Another issue has come up...

[Ozark_Sophist]

Could you confirm this is his weekend for visitation.

 

[Ohiogal]

Well, I have an adult witness that was in the same room when he called this morning, talked to the kiddos only and they hung up the phone. My 11 year old daughter answered the phone when he called, they all three talked to him and that was it.

Would that be any help?

The petty part is YOU not just picking up the phone and talking to him. Instead you will escalate the issue by not being home or anything when you have received word through your child. You could just call him and cut this off at the pass. Is dad in the right? No, not 100%. But to say that you don't want to give him the children on Friday because he didnt' talk to you and told the children is petty.
Call him and tell him that you heard he was picking up the children but you want to confirm it with him. If he will not confirm it with you, tell him that you will therefore not be home on Friday with the children.

 

[CJane]

The petty part is YOU not just picking up the phone and talking to him. Instead you will escalate the issue by not being home or anything when you have received word through your child. You could just call him and cut this off at the pass. Is dad in the right? No, not 100%. But to say that you don't want to give him the children on Friday because he didnt' talk to you and told the children is petty.
Call him and tell him that you heard he was picking up the children but you want to confirm it with him. If he will not confirm it with you, tell him that you will therefore not be home on Friday with the children.

OG, HE is not picking up the children. HE will not be in town. The grandparents will be picking up the children on HIS time and keeping them til he arrives the following day.

This isn't about dad notifying if HE will pick up, it's about Dad notifying if SOMEONE ELSE will pick up.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

In the interest of keeping the drama down, I would send a short and sweet note to dad informing him that he is to notify YOU when and who will be picking up the child. Tell him that to protect his interest, you wouldn't want the message to be forgotten by a child. You might suggest email so that there is written proof for BOTH parties.

Keep the emotions out of it. It only feeds drama.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

OP, is this dad's weekend? In your last thread you were talking about how GPs were asking you to confirm a Friday pickup time and you were saying it wasn't Dad's time. If it's your weekend it doesn't matter if Dad set up pickup with your child, it's still your time.

This weekend is Dads weekend. The grandparents have been calling and threatening me because they also want the kids this week during MY parenting time.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

The petty part is YOU not just picking up the phone and talking to him. Instead you will escalate the issue by not being home or anything when you have received word through your child. You could just call him and cut this off at the pass. Is dad in the right? No, not 100%. But to say that you don't want to give him the children on Friday because he didnt' talk to you and told the children is petty.
Call him and tell him that you heard he was picking up the children but you want to confirm it with him. If he will not confirm it with you, tell him that you will therefore not be home on Friday with the children.

Um, this has nothing to do with HIM picking up the children. He will not be in town this weekend apparently AT ALL. This is about his parent's picking up the children. The ones who have been threatening me all week because they ALSO think they can get them on my time as well. He is supposed to notify me if/and who will be picking them up if not him. He is refusing to do that.

If Dad was picking them up this wouldn't even be brought up, at all. I have NEVER refused him picking up the kids even when he doesn't pick them up when he is supposed to.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Are you saying that the GPs called and NOT dad?

 

[Ohiogal]

Um, this has nothing to do with HIM picking up the children. He will not be in town this weekend apparently AT ALL. This is about his parent's picking up the children. The ones who have been threatening me all week because they ALSO think they can get them on my time as well. He is supposed to notify me if/and who will be picking them up if not him. He is refusing to do that.

Do what you want then. Don't give him the children. Watch him take you back to court for contempt. Which if you were to lose is not a good thing. It could all be avoided with a PHONE CALL from you. That is all.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

Do what you want then. Don't give him the children. Watch him take you back to court for contempt. Which if you were to lose is not a good thing. It could all be avoided with a PHONE CALL from you. That is all.

It could all be avoided by a phone call from him. The judge said that is what he HAS to do. The judge is the one who said in court that if he doesn't, this is what I should do.

Again, it's not about him picking up the children...he isn't going to.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

Are you saying that the GPs called and NOT dad?

Grandparents have been calling all week leaving threatening messages that they want kiddos during the week on my time.

Dad is supposed to inform me ahead of time if he is having grandparents pick kiddos up for his weekend which is this Friday. Dad informed seven year old child and hung up the phone and purposly chose not to speak to me.

 

[CJane]

It could all be avoided by a phone call from him. The judge said that is what he HAS to do. The judge is the one who said in court that if he doesn't, this is what I should do.

Again, it's not about him picking up the children...he isn't going to.

Look, the judge was very specific. Dad has to notify YOU. If dad does not, the judge gave you carte blanche to "close the door in the faces" of whoever DOES show up.

There really isn't any question here. Telling a 7 year old that Gramma is picking her/him up is NOT iinforming the parent. In fact, doing so would normally be called "craptastic" 'round these parts.

 

[Ohiogal]

It could all be avoided by a phone call from him. The judge said that is what he HAS to do. The judge is the one who said in court that if he doesn't, this is what I should do.

Again, it's not about him picking up the children...he isn't going to.

It is a phone call. And you two NEED to learn to communicate. You are digging in and being stubborn about the CALLING HIM OVER THIS? Seriously? Yes he is horrible for NOT calling to speak specifically to you. Maybe in his mind he believes he told you by phone because he told the children. Wrong? yes. But quite frankly it is petty not to even want to pick up the phone and talk to him about matters concerning YOUR JOINT CHILDREN. Really.

 

[LdiJ]

Um, this has nothing to do with HIM picking up the children. He will not be in town this weekend apparently AT ALL. This is about his parent's picking up the children. The ones who have been threatening me all week because they ALSO think they can get them on my time as well. He is supposed to notify me if/and who will be picking them up if not him. He is refusing to do that.

If Dad was picking them up this wouldn't even be brought up, at all. I have NEVER refused him picking up the kids even when he doesn't pick them up when he is supposed to.

You know, the judge SPECIFICALLY told you that you could literally slam the door in the face of whomever showed up, if dad did not inform you in advance that someone else was going to be picking up on his behalf.

I would send an email reminding dad of that, and reminding him that he has not given you any notification at all.

Dear Dad,

I just wanted to remind you that the judge ordered that you are required to specifically notify me via electronic means if someone else is going to be picking the child up on Friday of your weekend. In fact, the judge specifically stated that I could slam the door in someone's face if you didn't.

You haven't notified me of anything regarding this weekend, so I am assuming that you are picking them up on Saturday again. Therefore the kids and I have made other plans and will not be home Friday night. If anything changes, please let me know.

 

[tornado88]

If it was me, I would call him, or send an email for proof, and let him know that THIS time you will accept the notification but remind him of what the judge said and tell him that children should not be put in the middle of adult matters.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

It is a phone call. And you two NEED to learn to communicate. You are digging in and being stubborn about the CALLING HIM OVER THIS? Seriously? Yes he is horrible for NOT calling to speak specifically to you. Maybe in his mind he believes he told you by phone because he told the children. Wrong? yes. But quite frankly it is petty not to even want to pick up the phone and talk to him about matters concerning YOUR JOINT CHILDREN. Really.

That's just it, I could call him. I have actually called him twice this week already and he will not return my calls. He called to talk to the kids and afterwards my daughter handed me the phone and he hung up. He will not speak to me, he is playing games. What am I supposed to do if he will not talk to me or return my calls????