Modification in parenting plan

[nana99]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NH

In December a parenting plan was signed in TN. At that time the father still lived in TN. He has since moved to NH where I have lived since August. In this parenting plan, it stated I was residential parent and he would have visitation every other month for 2 weeks and alternating holidays. Since he has moved here, he has filed papers to have the parenting plan moved to NH, he is wanting to modify this plan to have every other weekend and one night a week, which I agree upon. We also have papers stating that because of his living quarters that until there is a home study done, the child only has supervised visits and no over night visits. He is also wanting the plan to be modified to have joint custody, exactly what difference would that mean and what are the chances a NH court would over turn what has been signed by a TN court?

 

[CJane]

How, exactly, were you planning to facilitate every other month for two weeks SUPERVISED with no overnights?

Seems weird.

The chances are excellent that once NH has jurisdiction, Dad will receive exactly the amount of time he's looking for and you're willing to agree to.

I assume his "living quarters" have changed since he lived in TN, yes?

 

[nana99]

How, exactly, were you planning to facilitate every other month for two weeks SUPERVISED with no overnights?

The every other month was for when he lived in TN. In the parenting plan submitted to the judge I had it in there that IF he moved to NH that it would be every other weekend. But for whatever reason the judge decided signed the GAL's propesed plan that did not change visitation times if he moved.

The chances are excellent that once NH has jurisdiction, Dad will receive exactly the amount of time he's looking for and you're willing to agree to.

I am more concerned about the changing from me being the CP to joint.

I assume his "living quarters" have changed since he lived in TN, yes?

His living quarters in TN were with his mother and that was not an issue, the orders for the home study are for his place in NH.

 

[CJane]

I am more concerned about the changing from me being the CP to joint.

Joint physical custody means very little. Only that your child lives part time at both homes. It does NOT mean a 50/50 split.

Joint legal custody means you have to share in making decisions for the child.

His living quarters in TN were with his mother and that was not an issue, the orders for the home study are for his place in NH.

So the "paper" that requires the home study and supervision and junk isn't a court order, right?

Why do you think a home study should be required before he has the child overnight/unsupervised?

 

[nana99]

Joint physical custody means very little. Only that your child lives part time at both homes. It does NOT mean a 50/50 split.

Joint legal custody means you have to share in making decisions for the child.

So if he would have her every other weekend that would mean that she lives there part of the time. As of right now I have legal custody so I have the right to make decisions for her, that is another thing he is wanting to change he wants to be able to make decisions as far as her religion and school.

So the "paper" that requires the home study and supervision and junk isn't a court order, right?

Why do you think a home study should be required before he has the child overnight/unsupervised?

The paper that requires a home study is court ordered. It was ordered once he moved to NH and I saw where he lived. He lives in the loft of another persons apartment. There is not a door to his area, windows, heat source, water, or restroom. The man who lives in the apartment has a restroom in his part of the place, but would prefer no one to use it unless he is at home. The only other bathroom available is a community bathroom four floors down. He moved into this place after meeting this man via the internet. My daughter is 22 months old.

 

[WittyUserName]

So Dad deserves less time with his child based on the placement of the bathroom?

 

[nana99]

So Dad deserves less time with his child based on the placement of the bathroom?

It's not the placement of the bathroom, it is all of it together. If there were a fire there is absolutely no exit out of the area. There are large gaps in the railing around the area that she can fit though and would fall about 20 feet straight down. As I said it's not a matter of the placement of the bathroom, I wouldn't be the one running up and down 60 stairs to take her "potty" or to bathe her. The way this area that he stays is set up, a baby gate can't be put at the top of the stairs. I do not feel that it is a safe environment and neither did the attorneys for both sides or the judge.

 

[nextwife]

It's not the placement of the bathroom, it is all of it together. If there were a fire there is absolutely no exit out of the area. There are large gaps in the railing around the area that she can fit though and would fall about 20 feet straight down.

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As I said it's not a matter of the placement of the bathroom, I wouldn't be the one running up and down 60 stairs to take her "potty" or to bathe her. The way this area that he stays is set up, a baby gate can't be put at the top of the stairs. I do not feel that it is a safe environment and neither did the attorneys for both sides or the judge.

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[nana99]

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Obviously you were trying to show me different gates and such, this is a loft/attic once you get to the top of the stairs, the top 3 or so don't even have a wall there. Unless you see this place or have a diagram there is no way to understand how it is set up. Imagine instead of having a pull down ladder into an attic there are a set of stairs. Once you get to the top of the stairs on one side is a small railing, there is nothing on the other side. This is one room and the top of the stairs basicly ends in the middle of the room.I have already searched the internet for hours for a way to make it safe. But thank you very much for trying to give me a solution.

 

[LdiJ]

It's not the placement of the bathroom, it is all of it together. If there were a fire there is absolutely no exit out of the area. There are large gaps in the railing around the area that she can fit though and would fall about 20 feet straight down. As I said it's not a matter of the placement of the bathroom, I wouldn't be the one running up and down 60 stairs to take her "potty" or to bathe her. The way this area that he stays is set up, a baby gate can't be put at the top of the stairs. I do not feel that it is a safe environment and neither did the attorneys for both sides or the judge.

If BOTH attorneys and the judge did not feel that the living quarters were suitable for a child, then I think that we all need to accept that the living quarters truly are not suitable for a child.

To get back to your original question, joint legal custody (joint decision making) is very much the norm. If he wants joint legal custody its almost guaranteed that he will receive joint legal custody.

 

[CJane]

And you already have an order for supervised/no overnights until he finds another place to live.

Start emailing him links to places on CL.