Child refuses to go to dinner w/NCP

[gr8rn]

She needs to make her child aware that this is not a choice. That if child does not go to spend time with Dad, that he has every right to take the matter to court, and that there is always a chance that the judge will change the order so that child has to LIVE with Dad. It's that simple, visit with Dad now, or possibly live with him later.

 

[stealth2]

I don't think it's necessary to go there (visit or possibly live with Dad - that's rather inappropriate, IMO). An 8yo CHILD should not have any illusions that there is no reason to do as he's told by a parent. He needs to be disabused of that notion immediately.

Personally, I'd ground him. And I'd also likely have him call his father and apologize for his behavior.

 

[gr8rn]

IMO, we don't know what is going on over at Dads. My 7yo went through this stage as well. Personally, I did not like forcing him to go, but his father started to threaten to take me back to court to change custody if this didn't change. He was convinced I was responsible for this. I already had son in individual and group counseling. And I knew that there was a lot of drinking going on over there. Son does not like to hear his father retching all hours of the night. He was pretty much sitting on the couch over there all weekend while Dad and his SO drank all night.
I didn't like it, but I knew I could only do so much and after that, Dad still has his rights. Son would run and hide when he came to pick him up.
I got tired of the fight.
Telling son that there was a chance judge would make him live with Dad was the only thing that got through to him. He realized that sitting on a couch every other weekend, watching Dad drink for 2 days striaight was humonogously more appealing than living there full time. Now he goes, plays his PSP, sits on the couch and watches tv, goes to bed when he is told and Sunday evening he is very glad to come back to a normal home.

 

[stealth2]

IMO, we don't know what is going on over at Dads. My 7yo went through this stage as well. Personally, I did not like forcing him to go, but his father started to threaten to take me back to court to change custody if this didn't change. He was convinced I was responsible for this. I already had son in individual and group counseling. And I knew that there was a lot of drinking going on over there. Son does not like to hear his father retching all hours of the night. He was pretty much sitting on the couch over there all weekend while Dad and his SO drank all night.
I didn't like it, but I knew I could only do so much and after that, Dad still has his rights. Son would run and hide when he came to pick him up.
I got tired of the fight.
Telling son that there was a chance judge would make him live with Dad was the only thing that got through to him. He realized that sitting on a couch every other weekend, watching Dad drink for 2 days striaight was humonogously more appealing than living there full time. Now he goes, plays his PSP, sits on the couch and watches tv, goes to bed when he is told and Sunday evening he is very glad to come back to a normal home.

Well, going only on the information given (another reason why it's best to have the actual party posting, because third parties are not privy to all the details), apparently there is nothing untoward going on. Until something is indicated, the kid's being an undisciplined brat, IMO.

 

[cyjeff]

Ask your friend what she does when the boy refuses to go to school.

Her answer to that question should be the answer to your primary one.