Another issue has come up...

[CJane]

If it was me, I would call him, or send an email for proof, and let him know that THIS time you will accept the notification but remind him of what the judge said and tell him that children should not be put in the middle of adult matters.

Here's why I wouldn't do that... because "this time" almost always becomes "every time". Then, when you're in court and the judge says "Well, why was it ok THEN but it's not NOW?", you really have no answer.

I would leave the kids out of it entirely and behave as if they didn't pass on the message. So yes, email Dad if you must. And simply say "Hey, it's Wednesday, haven't heard from you. What's the deal w/visitation this weekend?"

 

[Raisingmaddy]

You know, the judge SPECIFICALLY told you that you could literally slam the door in the face of whomever showed up, if dad did not inform you in advance that someone else was going to be picking up on his behalf.

I would send an email reminding dad of that, and reminding him that he has not given you any notification at all.

Dear Dad,

I just wanted to remind you that the judge ordered that you are required to specifically notify me via electronic means if someone else is going to be picking the child up on Friday of your weekend. In fact, the judge specifically stated that I could slam the door in someone's face if you didn't.

You haven't notified me of anything regarding this weekend, so I am assuming that you are picking them up on Saturday again. Therefore the kids and I have made other plans and will not be home Friday night. If anything changes, please let me know.

Thank you, this is exactly what I am going to do. I know what the judge told me, but at the same time I am afraid of getting in trouble for actually doing it. I am trying to stand up for myself for once and not let them bully me around anymore and that is why I don't want to give in anymore.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

Here's why I wouldn't do that... because "this time" almost always becomes "every time". Then, when you're in court and the judge says "Well, why was it ok THEN but it's not NOW?", you really have no answer.

I would leave the kids out of it entirely and behave as if they didn't pass on the message. So yes, email Dad if you must. And simply say "Hey, it's Wednesday, haven't heard from you. What's the deal w/visitation this weekend?"

Exactly, thank you!!!!! This time always turns into every time with them.

 

[Lulu Roberts]

I went through the same thing. As long as dad tellsomeone in the home wheather it being you or the kids he is within his rights of the order. It make life easier if you would just call him back and confirm who will be there. It's easier to talk than cause drama. Think you need to do what's right for the kids not how you may feel how he should do things.

 

[tornado88]

Point taken CJane.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

I went through the same thing. As long as dad tellsomeone in the home wheather it being you or the kids he is within his rights of the order. It make life easier if you would just call him back and confirm who will be there. It's easier to talk than cause drama. Think you need to do what's right for the kids not how you may feel how he should do things.

That is not true in this case. The judge was very specific. In addition to that I told the judge that I want Dad and grandparents to cease discussing adult and court matters with the kids because they tell them everything in great detail, every weekend they have them. The judge told them they need to stop discussing these issues with the kids immediately.

Again, I have called him twice this week already, no return calls whatsoever.

 

[LdiJ]

That is not true in this case. The judge was very specific. In addition to that I told the judge that I want Dad and grandparents to cease discussing adult and court matters with the kids because they tell them everything in great detail, every weekend they have them. The judge told them they need to stop discussing these issues with the kids immediately.

Again, I have called him twice this week already, no return calls whatsoever.

Send the email. If he doesn't notify you then don't be home Friday night. Believe me the gps will get all over him and he won't blow off notifying you again.

 

[Ohiogal]

Send the email. If he doesn't notify you then don't be home Friday night. Believe me the gps will get all over him and he won't blow off notifying you again.

I agree with LD. Some communication from you is better than none and it gets around him ignoring you. Copy yourself on the email as well.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

I agree with LD. Some communication from you is better than none and it gets around him ignoring you. Copy yourself on the email as well.

Thank you both. This is exactly what I am going to do.