cyjeff, im just trying to keep from commuting a faux pas and perhaps help others understand what the rule here is


Clearly in the "Arrest Warrant for non-payment of child support" thread someone is told to make another post yet in the "Define "Self Employed"" thread it is done and is helpful..

Is it the difference in tone, helpfulness, Senior vs Junior member, or just overlooked sometimes?

The rules seem vague and I am just trying to get the feel for the board's norms, no reason to get snippy

 

[Just Blue]

No i get the questions part of it and agree.. but when it is just sharing a similar story?

Is you "story" the same STATE, COUNTY, SITUATION, JUDGE? If not it is useless.

 

[Radia]

Is you "story" the same STATE, COUNTY, SITUATION, JUDGE? If not it is useless.

Its not useless if it makes a person realize they are not alone in their situation...

Its not my story, I have not shared one.

But just as I said in an earlier post, unless your advice is always "seek legal counsel" then the advice may STILL be null in the same "STATE, COUNTY, SITUATION, (and even) JUDGE"

 

[Just Blue]

Its not useless if it makes a person realize they are not alone in their situation...

Its not my story, I have not shared one.

But just as I said in an earlier post, unless your advice is always "seek legal counsel" then the advice may STILL be null in the same "STATE, COUNTY, SITUATION, (and even) JUDGE"

If anyone on this site thinks their "alone" (with the exception of the DV forum) then they are ...idiots...

This is a legal site. Not a "you tell me and I'll tell you" site.

If you, or others, can't post legally relevant (for the state in question) advice. Do Not POST. Period.

 

[LdiJ]

But I am seeing that in some instances ppl are allowed to do it and in others they are called out.

Sharing experiences can be good for people going through difficult situations.

Im seeing two threads at the moment that are prime examples... Here on the first page...

is it more about the tone of venting than it sharing of experience?

If someone is in the same state as the original poster, and shares their situation without asking any questions, that can be helpful. That is not a no-no at all.

If someone is not in the same state as the poster, sharing their situation is generally not very helpful, because each state varies. However, we won't call someone out if the info could be useful.

Asking questions regarding their own situation, on someone else's thread, causes the confusion that someone else has already explained to you. We will call you out on that every time.

 

[Radia]

If someone is in the same state as the original poster, and shares their situation without asking any questions, that can be helpful. That is not a no-no at all.

If someone is not in the same state as the poster, sharing their situation is generally not very helpful, because each state varies. However, we won't call someone out if the info could be useful.

Asking questions regarding their own situation, on someone else's thread, causes the confusion that someone else has already explained to you. We will call you out on that every time.

Thanks, that was the type of clarification I was looking for. I figured it was something that simple but wanted to be sure.

As far as the legally relevant information... rarely do people know what *IS* legally relevant for the layman until a story is told and someone says "you can really use that as a defense" or some such thing..

People tend to think they are alone when they are in the middle of a crisis, simple psychological response.

 

[Proserpina]

Thanks, that was the type of clarification I was looking for. I figured it was something that simple but wanted to be sure.

As far as the legally relevant information... rarely do people know what *IS* legally relevant for the layman until a story is told and someone says "you can really use that as a defense" or some such thing..

People tend to think they are alone when they are in the middle of a crisis, simple psychological response.

Which is precisely why it's usually not encouraged...

There have been several very recent examples where someone has posted their experience to ansewr an OP's question, and has raised the hopes of the OP that they too can enjoy the same result. This doesn't help anyone at all - and it's because people are very emotional that we do tend to discourage such posts...it's far too easy for a frantic CP (for example) to become very excited and hopeful about someone else's results in court, and then have their hopes completely dashed when they are informed that OP's state simply doesn't allow for such a positive end or has a very different set of circumstances.

It's honestly best to "leave it legal" unless you're in a similar state in VERY similar circumstances. In that case, as L said, nobody will be called out on it. If it's emotional support you wish to offer - and we ALL do that from time to time too, don't get me wrong - it's often best to use the PM feature.

 

[Radia]

There have been several very recent examples where someone has posted their experience to ansewr an OP's question, and has raised the hopes of the OP that they too can enjoy the same result. This doesn't help anyone at all - and it's because people are very emotional that we do tend to discourage such posts...it's far too easy for a frantic CP (for example) to become very excited and hopeful about someone else's results in court, and then have their hopes completely dashed when they are informed that OP's state simply doesn't allow for such a positive end or has a very different set of circumstances.

That makes perfect sense. thanks!

 

[LdiJ]

Which is precisely why it's usually not encouraged...

There have been several very recent examples where someone has posted their experience to ansewr an OP's question, and has raised the hopes of the OP that they too can enjoy the same result. This doesn't help anyone at all - and it's because people are very emotional that we do tend to discourage such posts...it's far too easy for a frantic CP (for example) to become very excited and hopeful about someone else's results in court, and then have their hopes completely dashed when they are informed that OP's state simply doesn't allow for such a positive end or has a very different set of circumstances.

It's honestly best to "leave it legal" unless you're in a similar state in VERY similar circumstances. In that case, as L said, nobody will be called out on it. If it's emotional support you wish to offer - and we ALL do that from time to time too, don't get me wrong - it's often best to use the PM feature.

Or...you can state that you are offering emotional support only, but make it clear that your support is not legal support...and/or you can direct the OP to a site that is for emotional support.