Update...

[Raisingmaddy]

Do you know beforehand is dad is going to be present at pick up times? If so...maybe just not be home if dad isn't going to be there.

Yep, he is required to let me know prior to pick up who will be picking up kiddos.

I have thought about not being home, and the pros and cons of that. I know the GP will call the police absolutely, no doubt. I will at least make sure my kiddos are not home because I DO NOT want them to see it happening.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

Here's the deal though - the judge isn't stupid. When a judge makes a ruling that completely violates a parent's rights to due process, and makes rulings in favor or petitions that were never filed, etc (and believe me, I have some experience in this area), they DON'T reduce it to a written order. Sometimes EVER, sometimes not for months and months.

If it's not a final order, it can't be appealed. Sometimes, if it's a "docket order" (wrong terminology, but all I can come up with) then it's still not a final order, but IS in writing and can be enforced (this is what happened to me) but cannot be appealed.

This way, by the time it's reduced to writing, or the parent whose rights were violated gathers their wits and money and gets an attorney, very often a new status quo has been established.

Can a "docket order" be enforced if it is not legal?

 

[liandrajade]

Can a "docket order" be enforced if it is not legal?

this whole b.s child support order, is there actually anything in writing??? what does the court order say?

 

[Raisingmaddy]

this whole b.s child support order, is there actually anything in writing??? what does the court order say?

I think it was Cjane that mentioned earlier something about a possible "docket order" since the Judges verbal ruling was not reduced to a written order.

All I have in writing that came out of the whole thing is a copy of my new child support modification paperwork. Thats it. I think the Judge just thinks that I am stupid, or naive enough to just follow everything he said and take it as law.

It will be interesting to see what happens when we end up back in court. The judge already scheduled another Child Support hearing, it's in 6 months so I am SURE if things aren't filed against me before then, they will try to address them at that hearing.

 

[liandrajade]

freaking awesome! its all about papertrail....legally if it aint in writing, you cannot be held to it legally...nice....how are you doing by the way? hanging in there?

 

[Raisingmaddy]

freaking awesome! its all about papertrail....legally if it aint in writing, you cannot be held to it legally...nice....how are you doing by the way? hanging in there?

Exactly, or so I hope that is how it goes. With this judge I'm just not sure. So far I'm doing ok, actually I'm SOOOO much better than I was just a few days ago thanks to the help on here from all of you, and the meeting I just had with the attorneys.

It's just the beginning with these people though...The bigger drama may all begin next Friday and I'm trying not to shake in my boots! These people scare me really bad, I'm trying not to let them...but, it's a work in progress

 

[liandrajade]

Exactly, or so I hope that is how it goes. With this judge I'm just not sure. So far I'm doing ok, actually I'm SOOOO much better than I was just a few days ago thanks to the help on here from all of you, and the meeting I just had with the attorneys.

It's just the beginning with these people though...The bigger drama may all begin next Friday and I'm trying not to shake in my boots! These people scare me really bad, I'm trying not to let them...but, it's a work in progress

take whatever little fear you have and turn it into something else, determination, anger,whatever you want

you have the law on your side, never let them see you sweat, they want a reaction out of you and dont give it to them, its going to be hard, believe me i know....keep your head up and you will be just fine....feel free to send me a pm if you want to talk privately, i've been in your shoes.....

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Work on getting dad to say WHEN he intends to be a the parent's home for visitation. Since you have a court order that states that dad must state that, see about getting him to give the info in WRITING.

 

[Raisingmaddy]

Work on getting dad to say WHEN he intends to be a the parent's home for visitation. Since you have a court order that states that dad must state that, see about getting him to give the info in WRITING.

This could be the most difficult part, especially once he catches on. I'm expecting him to start telling me "its none of my business".

He is only required to tell me ahead of time of the GP will be the ones picking up kiddos. I have to try to get him to tell me when he will actually be in town.

If he says he will be in town Friday night, just not by 7 I will tell him he is more than welcome to pick up kiddos when he gets here if its not too late.

If it is too late, I'm gonna tell him to just pick kiddos up Saturday morning bright and early if he wants. And of course if he isn't getting here until Saturday he can pick them up when he gets here.

The attorneys said I can and should do it this way and that the only way GP are allowed to pick up kiddos would be if they were transporting them straight to Dads house 5 hours away, or if Dad was sitting at GP house and just wanted them to pick up kiddos and take them straight to him.

I already know the first time this happens, which I'm assuming will be next weekend all hell is gonna break loose.

 

[LdiJ]

This could be the most difficult part, especially once he catches on. I'm expecting him to start telling me "its none of my business".

He is only required to tell me ahead of time of the GP will be the ones picking up kiddos. I have to try to get him to tell me when he will actually be in town.

If he says he will be in town Friday night, just not by 7 I will tell him he is more than welcome to pick up kiddos when he gets here if its not too late.

If it is too late, I'm gonna tell him to just pick kiddos up Saturday morning bright and early if he wants. And of course if he isn't getting here until Saturday he can pick them up when he gets here.

The attorneys said I can and should do it this way and that the only way GP are allowed to pick up kiddos would be if they were transporting them straight to Dads house 5 hours away, or if Dad was sitting at GP house and just wanted them to pick up kiddos and take them straight to him.

I already know the first time this happens, which I'm assuming will be next weekend all hell is gonna break loose.

Yes, all heck will break loose.

The grandparents cannot file for contempt because they never filed a petition for grandparent visitation and were never given grandparent visitation under a valid court order.

Dad is the only one who can file for contempt. If he does, you get the attorneys on board immediately, and let them handle it. The attorneys will make sure that the judge doesn't try to make any more illegal orders like that...and the judge CANNOT hold you in contempt without reducing it to a written order that can be appealed.

I was once present in court for a gpv case where the judge had made illegal orders and the gps filed for contempt because mom didn't honor the orders. The judge flat out admitted that the orders were invalid and that he could not enforce them or hold mom in contempt, that he simply "hoped" that mom would obey the orders.

Ultimately, the judge ruled against the gps because that was the only legal thing that the judge could do.

In your case the situation is even more extreme. Rely on the attorneys to handle it.