How do I find out if someone divorced me?

[sogwap]

Texas

I always have these crazy inquiries, but well here goes. It's a long story that I won't get into, so I hope that no one will judge me. Long to short -- I know that people can get a divorce by putting an ad in the paper and if there's no response, than they can be granted a divorce. By the way this is a New York State matter. That's where I lived when I was married. I left 3 1/2 years ago after trying to get a divorce and legal custody of my kids. The subject couldn't be found, so no divorce, no support, nothing. I didn't do the "ad" thing. I just figured what the heck, I'm not interested in a relationship anyway. Too much hassle, so I just live my life blah blah blah. But now, I wonder whether he got a divorce from me.

I know I should have pursued the divorce, etc. but it's a long story and too much. BUT I could have been held responsible for some of his horrible mistakes, financial and otherwise. Who knows? Anyway, the jerk tries now to contact his kids. They're 18 and 17. They want nothing to do with him. They never did. He didn't even ask them how they were or apologize for what he did.

I tried finding out Online because divorce is public record, but it seems that nothing is free anymore and I'm now in Texas. How could I go about finding out without making a big deal about it?

 

[LdiJ]

Texas

I always have these crazy inquiries, but well here goes. It's a long story that I won't get into, so I hope that no one will judge me. Long to short -- I know that people can get a divorce by putting an ad in the paper and if there's no response, than they can be granted a divorce. By the way this is a New York State matter. That's where I lived when I was married. I left 3 1/2 years ago after trying to get a divorce and legal custody of my kids. The subject couldn't be found, so no divorce, no support, nothing. I didn't do the "ad" thing. I just figured what the heck, I'm not interested in a relationship anyway. Too much hassle, so I just live my life blah blah blah. But now, I wonder whether he got a divorce from me.

I know I should have pursued the divorce, etc. but it's a long story and too much. BUT I could have been held responsible for some of his horrible mistakes, financial and otherwise. Who knows? Anyway, the jerk tries now to contact his kids. They're 18 and 17. They want nothing to do with him. They never did. He didn't even ask them how they were or apologize for what he did.

I tried finding out Online because divorce is public record, but it seems that nothing is free anymore and I'm now in Texas. How could I go about finding out without making a big deal about it?

Why don't you simply go ahead and get a divorce in TX?

 

[Ohiogal]

OR she could ask the "jerk" if he divorced her.

 

[sogwap]

Is that possible?

Why don't you simply go ahead and get a divorce in TX?

How do I do that if he's still in New York.

 

[sogwap]

OR she could ask the "jerk" if he divorced her.

I'm not ready to talk to the "jerk". It takes time to forgive and unfortunately I'm not there. Talking to him would be really hard for me at least today**************

 

[Ohiogal]

I'm not ready to talk to the "jerk". It takes time to forgive and unfortunately I'm not there. Talking to him would be really hard for me at least today**************

And yet it would save you a lot of time and money to just ask the question. But okay. Do it your way because my way is too hard. Yet filing for divorce, getting an attorney (if you don't know the law and how to file), serving dad, waiting the time and waging a divorce trial (even if already divorced) is a lot easier.

 

[sogwap]

And yet it would save you a lot of time and money to just ask the question. But okay. Do it your way because my way is too hard. Yet filing for divorce, getting an attorney (if you don't know the law and how to file), serving dad, waiting the time and waging a divorce trial (even if already divorced) is a lot easier.

No. of course your way is definitely much smarter and easier. You're right! I was just being the "jerk". Actually it's just not pleasant, but hey who doesn't have to do things in this life that aren't pleasant especially if it saves lots of time and lots of money. So that's what I will do. I will face it and just ask him. Piece of cake. Thanks!