Will I win when I fight for custody?

[cinnamongirl85]

Hi there from Texas. My ex and I were together for almost two years, we got into several altercations and I decided the best thing for me and my child was for me to leave. I lived with my mom for about a year after that and allowed my ex to see him whenever it he wanted to. When I left, I left the car and everything because he needed it for his job. I finally found a job and the ex agreed to pay for daycare, the only catch was that it would located closer to where he was not anywhere close to a bus line. So I would allow him to stay with him on nights where I was unable to get a ride to get him to daycare. It continued on this way until I was able to get a car due to school and the job, until it became where he was keeping him more than I was. He has and extensive history of drinking and anger problems, he recently had a wreck where he almost died and almost killed a couple of other people. He then had another wreck most likely because of his drinking about a week ago, but I don't have a police report or blood test to prove this one. He has also had a few DWIs. Recently he asked for a divorce and already had the papers drawn up, I did not have the money to fight for custodial but was told not to worry about it cause he would never keep me from seeing him. The papers said that he would have custodial (stupid me), and the two parties would come up with a written agreement. Now, he has cut down my visitation to maybe picking him up from school once a week and dropping him off at night, and then picking him up on saturday afternoon and keeping him saturday night. Since the whole accident thing has happened I have became extremely worried that my ex is or has been drinking and driving with my son in the car. I have nightmares that something is going to happen to him and it will be all my fault. I ask every day to see him more, but my ex tells me that I can't and I'm afraid of getting in trouble for custodial interference. It has gone beyond what's best for my son and has became a control issue for my ex. I just want to see my son more and my son wants to see me more. I also want to know that he is safe, and I can't trust that my ex won't get in the car with him drunk. My situation right now is that I have been fired from my job a few weeks back, I have several interviews coming up this week, but I am afraid that if I try to fight I will be told I cannot take care of him financially. However, my current boyfriend makes plenty of money to support us all. Will the courts take into consideration the amount of money that my boyfriend makes? Will it even be an issue? Sorry this is a such a long post guys, it's just kind of a long story.

 

[CurrentlyUndone]

Hi there from Texas. My ex and I were together for almost two years, we got into several altercations and I decided the best thing for me and my child was for me to leave. I lived with my mom for about a year after that and allowed my ex to see him whenever it he wanted to. When I left, I left the car and everything because he needed it for his job. I finally found a job and the ex agreed to pay for daycare, the only catch was that it would located closer to where he was not anywhere close to a bus line. So I would allow him to stay with him on nights where I was unable to get a ride to get him to daycare. It continued on this way until I was able to get a car due to school and the job, until it became where he was keeping him more than I was. He has and extensive history of drinking and anger problems, he recently had a wreck where he almost died and almost killed a couple of other people. He then had another wreck most likely because of his drinking about a week ago, but I don't have a police report or blood test to prove this one. He has also had a few DWIs. Recently he asked for a divorce and already had the papers drawn up, I did not have the money to fight for custodial but was told not to worry about it cause he would never keep me from seeing him. The papers said that he would have custodial (stupid me), and the two parties would come up with a written agreement. Now, he has cut down my visitation to maybe picking him up from school once a week and dropping him off at night, and then picking him up on saturday afternoon and keeping him saturday night. Since the whole accident thing has happened I have became extremely worried that my ex is or has been drinking and driving with my son in the car. I have nightmares that something is going to happen to him and it will be all my fault. I ask every day to see him more, but my ex tells me that I can't and I'm afraid of getting in trouble for custodial interference. It has gone beyond what's best for my son and has became a control issue for my ex. I just want to see my son more and my son wants to see me more. I also want to know that he is safe, and I can't trust that my ex won't get in the car with him drunk. My situation right now is that I have been fired from my job a few weeks back, I have several interviews coming up this week, but I am afraid that if I try to fight I will be told I cannot take care of him financially. However, my current boyfriend makes plenty of money to support us all. Will the courts take into consideration the amount of money that my boyfriend makes? Will it even be an issue? Sorry this is a such a long post guys, it's just kind of a long story.

No. It doesn't matter if your boyfriend is Donald Trump.

On the other side of that coin though, Dad earning more than you isn't going to be held against you either.

Your fears of something happening which hasn't actually happened yet aren't honestly going to matter much, I'm afraid.

 

[Isis1]

OP, go to court to modify the visitation plan. make it very specific. outline the days, the transportation, the overnights. this way, dad cannot deny you your time with the child.

do a criminal check on dad. find out how recent the DWI's were, find out who was involved, if there was an actual criminal charge.

and ditto what Undone said.

 

[cinnamongirl85]

OP, go to court to modify the visitation plan. make it very specific. outline the days, the transportation, the overnights. this way, dad cannot deny you your time with the child.

do a criminal check on dad. find out how recent the DWI's were, find out who was involved, if there was an actual criminal charge.

and ditto what Undone said.

I'm not too worried about the money thing, I am pretty optomistic that I will have a job bringing more money in than him soon anyway. I will have a criminal check done, and from what I understand from the ex the DA is looking into filing criminal charges. Should I wait to see if they file charges if they didn't already? Would this be better evidence to have in court rather than a few past DWIs?

 

[Isis1]

I'm not too worried about the money thing, I am pretty optomistic that I will have a job bringing more money in than him soon anyway. I will have a criminal check done, and from what I understand from the ex the DA is looking into filing criminal charges. Should I wait to see if they file charges if they didn't already? Would this be better evidence to have in court rather than a few past DWIs?

don't worry about the actual DWIs, worry about whether or not the child was in the car at the time. worry about whether dad has a valid driver's license and whether or not dad is driving around with the child as an unlicensed driver.

if the child was with you, or with a babysitter, then those DWIs do nothing for you.

 

[cinnamongirl85]

don't worry about the actual DWIs, worry about whether or not the child was in the car at the time. worry about whether dad has a valid driver's license and whether or not dad is driving around with the child as an unlicensed driver.

if the child was with you, or with a babysitter, then those DWIs do nothing for you.

The reason I bring up the DWIs is because that's the only way I can think of proving that he is an alcoholic. He drinks so bad he would mix vodka with gatorade and take it work with him. Do these things really not matter to a judge?

 

[Isis1]

The reason I bring up the DWIs is because that's the only way I can think of proving that he is an alcoholic. He drinks so bad he would mix vodka with gatorade and take it work with him. Do these things really not matter to a judge?

nope. the judge doesn't give a flyng fig that dad is a functional alcoholic. if his job is okay with it, so is the judge.

 

[cinnamongirl85]

nope. the judge doesn't give a flyng fig that dad is a functional alcoholic. if his job is okay with it, so is the judge.

Wow. He's not functioning by the way. He passed out in the back of a truck of his last job, was taken to a hospital and fired because of his blood alcohol. It's crazy to think that a judge would even place a child with a functioning alcoholic let alone non functioning. I forgot to mention that I am not wanting to keep my ex from seeing him %100. I just don't want him to be allowed to ride in a car with him, and I would like custodial.

 

[CurrentlyUndone]

Wow. He's not functioning by the way. He passed out in the back of a truck of his last job, was taken to a hospital and fired because of his blood alcohol. It's crazy to think that a judge would even place a child with a functioning alcoholic let alone non functioning. I forgot to mention that I am not wanting to keep my ex from seeing him %100. I just don't want him to be allowed to ride in a car with him, and I would like custodial.

Being an alcoholic is NOT a bar to custody unless the child is directly placed in harm's way as a result of the alcoholism.

 

[Gail in Georgia]

YOU may believe that it's crazy to place a child with a functioning alcoholic but that's exactly what you've been doing.

Gail

 

[CurrentlyUndone]

YOU may believe that it's crazy to place a child with a functioning alcoholic but that's exactly what you've been doing.

Gail

Ouch!

But a completely valid point.

 

[cinnamongirl85]

YOU may believe that it's crazy to place a child with a functioning alcoholic but that's exactly what you've been doing.

Gail

I also forgot to add in my original post which I was trying to shorten that my ex lives with his mother who was the one driving him to daycare and taking care of him when he was not with me. The former mother in law has now returned to work and the ex is the one driving him around. I would NEVER put my child in harms way. Which is NOW why I am taking him to court.

 

[Isis1]

I also forgot to add in my original post which I was trying to shorten that my ex lives with his mother who was the one driving him to daycare and taking care of him when he was not with me. The former mother in law has now returned to work and the ex is the one driving him around. I would NEVER put my child in harms way. Which is NOW why I am taking him to court.

you need to focus on other issues. not dad's drinking.